update

bryon · 06-05-2006, 05:47 PM

Hi everyone, its sometimes hard to log on to this worthwhile site. I mentioned to Barbara that I am deeply saddened by those who try and use this site for other means, ie the post "free porno". You may have read my post "road to destruction" which is placed on the "site feedback" forum. If so I would just like to give you an update on my GSA situation. My sister and I made contact again a few days ago, the first contact in over a year. I must tell you that prior to this I was still continually obsessing about her. We e-mailed each other which was fine though impersonal. We made lots of references to each other as brother and sister which seemed to help. I must say though that the horrible empty feeling of loss and the sensation of being kicked in the stomach soon returned. We spoke briefly on the phone but we were both awkward with this. Don't ask me why as I still feel no remorse about what transpired between us. Is time a healer? Some days are better than others. I do know though that I would rather have her in my life as my sister than not at all. The suffering though is great but just writing this to share with those in a similar situation does seem to ease the pain. Take care Bryon.

MamaR · 06-06-2006, 10:22 AM

Bryon, it takes time and willingness, but it can get better and it does. You have to be willing to let go of the romantic fantasy and recognise the value of the real and normal brother/sister relationship. I think, if my half brother and I had been able to learn about this 38 years ago, we would have reconciled and had each other in our lives a lot sooner.

We are all different. I did feel badly about my behavior as did my brother. Once we faced the reality of what a mistake it was, we stopped justifying it to ourselves and had to work through the guilt. To me, acting on GSA is just wrong. It causes too much pain in family members and others to be justifiable.

If you can give up what you "want" for what you and your sister really need and what will be best for both of you and your family, then you will be more of a man and, ultimately, happier for it. Good luck.

bryon · 06-06-2006, 04:21 PM

Thanks MamaR, every little bit of advice and support helps me to navigate through this muddle. I am trying to let go of the romantic feelings I have for her and she does need a brother at this moment in her life as opposed to a lover. Perhaps the 'being kicked i n the stomach' feeling is a sign of guilt, who knows. She said that she experienced the same sensation. We do both feel totally rejected by each other in our attempt to salvage a brother/sister relationship. We no longer tell each other how much we love each other but we do use 'all my love' instead. I figure that the genuine users of this site fall into four categories: Those who are considering 'crossing the line', those who have crossed the line and found happiness, those who have crossed the line and found pain and misery, (I am in this class) and those who are trying to reconcile or have reconciled with a relative after an unsuccessful relationship with them but who am I to say. I wish them all happiness regardless of the situation that they find themselves in. Take care Bryon.

06-05-2006, 05:47 PM	#1
bryon Junior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: yukon Posts: 8	update Hi everyone, its sometimes hard to log on to this worthwhile site. I mentioned to Barbara that I am deeply saddened by those who try and use this site for other means, ie the post "free porno". You may have read my post "road to destruction" which is placed on the "site feedback" forum. If so I would just like to give you an update on my GSA situation. My sister and I made contact again a few days ago, the first contact in over a year. I must tell you that prior to this I was still continually obsessing about her. We e-mailed each other which was fine though impersonal. We made lots of references to each other as brother and sister which seemed to help. I must say though that the horrible empty feeling of loss and the sensation of being kicked in the stomach soon returned. We spoke briefly on the phone but we were both awkward with this. Don't ask me why as I still feel no remorse about what transpired between us. Is time a healer? Some days are better than others. I do know though that I would rather have her in my life as my sister than not at all. The suffering though is great but just writing this to share with those in a similar situation does seem to ease the pain. Take care Bryon.

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06-06-2006, 10:22 AM	#2
MamaR Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 55	Bryon, it takes time and willingness, but it can get better and it does. You have to be willing to let go of the romantic fantasy and recognise the value of the real and normal brother/sister relationship. I think, if my half brother and I had been able to learn about this 38 years ago, we would have reconciled and had each other in our lives a lot sooner. We are all different. I did feel badly about my behavior as did my brother. Once we faced the reality of what a mistake it was, we stopped justifying it to ourselves and had to work through the guilt. To me, acting on GSA is just wrong. It causes too much pain in family members and others to be justifiable. If you can give up what you "want" for what you and your sister really need and what will be best for both of you and your family, then you will be more of a man and, ultimately, happier for it. Good luck.

06-06-2006, 04:21 PM	#3
bryon Junior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: yukon Posts: 8	Thanks MamaR, every little bit of advice and support helps me to navigate through this muddle. I am trying to let go of the romantic feelings I have for her and she does need a brother at this moment in her life as opposed to a lover. Perhaps the 'being kicked i n the stomach' feeling is a sign of guilt, who knows. She said that she experienced the same sensation. We do both feel totally rejected by each other in our attempt to salvage a brother/sister relationship. We no longer tell each other how much we love each other but we do use 'all my love' instead. I figure that the genuine users of this site fall into four categories: Those who are considering 'crossing the line', those who have crossed the line and found happiness, those who have crossed the line and found pain and misery, (I am in this class) and those who are trying to reconcile or have reconciled with a relative after an unsuccessful relationship with them but who am I to say. I wish them all happiness regardless of the situation that they find themselves in. Take care Bryon.