GSA or not?

MP · 09-04-2006, 02:56 PM

Hello everyone.

My question practically is, do I have a GSA thing or is it just an incest thing?

I'm a male and I have this attraction to a female cousin, who is a year younger than me, that moved from another state. I pretty much didn't know she existed until she moved in here with her family. I believe that may be why I have an attraction to her.

It's almost been 2 years since then and I still have some attraction to her, as much as I hate to admit it. I haven't told her, as I'm very afraid to do so. I can't even act as my normal self around her. I'm always awkward, and I'm trying to have a normal relationship with her but I'm just having a very hard time with that. Part of me finds her too attractive to remain just friends with and the other really does just wants a friendship.

I have actually told someone else about this before, my mom, and well...that seemed to just make things worse. Mainly because she just talked all about religion, seeing as I'm not interested in any form of religion. She doesn't seem to be totally against it, but she doesn't really seem interested in helping, either.

Well...what sort of problem do I have?

Thanks for taking the time to read. I could provide more information if it's needed, I suppose.

MP · 09-05-2006, 09:05 PM

More than 40 views and no posts.

I wonder how bad this is...

BarbGonyo · 09-06-2006, 11:14 AM

Hello MP,

Sorry I didn't answer sooner but I've been preoccupied with other matters.

You asked how bad is this? I can only share with you what I know from experience with my family and others that write to me.

I do know that in some states it is not illegal to marry a cousin. Of course any time there is marriage with closer genetic connections there can be more chances of genetic problems in the children.

My mother is the product of a cousin marriage. She and her siblings, 3 other females are seemingly fine. She is 92 her sisters are all in their 80s. There seems to be a string of Alzheimers that they share. There are a lot of allergies and asthma in the family and the good part is there are a lot of artists.

As of this year we have had the 4th brain tumor show up in the family and MS.

Of course there are people who marry and do not have children for this reason or take a chance that all will be well.

If you are siblings there is even greater chances of close genetic ties causing problems. I understand that the problems aren't too far off than if you married a stranger.

However in your case, I don't know much about you as your story doesn't tell me how old you are or how old your cousin is. Are either of you married or are you still single and in school?

It is not uncommon to be attracted to a relative as we see similarities to ourselves that we find flattering. It sounds like your cousin does not share your feelings and is shying away from what you are feeling.

This could be due to her religious convictions or her feelings of taboo or she just doesn't feel the same way about you. If this is true, you are lucky my friend because if she felt the same it could lead you down a path of a lot more feelings that will cause pain than what you are feeling right now.

I know you are probably hoping someone will write to you and tell you to profess your love for her and all will be well and you will live happily ever after, but..........it would be rare.

My advice would be to consider her a cherished relative and friend and move on to someone else to find a life partner.

I wish you well and hope this has been useful to you.

Barb Gonyo

MP · 09-06-2006, 07:07 PM

Well, we're both still in high school. I'm 17 and she's 16.

I'm aware of the cousin marriage laws, as well, although that's really worth talking about right now. I'm not exactly sure what she feels as I haven't told her, but it is possible she suspects. I've asked her and she isn't exactly a religious girl so I really don't know how she'd act if she knew.

And I know that a happy ending is probably unlikely, furthering the cause of me not telling her of my problem.

I'd really like to have a normal relationship, but first I need to get these feelings out of the way.

I"m also wondering if this can be considered GSA or if it's just plain incest and me being perverse.

BarbGonyo · 09-07-2006, 08:27 AM

Hello again MP.

That is an interesting question, is it insest or GSA? I don't know if we can separate the two or give it a new catagory in your case.

I doubt if there are many people who have reached adulthood and not had strong feelings for a relative who is attractive and interesting and arouses our senses. But due to societies taboos, we usually move on knowing that this person is very tempting but not always the best choice for our lifetime partner. Having a physical attraction to someone is very difficult to deal with at any age.

Those with GSA are generally people who have been separated due to circumstances of adoption with longings to know their family member that they have lost. Upon meeting they come to the relationship with many obstacles of mixed emotions which are usually not attended to before they meet and get mixed into the bag of issues that they must deal with.

In your case of finding someone who you are related to and had not yet met, it is not unusual to be attracted to someone. If you think telling her and hoping she will agree to sharing an intimate relationship with you would be just the thing you need to get over your feelings of wanting her, I can warn you that will not stop what your are feeling and possibly make you want her more and know that you will not be making a lot of other people happy when they find out and they usually do.

My suggestion is to search out other females that may have her qualities and date a lot of people and keep her as your special cousin who you can remain friends with forever.

I know at your ages, it is hard to separate people into catagories of what I want and what I could have. I can't guarantee that it gets any easier as we get older.

I think it might be better to keep your feelings to yourself for now so you don't frighten her away.

I hope this is helpful to you even though not what you want to hear.

Barb Gonyo

09-04-2006, 02:56 PM	#1
MP Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 4	GSA or not? Hello everyone. My question practically is, do I have a GSA thing or is it just an incest thing? I'm a male and I have this attraction to a female cousin, who is a year younger than me, that moved from another state. I pretty much didn't know she existed until she moved in here with her family. I believe that may be why I have an attraction to her. It's almost been 2 years since then and I still have some attraction to her, as much as I hate to admit it. I haven't told her, as I'm very afraid to do so. I can't even act as my normal self around her. I'm always awkward, and I'm trying to have a normal relationship with her but I'm just having a very hard time with that. Part of me finds her too attractive to remain just friends with and the other really does just wants a friendship. I have actually told someone else about this before, my mom, and well...that seemed to just make things worse. Mainly because she just talked all about religion, seeing as I'm not interested in any form of religion. She doesn't seem to be totally against it, but she doesn't really seem interested in helping, either. Well...what sort of problem do I have? Thanks for taking the time to read. I could provide more information if it's needed, I suppose.

09-06-2006, 11:14 AM	#3
BarbGonyo Administrator Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 301	cousin relationships Hello MP, Sorry I didn't answer sooner but I've been preoccupied with other matters. You asked how bad is this? I can only share with you what I know from experience with my family and others that write to me. I do know that in some states it is not illegal to marry a cousin. Of course any time there is marriage with closer genetic connections there can be more chances of genetic problems in the children. My mother is the product of a cousin marriage. She and her siblings, 3 other females are seemingly fine. She is 92 her sisters are all in their 80s. There seems to be a string of Alzheimers that they share. There are a lot of allergies and asthma in the family and the good part is there are a lot of artists. As of this year we have had the 4th brain tumor show up in the family and MS. Of course there are people who marry and do not have children for this reason or take a chance that all will be well. If you are siblings there is even greater chances of close genetic ties causing problems. I understand that the problems aren't too far off than if you married a stranger. However in your case, I don't know much about you as your story doesn't tell me how old you are or how old your cousin is. Are either of you married or are you still single and in school? It is not uncommon to be attracted to a relative as we see similarities to ourselves that we find flattering. It sounds like your cousin does not share your feelings and is shying away from what you are feeling. This could be due to her religious convictions or her feelings of taboo or she just doesn't feel the same way about you. If this is true, you are lucky my friend because if she felt the same it could lead you down a path of a lot more feelings that will cause pain than what you are feeling right now. I know you are probably hoping someone will write to you and tell you to profess your love for her and all will be well and you will live happily ever after, but..........it would be rare. My advice would be to consider her a cherished relative and friend and move on to someone else to find a life partner. I wish you well and hope this has been useful to you. Barb Gonyo __________________ Barbara is the author of "I'm His Mother,but He's Not My Son" (formerly titled "The Forbidden Love, GSA". In the paper back edition of Forbidden Love, there are a total of 20 books left in that form. "The Forbidden Love Genetic Sexual Attraction is $15.00 plus postage and handling. Postage varies in places. In the U.S. postage comes to $2.31 Austrailia Fast Slower $8.40 one week $4.05- 4 weeks New I'm His Mother, but, He's Not My Son" will now be available electronically for your convience. The price is $15.00 check made out to Barbara Gonyo 906 Ioka Mt. Prospect, IL 60056 Upon receiving the order you will be given instructions on how to obtain the book. I hope this will be helpful to all of you who were having trouble getting the book. Barb Gonyo

09-07-2006, 08:27 AM	#5
BarbGonyo Administrator Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 301	insest or GSA Hello again MP. That is an interesting question, is it insest or GSA? I don't know if we can separate the two or give it a new catagory in your case. I doubt if there are many people who have reached adulthood and not had strong feelings for a relative who is attractive and interesting and arouses our senses. But due to societies taboos, we usually move on knowing that this person is very tempting but not always the best choice for our lifetime partner. Having a physical attraction to someone is very difficult to deal with at any age. Those with GSA are generally people who have been separated due to circumstances of adoption with longings to know their family member that they have lost. Upon meeting they come to the relationship with many obstacles of mixed emotions which are usually not attended to before they meet and get mixed into the bag of issues that they must deal with. In your case of finding someone who you are related to and had not yet met, it is not unusual to be attracted to someone. If you think telling her and hoping she will agree to sharing an intimate relationship with you would be just the thing you need to get over your feelings of wanting her, I can warn you that will not stop what your are feeling and possibly make you want her more and know that you will not be making a lot of other people happy when they find out and they usually do. My suggestion is to search out other females that may have her qualities and date a lot of people and keep her as your special cousin who you can remain friends with forever. I know at your ages, it is hard to separate people into catagories of what I want and what I could have. I can't guarantee that it gets any easier as we get older. I think it might be better to keep your feelings to yourself for now so you don't frighten her away. I hope this is helpful to you even though not what you want to hear. Barb Gonyo __________________ Barbara is the author of "I'm His Mother,but He's Not My Son" (formerly titled "The Forbidden Love, GSA". In the paper back edition of Forbidden Love, there are a total of 20 books left in that form. "The Forbidden Love Genetic Sexual Attraction is $15.00 plus postage and handling. Postage varies in places. In the U.S. postage comes to $2.31 Austrailia Fast Slower $8.40 one week $4.05- 4 weeks New I'm His Mother, but, He's Not My Son" will now be available electronically for your convience. The price is $15.00 check made out to Barbara Gonyo 906 Ioka Mt. Prospect, IL 60056 Upon receiving the order you will be given instructions on how to obtain the book. I hope this will be helpful to all of you who were having trouble getting the book. Barb Gonyo

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09-05-2006, 09:05 PM	#2
MP Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 4	More than 40 views and no posts. I wonder how bad this is...

09-06-2006, 07:07 PM	#4
MP Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 4	Well, we're both still in high school. I'm 17 and she's 16. I'm aware of the cousin marriage laws, as well, although that's really worth talking about right now. I'm not exactly sure what she feels as I haven't told her, but it is possible she suspects. I've asked her and she isn't exactly a religious girl so I really don't know how she'd act if she knew. And I know that a happy ending is probably unlikely, furthering the cause of me not telling her of my problem. I'd really like to have a normal relationship, but first I need to get these feelings out of the way. I"m also wondering if this can be considered GSA or if it's just plain incest and me being perverse.