I need answers

05-23-2006, 01:36 PM

For those people who have persued a romantic with their relative and broke it off.

1. I need to know is it possible to get over it.

2. Have you been to establish a bond or friendship?

This is important to me, because if I am not going to have a relationship of any kind with my h/b then I'll settle for a sexual one.

aevus · 05-25-2006, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angel

For those people who have persued a romantic with their relative and broke it off.

1. I need to know is it possible to get over it.

2. Have you been to establish a bond or friendship?

This is important to me, because if I am not going to have a relationship of any kind with my h/b then I'll settle for a sexual one.

hey

i tried to broke off once, from the one I have always loved, but it didnt work. I tried my best staying apart, well, i havent seen him for 8 year and despite that, we were alwasy dreaming of each other. It took years till i realised that i just could not live without him. hey, i was beyong hell without him. So, the answer to your questions is in you. If u trully love someone, than u just cant break off.

MamaR · 05-25-2006, 06:55 PM

I disagree. I would answer YES to both of your questions. Do I still love my h/b? Yes, but not as a lover or romantically...I love him as a brother. Can a new bond be forged? Yes...we are doing that very thing and it could have happened a lot sooner if we had been a bit more courageous and talked about things. Obsessing is what makes the "romantic love" feelings hang on...wishing and wanting instead of dealing with the reality that this is NOT a good thing to do will keep the feelings of yearning and needing alive. You have to want the feelings to change..you have to be willing to let go of the fantasies. You have more control over your emotions than you think.

imafergie · 05-25-2006, 11:51 PM

righto!! You do need to want changes...either to get OUT of a gsa relationship OR to STAY in a gsa relationship. Some gsa relationships can end in tragedy of some sort but i'm not convinced that they all need to end. Some situations are very workable for whatever reason-self indulgence, petty wants or gee,maybe love really does matter!! I think that the SEXUAL part of gsa can be omitted in alot of cases...sometimes 2 people can love and be loved without being obsessed with sex. Seems that everyone opposed to gsa seems to be under the misconception that it is ALL about sex, sex and more sex...maybe it is for some BUT if sex is the only catalyst for ANY relationship (gsa or not) than perhaps you need to get out of said relationship! Sex is important in any relationship. With that said, if you make sex the single most important aspect of ANY relationship-YOU ARE SELF ABSORBED-NO DOUBT!!

05-23-2006, 01:36 PM	#1
Posts: n/a	I need answers For those people who have persued a romantic with their relative and broke it off. 1. I need to know is it possible to get over it. 2. Have you been to establish a bond or friendship? This is important to me, because if I am not going to have a relationship of any kind with my h/b then I'll settle for a sexual one.

05-25-2006, 11:51 PM	#4
imafergie Junior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: United States Posts: 6	you DO need to WANT the change righto!! You do need to want changes...either to get OUT of a gsa relationship OR to STAY in a gsa relationship. Some gsa relationships can end in tragedy of some sort but i'm not convinced that they all need to end. Some situations are very workable for whatever reason-self indulgence, petty wants or gee,maybe love really does matter!! I think that the SEXUAL part of gsa can be omitted in alot of cases...sometimes 2 people can love and be loved without being obsessed with sex. Seems that everyone opposed to gsa seems to be under the misconception that it is ALL about sex, sex and more sex...maybe it is for some BUT if sex is the only catalyst for ANY relationship (gsa or not) than perhaps you need to get out of said relationship! Sex is important in any relationship. With that said, if you make sex the single most important aspect of ANY relationship-YOU ARE SELF ABSORBED-NO DOUBT!! __________________ i am a fergie

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05-25-2006, 06:55 PM	#3
MamaR Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 55	I disagree. I would answer YES to both of your questions. Do I still love my h/b? Yes, but not as a lover or romantically...I love him as a brother. Can a new bond be forged? Yes...we are doing that very thing and it could have happened a lot sooner if we had been a bit more courageous and talked about things. Obsessing is what makes the "romantic love" feelings hang on...wishing and wanting instead of dealing with the reality that this is NOT a good thing to do will keep the feelings of yearning and needing alive. You have to want the feelings to change..you have to be willing to let go of the fantasies. You have more control over your emotions than you think.