Course Correction - Page 3

LostNTime · Yesterday, 05:19 PM

I'm sorry, I feel like I gave a generic answer. It was what I was "suppose" to say not to be attacked, but I'm going to say what a lot of us are thinking. 10 years!! 10 years, you two have been in this relationship, and have just ended it. There has to be more problems than we had withdrawn from the world, seems like you two would have noticed that like nine years ago. If you two have loved each other that long as a couple, why put yourselves through the loss of a partner? I don't understand at all. I'm scratching my head. I do tell people who are contemplating a GSA relationship, not to get into one, but this is a different situation. No, sex doen't have to be a part of a relationship, but if you to are both of a sexually active age, there will be sex. Maybe not with each other, but there will be sex. Why give up your partner that you have been commited to for so long, it just seems sad. Then, eventually, once you two start having sex with other people, you two will fall in love with the person you are sleeping with. Then what? 10 years wasted? There are two different relationships here. Both are worth saving. I'm not being a love sick puppy that just thinks GSA is the best thing since sugar was invented, I'm trying to be a friend who is actually looking at all sides of the picture. You love her, she love you. You two have put a lot into these past 10 years, and this is as sad as a divorce. A friendly divorce between two people is what this is like, and if neither one of you have done anything against the other one, truly love each other as partners, then it's just not right. Yes, other people get hurt, pretty sure that if that was going to happen, it already has. I'm just saying after 10 years you two should be past the iffy's and be thinking about your union or commitment to each other. Building on and not tearing down. If she was your wife, and you just posted ," My wife and I have decided to divorce because we have isolated ourselves to each other." The reason why I'm saying that is because a 10 year relationship, is your wife. Not to be something taken lightly. Sorry if I come off a little hard, but I do believe in commitment, and I call bull crap on this one. It sounds like you two haven't talked this all the way through, and looked at all sides of each other's hearts or the human ways. Noone is super human.

WorriedDad · Yesterday, 07:11 PM

lostntime,

The problem is, a husband and wife don't have to hide their relationship. they don't have to constantly worry about saying or doing the wrong thing around the wrong person. A husband and wife can't be prosecuted just for being in the relationship. I am sure it takes it's toll and Rollingrocker doesn't seem like the kind of person that would make a rash decision. I am guessing that 10 years of the stress has finally worn them down. In the world of GSA, they stayed together as a couple way longer then most. I have had several PM from other, non-active members that were in 10+ year GSA relationships and the stress and the hiding and the desire to be in a "Normal" relationship grinds on them day after day, year after year.
The very nature of GSA requires a lot of,,, discretion in what we post, heck I am not even the one in a GSA but I still have to be very careful what I post. My point is that I am sure there are many things that brought rocker and his sister to this decision, thinks that the rest of us do not, and need not know. what is important is that they have made a choice and we should respect that, and offer our support during what must be a very difficult time for them both.

Please don't take this as a "Scolding" I am just offering it as an explanation.

cedarforest · Yesterday, 09:12 PM

lostntime,
It's unfortunate that you posted an insincere post that you were "supposed" to say, then felt you must come back & set the record straight. Saying what you really mean, or staying out of someone's long thought out personal decisions, without trying to force our agendas might eliminate that, in the future.

I, too, have an agenda, & it's plain to see from my posts, but I don't think you will ever see me questioning someone as you have rollingrocker. I've had many "exchanges", that were invited or welcomed. On many of those occasions, people have used the "J" word as a response to me. The dreaded "J" word is judgemental. If you weren't being judgemental with your response, even calling it "bull crap", I'd like to know what qualifies? I have little doubt you will deny it, but your words are your words. I've never gone after someone who's made a decision that's been decided for the "best welfare" of all concerned. If you view all or any of rollingrockers posts, you can only conclude that he is a VERY responsible person.

As WD said, this isn't "scolding", but it is a frank observation, that I feel strongly about. Why not leave rollingrocker & his beloved alone & trust that he has done what he KNOWS is right for them. As WD said, they, & only they, have all the details of what's going on in their lives. I have a hunch if rollingrocker was determined to continue the relationship, there would have been no outcry from you (nor ME!!).--cedarforest

LostNTime · Yesterday, 10:51 PM

You are right as for me questioning, and wondering. You are also right that the stress can wear and tear at your subconcious, and I shouldn't have said some of the things I should have said. However, you and I also know that neither one of them probably don't have anyone to talk to about this, and they can't air their fustrations to anyone. As a friend, a true friend, would ask, are you sure this is what you want? Think long and hard about it. It's not like this was a short term relationship. I know for myself leaving my husband of 15 years took long and hard thought. As a matter of fact, it took the last 5 years of our 15 year marriage. As far as being secret, yes there are things that you have to be secret about, but one isn't saying I love you to your kin in public, or a hug, holding hands, or a kiss on the cheek. I know that he was posting about their relationship being strong not to long ago, and now, they have come to this point. It is very sad. Yes, I do stand by my words that a relationship that can't be bound by a marriage license, and finds a way to stay is a marriage. For years couples that are biracial, homosexual, mentally challenged in some states, and of genetically descent couldn't marry. Two of them have gained their right, the others haven't. However, none the less, they were couples who have come to depend, love, and respect each other. I am so sorry for the both of them, and wish them the best.

Yesterday, 07:11 PM	#22
WorriedDad Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 223	lostntime, The problem is, a husband and wife don't have to hide their relationship. they don't have to constantly worry about saying or doing the wrong thing around the wrong person. A husband and wife can't be prosecuted just for being in the relationship. I am sure it takes it's toll and Rollingrocker doesn't seem like the kind of person that would make a rash decision. I am guessing that 10 years of the stress has finally worn them down. In the world of GSA, they stayed together as a couple way longer then most. I have had several PM from other, non-active members that were in 10+ year GSA relationships and the stress and the hiding and the desire to be in a "Normal" relationship grinds on them day after day, year after year. The very nature of GSA requires a lot of,,, discretion in what we post, heck I am not even the one in a GSA but I still have to be very careful what I post. My point is that I am sure there are many things that brought rocker and his sister to this decision, thinks that the rest of us do not, and need not know. what is important is that they have made a choice and we should respect that, and offer our support during what must be a very difficult time for them both. Please don't take this as a "Scolding" I am just offering it as an explanation. __________________ !!!!!!! PLEASE READ OUR HOME PAGE !!!!!!!! / Last edited by WorriedDad : Yesterday at 07:14 PM.

Yesterday, 09:12 PM	#23
cedarforest Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 358	lostntime, It's unfortunate that you posted an insincere post that you were "supposed" to say, then felt you must come back & set the record straight. Saying what you really mean, or staying out of someone's long thought out personal decisions, without trying to force our agendas might eliminate that, in the future. I, too, have an agenda, & it's plain to see from my posts, but I don't think you will ever see me questioning someone as you have rollingrocker. I've had many "exchanges", that were invited or welcomed. On many of those occasions, people have used the "J" word as a response to me. The dreaded "J" word is judgemental. If you weren't being judgemental with your response, even calling it "bull crap", I'd like to know what qualifies? I have little doubt you will deny it, but your words are your words. I've never gone after someone who's made a decision that's been decided for the "best welfare" of all concerned. If you view all or any of rollingrockers posts, you can only conclude that he is a VERY responsible person. As WD said, this isn't "scolding", but it is a frank observation, that I feel strongly about. Why not leave rollingrocker & his beloved alone & trust that he has done what he KNOWS is right for them. As WD said, they, & only they, have all the details of what's going on in their lives. I have a hunch if rollingrocker was determined to continue the relationship, there would have been no outcry from you (nor ME!!).--cedarforest __________________ PLEASE READ our HOME PAGE /

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Yesterday, 05:19 PM	#21
LostNTime Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 151	I'm sorry, I feel like I gave a generic answer. It was what I was "suppose" to say not to be attacked, but I'm going to say what a lot of us are thinking. 10 years!! 10 years, you two have been in this relationship, and have just ended it. There has to be more problems than we had withdrawn from the world, seems like you two would have noticed that like nine years ago. If you two have loved each other that long as a couple, why put yourselves through the loss of a partner? I don't understand at all. I'm scratching my head. I do tell people who are contemplating a GSA relationship, not to get into one, but this is a different situation. No, sex doen't have to be a part of a relationship, but if you to are both of a sexually active age, there will be sex. Maybe not with each other, but there will be sex. Why give up your partner that you have been commited to for so long, it just seems sad. Then, eventually, once you two start having sex with other people, you two will fall in love with the person you are sleeping with. Then what? 10 years wasted? There are two different relationships here. Both are worth saving. I'm not being a love sick puppy that just thinks GSA is the best thing since sugar was invented, I'm trying to be a friend who is actually looking at all sides of the picture. You love her, she love you. You two have put a lot into these past 10 years, and this is as sad as a divorce. A friendly divorce between two people is what this is like, and if neither one of you have done anything against the other one, truly love each other as partners, then it's just not right. Yes, other people get hurt, pretty sure that if that was going to happen, it already has. I'm just saying after 10 years you two should be past the iffy's and be thinking about your union or commitment to each other. Building on and not tearing down. If she was your wife, and you just posted ," My wife and I have decided to divorce because we have isolated ourselves to each other." The reason why I'm saying that is because a 10 year relationship, is your wife. Not to be something taken lightly. Sorry if I come off a little hard, but I do believe in commitment, and I call bull crap on this one. It sounds like you two haven't talked this all the way through, and looked at all sides of each other's hearts or the human ways. Noone is super human.

Yesterday, 10:51 PM	#24
LostNTime Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 151	You are right as for me questioning, and wondering. You are also right that the stress can wear and tear at your subconcious, and I shouldn't have said some of the things I should have said. However, you and I also know that neither one of them probably don't have anyone to talk to about this, and they can't air their fustrations to anyone. As a friend, a true friend, would ask, are you sure this is what you want? Think long and hard about it. It's not like this was a short term relationship. I know for myself leaving my husband of 15 years took long and hard thought. As a matter of fact, it took the last 5 years of our 15 year marriage. As far as being secret, yes there are things that you have to be secret about, but one isn't saying I love you to your kin in public, or a hug, holding hands, or a kiss on the cheek. I know that he was posting about their relationship being strong not to long ago, and now, they have come to this point. It is very sad. Yes, I do stand by my words that a relationship that can't be bound by a marriage license, and finds a way to stay is a marriage. For years couples that are biracial, homosexual, mentally challenged in some states, and of genetically descent couldn't marry. Two of them have gained their right, the others haven't. However, none the less, they were couples who have come to depend, love, and respect each other. I am so sorry for the both of them, and wish them the best.