Whoa.......

[BarbGonyo]

To all of you who read this site.

I've been reading the last few days posts and want to speak again.

Please believe me all of you that I feel your pain, I know your pain and I see the stages that you are all going through.

I agree that we are all different and at different stages of GSA. Speaking for myself, I've run the gammet and the feelings are gone. Yes it may look as though I've become old and forgotten what beauty there is in sex and intimacy. I also remember the pain of broken relationships and losses.

My needs are not the same now and sometime as we grow older and have learned from lifes lessons, we want to pass things along to others saying look, we made it. It took years for my feelings to change and to let them go. It didn't happen the first year of our reunion or the tenth, it was there gnawing at me, being unfulfilled needing intimacy thinking that a sexual intimacy would fix it all.

I know many of you are going through these same feelings and are coming to this site for others to share their views and feelings.

If someone gives a view other than your own, do you think they are wrong and not being sympathetic? I would think the opposite. If someone is sharing their story and telling us that this is what worked for them over the long haul, why are we taking it personal as an attack and attacking back?

Because we are in pain.........and we think that there is a quick fix and that we resent someone telling us that this is how we survived. You don't have to take anyones advice.

You are not paying for it. This is all free to you. The purpose of us being in contact is to read the posts, good or bad in your estimations and weigh what everyone says.

The answers are in yourselves. When a person would suggest that the issue isn't to have sex with your relative, but to go back into the need for sex to find out why that would be your answer.

I feel the pain of a birthmother saying that she needs to give her son the sexual relationship he wants because he was deprived of her his whole life and now thinks the sexual relationship would be the cure because she wants to give him and herself their all. I've also seen those that have done this and have suffered more afterwards than while they were fighting their urges.

I don't ever hear much from any birthmothers who say they have had this type of relationship and it was wonderful and THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER'. I talk to them after this type of relationship where they are in more pain than before because one of them backs away from the relationship and the other one is suffering a loss again feeling more rejected than before.

I'm not anyones Spiritual advisor, or a person with all the answers, I'm like you just trying to get through life. I do feel that it is my gift in life to help all of you in anyway I can and I know that fighting back and forth is not the answer.

Learn from each other. Listen to all sides. Do the math. Find out who has been successful and ask them how long? If we all just agree with each other we won't survive and if we all fight amongst ourselves we won't learn a thing.

No one is telling you to never see each other again or have a lifelong relationship with each other. The warning is that the sexual part CAN end what you really want from each other.

In the documentary that I was in from the U.K. there are three stories.
Mine, A police officer from England who is in a sexual relationship with his sister, and a sibling couple in Spain who met and didn't know they were related. They have two children now.

They had promised me that it would be shown in the states but I've not seen it. A relative of mine claims he saw it at 2am on the Discovery Channel.

I recommend eveyone see it and possibly you could contact the Discovery Channel and ask for it to be shown at an hour when the world is awake to watch it.

It was titled "THE SHOCKING FAMILY SECRET'. It has a date on the tape of 10 06 04. It was filmed by September Films.

Possibly if there were enough requests for it to be seen they would air it.

I think it would show all sides of GSA to all of you.

Be kind to one another, we are not the enemy, we are the survivors.

Barb Gonyo
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