Forbidden love - Father and Daughter

[Banan]

A Australian couple fall in love, father and daughter marry and get a daughter together

http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/s...forbidden-love

[cedarforest]

Yes, we know them (I'm assuming he's speaking of Jenny & her father). Jenny is a member & posts here.--cedarforest

[Vin Rohm]

Yes....she goes by the handle "Communityawareness" on this board. Did you have a point? As the new kid on the block, do realize that you aren't giving us anything new. Why are you here Banan?

[communityawareness]

I am here if you have any questions.

[willitstop]

I need guidance.... me and my dad, it's complicated, we've been in some sort of relationship for 2 years, I don't even like him sometimes but I don't know how to stop, he is madly in love with me and quite forceful with it. I don't even know if I really love him that way or just want some sort of relationship with him so kind of 'put up' with it. I'm 30 and just want to get on with my life and meet that special person and settle down, not with my father! as that's not what I want. It's making me go crazy as I don't know how to cut him out of my life again, he's always so nice to me and it makes it hard. I told my half sister that he has flirted and wooed me and that we kissed and touched before but not that we've had sex, I was needing to air my thoughts to someone who knows him, but think it was a mistake now, she is not pleased with me now for falling for it and she hates him anyway for being a crap father to her also. What should I do with this man, my father, any ideas?

[myshadow]

Hello Dear ,

It sounds like you need a break.
Maby now would be a good time to take one?
Tell him you need some time apart to think about things.

If he really loves and cares for you, He will give you the time.

It doesn't have to be forever, just enough time to re-evaluate
your life as it is right now and plan what you want for the future.

It's a hard, hard thing to do, but once you do it, I bet you will feel like
a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Once you do it, you can start focusing on whats important in your life
~YOU~

[Red.String.of.Fate]

Willitstop,

Does he live with you? Do you depend him on any financial way? Does he have some possessional/legal hold over you?

These are all situation which make it hard to cut him out.

If not, then for a while distance yourself.
Do not answer all his calls immediately, when you talk talk about marriadge, other guys and such and express how you would also like that, and give slow hints. Do not remain alone with him, and always meet in public places.

If he cares for you he will get the picture.

If he tries to force himself on you, than a clean break is the only way to go. At least until he realizes this is what you truly want and need.

All the best!

[willitstop]

Thanks guys, I don't live with him infact we live in different countries. It's the constant phone calls and text messages that are difficult. It's hard because sometimes I feel I love him so much but I hate what I am doing because of him. I made the mistake of telling my half sister why we talk so much, I didn't say we had sex but that flirting happened and kissing and touching and am now regretting telling her because she doesn't want to know, I just need to tell somone and thought maybe she would understand the constant contact. Seems like anyone not involved in GSA doesn't understand, that's if this is GSA, is it? I have told him before I want to get married and settle down with someone he says he wants me to, but when I get close to another man he is so jealous and emotionally blackmails with things. He has no hold over me at all financially. I just need to try and distance myself, why do I find it so hard if in some ways I dislike him?. soooooo confused..

[art4me]

Originally Posted by willitstop

I just need to try and distance myself, why do I find it so hard if in some ways I dislike him?. soooooo confused..

Welcome here. I am glad you found us and are braving your way to explore this relationship, it's impact on you, and where you would like to set sail for your future.

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin

I wonder, what has happen this week to have you begin to right your story here? Anything your dad said or didn't say? Or became interested with another man?

There will come a time when the risk to remain tight in a bud.... (or the risk to stay in a relationship with your father) will be more painful than the risk it will take to blossom (or leave the sexual, romantic relationship.)

While I was looking for this quote for you, which is one of my favorites, I just put two and two together who Anais Nin is. I was reading about her life story a week ago, and when I was seeking this quote for you, I was wowed, that this is the women I have been reading about.

Anais Nin had an incestuous relationship with her father. He divorced and left the family when she was 7 yrs. old. They reunited when she was an adult. So not totally GSA. They had an incestuous upon the reunion.

"(Anais husband) felt that her father was a violent and paternalistic man who manipulated her feelings in a completely selfish way. Anaïs was now 30 but she had a desperate need for her father’s approval and he responded by violating her trust, insisting that she attend to his needs before there be any thought of what would be right for her."

So her quote can be supportive to us daughter's seeking a way out.

I experience GSA with my dad and have recently decided to slow down contact with him so I can become healthier mentally and spiritually again.

[willitstop]

He says he would rather die than not speak to me! The emotional blackmail, I don't know what to do....