A love I've never known, yet always felt.

[Leia]

Hi luvsbubby, you're like a breath of fresh air, glad you popped in
to prove we dont ALL go down the pan

[LovingBro]

In 1 week I will be with sis.... Alone.... She and I are on the same page, same book, same chapter.

Why has nobody written a manual for sibling GSA relationships? I love and adore her so much, it's hard to even conceive the words to express.

Does anyone have any positive advice?

[LovingBro]

to Hopeful

I am not sure I want anything to change. We are already overtly flirting, and have been for a while. I like it because I know she loves me unconditionally.

I just need the time with her. Yes, most of you will say, "he's already made up his mind" and "lost cause"... To all of you I say, yes I have and I am.

To touch the soul of a woman you completely love unconditionally is a precious thing for men. I don't think most men feel this, or ever will.

I can't speak for the women on this board, but if all you give is love, what could possibly be wrong with that with the exception of social norms?

If you think that loving someone.. anyone, like this is wrong, you can kiss my ass.

[Leia]

All i say is good luck, have fun, TALK, and whatever comes naturally for YOU TWO .
The positive you're after? well, its a case of, do i listen to others experiences, and go with expected logic, or listen to my heart, and my sisters and just see how it pans out.

i dont regret, wish anything different, or have any intention of stopping my relationship with my brother.
wild horses and all that.

There's one thing we notice time and time again, people say,
"refer to one another as sister/brother" it will help prevent gsa.
.."dont forget who you are" etc.
what they fail to realise, is that for US ,
i cant speak for everyone, but for us, it just makes us even closer.
we acknowledge frequently who we are and in our present lives it cant be avoidedeven if we wanted to, which we dont.
maybe people consider that sick and twisted, so be it.
but likewise, I dont give a monkeys who doesnt like it.
we're STILL waiting for someone we tell.. to say... OH GOD NO!

15 adults in our lives, know about us, not one, NOT ONE...has told us we should not be together, some have offered advice, some have questioned, some have absoluetely no care whatsoever,
We are treated as a couple, and the pros far outway the conns.

just my opinion and MY life, doesnt mean it works for everyone but there are ALWAYS two sides to a story/outcome and this is ours.

Good luck you.
I hope the fallout isnt too horrendous
people leave marriages all the time for other people, i get sick to death of hearing about others pain, we've ALL been there, its been done to me and with 3 shitty men behind in my quest for love evermore....I finally found what i was looking for.
I think leaving for someone you love MORE is EXACTLY the same as leaving for the proverbial younger woman, bloke next door or the person you meet online..and so on...affairs are going on worldwide, the statistics are huge..Mc'Divorces all over for any number of reasons, this is no different...my ONLY..ONLY gripe with gsa relationships is if one of the couple lead a double life sleeping with both partners..
the old one and the new one, make a decision and go with the one you want, dont leave one hanging in limbo...but again thats me,
I've been on every side of every possible fence throughout my life, from a childs veiw of broken marriage to the left wife, the wife leaving and the affair behind my back...
Other than a broken marriage, a marriage of convenience and no love lost, we caused minimal damage.
no more than any other wife/husband leaving the home.
and while we are happy and causing no harm to others, it stays that way.
people that need to know, will know,
people that dont, well there's no point telling.
bit of a tangent there, but felt like writing.

[Fie & John]

Hi there,

John is my 1 year younger halfbrother whom I never met until he was 19 and I was 20. We instantly fell in love but didn't act on it right there and then. Soon after our meeting, bad things started to happen in his life and i was getting married, got kids, the works. John had a rough time for other reasons than me...we lost contact...and here we are now, over 23 years later we met again last april 7. Needless to say....we fell in love again as of the very first meeting of our eyes.

We are luckily enough both without a partner so no one is hurt because of our love for each other. So now, we *do* act it out....but, living in The Netherlands, that is probably a little easier than over there in the USA.

What we feel cannot be described, don't need to on this forum either I believe. Everyone *knows* what we are experiencing. It's a love beyong measuring. Stronger, more belautiful, more magical than anything we have ever felt. This is forever. We are together as much as possible, people who know (quite a few already) only seem to be happy for us and even my 15 yo daughter finds it only all too logical and enjoys her new uncle's company because he is so much like mommy. And yes, she does know the truth...she knows we are siblings and lovers too and she doesn't care now and says she never will, as long as mommy is happy it's fine with her. That coming from a child/girl who ALWAYS fought whatever guy I came home with. She never ever liked any of my former partners. But this one, her own uncle, is COOL, she says. (and she's soooooo right!)

John and I intend to share the rest of our lives together, we will not let others judge and rule our lives.

We chose. For each other. For ever.

I love you to pieces John - I know you read this forum too :-)


PS We got married.....on the internet!!! :-) and the best part of it all is, that since I was legally adopted and therefor not formally kin to John, we COULD legally get married, if we should so decide :-)

[Leia]

Fie/Loving bro/Barb

All of you sparked something in me.

I too have had the three time partner syndrome..
two marriages, married men who had been divorced/once/twice.. step kids, all of it, very abusive, neglectful childhood
my kids have different dads and so on..just for a clearer picture.
History repeats?

i wonder if it has any relevance on why we did it? went for the physical as well as the emotional...and why now seems to be what we were looking for in a sibling?
although Barb correctly suggested that old loves are just like the new ones, people we thought we'd love forever...to some extent thats true, but to a greater extent, it was NOTHING like this time around

I've been running from relationships all my life, and i think the worst case scenario with my brother is that,
if like barb suggests, its just another relationship waiting to fall...
THAT worries me, my tolerance with men was at an all time low when we got together.
if we DO disagree on something, i DO run,
and i do try to ruin what is there.
(I withdraw and wait for the inevitable fallout) but it doesnt happen

In the begining no, i didn't

..but now, as the relationship progresses, I'm less tolerant? I think.

I've had some near defeatism with my brother, his adoption issues. genetic traits, who knows,
but sometimes he sets off triggers in me...or makes me angry...
my inner reaction is that of a sibling, not of a lover...make sense?
different issues in life make me react to him in differnet guises,

if its his health,job..life in general, i'm his lover, and react as such.

if its his temper, his anger (adoption issues) i react as a sister.

even jealousy of his upbringing , his life without/before me.
I cant bear it when he tells me of things he did as a kid, I feel angry that we didnt share those things. and i think THESE things are what taints our relationship...(very minor, but its there)


Sometimes, as any other couple,
every gsa realtionship is different and
like you,
I cannot understand the dynamics of a parent child scenario, (because i haven't lived it)
just like the Pa/Ch relationships couldn't grasp what the sibling ones feel like,
the different foundations of our feelings goes another route,

-as siblings we dont experience the guilt of making up to a an adult child, the fear of rejection from the parent etc.

(i'm only summising from what I've read )

I've been running away through the years, having kids with different men, living in hell, and meanwhile he was settling for second best,
a one, long time relationship with no real love.
doing what was expected of him,
submitting etc,
BUT
he had everything I ever wanted,
so my own anger comes from him complaining about what *I* consider a perfect past,
yet its not like that in his eyes,
and then i feel like he's behaving like a spoilt brat when he doesnt get his own way
(That term i used is a gross exaggeration!!)
but i'm trying to understand something thats going on here.

It seems where parent child have disagreements its because of rejection issues, fear of abandonment
(exactly like a kiddie being left at nursery for the first time!)

and where siblings argue, its because of jealousy..
(he has more fries than me!)

of course i've just made a random, minority generalisation..
but if we HAD been together always, as either parent child, brother sister, these would be normal feelings amongst us wouldnt they??

So, in all, what I'm trying to say from my long winded point of view is that


if we WERE to split, (cant see it) I know, in my heart, it wouldnt just be adios, no more relationship,goodbye

If it HAD to be,
JUST siblings. and no more,
I would be that,
I KNOW I would.

I also think, even though its not ALL a bed of roses
that if we did NOT, in fact argue constructivley, as any regular couple does..
I would worry even MORE...Life DOES carry on around you

..no matter how great the love, how perfect together you are,

no arguments would mean, no real relationship???

it doesn't matter the closeness, or how in tune we are, at the end of the day,
we are separate individuals,
and no one can be inside someone else's head.

and Fie I also have a 15 year old daughter who has hated any men in my life ...UNTIL my brother,
She has little respect for grown men because all of them have treated me like crap,
and one time, she asked his permission for something trivial,
it bowled me over,
becausue she never asks anyone anything accept ME,
i was amazed.
maybe its coincidence, i'm just waffling really.

Sorry about the verbal diahorrea, but something was eating at me, and I think I've sussed it.

We're actually HAVING sibling rivalry.
as WELL as being a couple

Fie & John stated "PS We got married.....on the internet!!! and the best part of it all is, that since I was legally adopted and therefor not formally kin to John, we COULD legally get married, if we should so decide"

Is this true?

I met my h/s 13 years ago when we were in our early 30s - it was instant and deep and incredible. We were together for 3 years, although never had sexual relations because we were not married. We finally parted and married other people. We have made contact again 10 years later and no marriage partners and the feelings are still as deep. If what 'Fie & John' says is true then that makes it a whole new ballgame. We are not legally related nor formally kin - we just share 50% DNA. I would love to marry her if possible.