GSA Forums - View Single Post - My half-sister

Allenbird · 10-03-2011, 02:47 PM

I guess I need to explain my story really for my own sake if just to write it down somewhere.

I had never known my father my entire life. I was raised by my grandmother and have always had issues as a child with my mother. Pretty much the only thing I have had to go on is a picture and a name and one day early 2000's I looked him up and found out he had passed away so I figured all issues had passed for me.

Then my mother passed away and I started revisiting old feelings of wanting to find out if this person who was mention was actually my real father. Finally earlier this year I made the step and directly looked for information regarding my paternity and found that I have 3 half sisters and one half brother on that side of the family.

I contacted the eldest sister ,and she agreed to have a sibling paternity test done with me We got the tests back that pretty much confirmed we were half siblings.

That was earlier this year, maybe around March. We haven't really spoken that much since then before September. In September she reached out to me because she was having some serious mental problems coping and dealing with where she lives and the people that had been around her that pretty much left her in a state of depression.

It pulled on me to help her out since she was needing someone and being the brother that she never knew, I felt I was at least obligated to do something, so I spent time with her through this entire past month. I helped her clean stuff up, helped her focus more on things she needed to do and just provided an adult presence for her to rely on. I am 37 and she is 29. I am married and she has a BF.

The GSA started almost immediately upon being around her for an extended period of time and she was the first to bring it up. I knew I was feeling it too but more confused than anything about the situation.

Anyways, without really going into more detail, it is a situation I am not sure what to do about. I have half brothers and sisters that I have been their brother all my life. I have met one of my other new half siblings and the GSA is not there with her at all.

She told me that if she let herself, she could easily fall head over heels in love with me, one that she knew she could never let go. I have already had those feelings very strongly and have to temper them daily. I feel she is pulling away from me and I feel hurt but also understanding because of our own personal lives yet I feel this stronge urge to still be around her. I will see her again this saturday evening and night and her BF will be there and everything so it will almost be an acting job for me to not show any emotion in that way. I'm sure she can keep her composure but it's almost like ripping my soul apart in ways yet I want her to be happy in her relationship.

I am so torn inside. I know that finding her was basically finding my father who I have never had in my life so the connection is extremely strong. She lost her father 10 years ago so I know I am a connection to a father that she lost. It is all so very strange and real and powerful. A love I know I could never let go of ,nor ever want to let go of, yet not being able to be with her or around her without feeling the pain.

The safest thing we can do is hug, and even around other people our hugs probably go on for way too long than they should. She even kisses me on the cheek in front of her BF. Which means nothing really to most people especially those between brother and sister, but it means so much more to me.

IDK if any of that makes sense. I know I needed to write it down.

10-03-2011, 02:47 PM	#1
Allenbird Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: North Carolina Posts: 15	My half-sister I guess I need to explain my story really for my own sake if just to write it down somewhere. I had never known my father my entire life. I was raised by my grandmother and have always had issues as a child with my mother. Pretty much the only thing I have had to go on is a picture and a name and one day early 2000's I looked him up and found out he had passed away so I figured all issues had passed for me. Then my mother passed away and I started revisiting old feelings of wanting to find out if this person who was mention was actually my real father. Finally earlier this year I made the step and directly looked for information regarding my paternity and found that I have 3 half sisters and one half brother on that side of the family. I contacted the eldest sister ,and she agreed to have a sibling paternity test done with me We got the tests back that pretty much confirmed we were half siblings. That was earlier this year, maybe around March. We haven't really spoken that much since then before September. In September she reached out to me because she was having some serious mental problems coping and dealing with where she lives and the people that had been around her that pretty much left her in a state of depression. It pulled on me to help her out since she was needing someone and being the brother that she never knew, I felt I was at least obligated to do something, so I spent time with her through this entire past month. I helped her clean stuff up, helped her focus more on things she needed to do and just provided an adult presence for her to rely on. I am 37 and she is 29. I am married and she has a BF. The GSA started almost immediately upon being around her for an extended period of time and she was the first to bring it up. I knew I was feeling it too but more confused than anything about the situation. Anyways, without really going into more detail, it is a situation I am not sure what to do about. I have half brothers and sisters that I have been their brother all my life. I have met one of my other new half siblings and the GSA is not there with her at all. She told me that if she let herself, she could easily fall head over heels in love with me, one that she knew she could never let go. I have already had those feelings very strongly and have to temper them daily. I feel she is pulling away from me and I feel hurt but also understanding because of our own personal lives yet I feel this stronge urge to still be around her. I will see her again this saturday evening and night and her BF will be there and everything so it will almost be an acting job for me to not show any emotion in that way. I'm sure she can keep her composure but it's almost like ripping my soul apart in ways yet I want her to be happy in her relationship. I am so torn inside. I know that finding her was basically finding my father who I have never had in my life so the connection is extremely strong. She lost her father 10 years ago so I know I am a connection to a father that she lost. It is all so very strange and real and powerful. A love I know I could never let go of ,nor ever want to let go of, yet not being able to be with her or around her without feeling the pain. The safest thing we can do is hug, and even around other people our hugs probably go on for way too long than they should. She even kisses me on the cheek in front of her BF. Which means nothing really to most people especially those between brother and sister, but it means so much more to me. IDK if any of that makes sense. I know I needed to write it down.