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Yes it is unbearable, I often felt like it was killing me and I realy just wanted it all to go away. It has been 7 years for me since i met my Son and i would say that my feelings started to die down after three years, i knew that i didn't want to have a romantic relationship with him, for me that would have been soooo wrong but it didn't stop us from doing things that i regretted. Thankfully my Son lives thousands of miles from me so that we don't have contact now, much better for me that way. I just want to say though that even though i lost a lot of my romantic feelings for my Son that i was still very jeleous and that there had been so much damage done in that time, i am only now recovering from all the trauma that our reunion created. Sometimes we don't feel the pain for a while after the event. It's great that you have found this site as i really wish that i had found it sooner to help me with the lonely road that i travelled. I don't think that i fully realized how terrible i was feeling, suicidal at times, put it all to the back of my mind. I am now dealing with it full on, not always easy but i am looking forward to the journey and what it will reveal about me as a person.
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