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Old 10-07-2011, 10:37 AM   #11
cedarforest
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Your words "emotional blackmail", shows that you see it for exactly what it is. IMO, there's only one SANE thing to do. Get yourself healthy, by doing the difficult work necessary. THEN, if he chooses to get healthy himself, there's a healthy person to guide him. The blind can not lead the blind, without constantly falling. There are those on this site that will be happy to give you advice on what has helped them return to a healthy state. Best wishes.--cedarforest
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Old 10-07-2011, 11:48 AM   #12
willitstop
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So you mean to cut him out my my life? What if he does the unthinkable?!
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Old 10-07-2011, 12:34 PM   #13
Vin Rohm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willitstop View Post
So you mean to cut him out my my life? What if he does the unthinkable?!
You ARE NOT responsible for anyone's actions but your own. Emotional blackmail can only be escaped by walking away; by letting them to themselves to carry out the threats they made. Once he realizes that that tactic doesn't work on you, he'll stop using it.
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Old 10-07-2011, 03:43 PM   #14
raahp
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Vin's right, but its much easier to say than do. I am in a very similar situation. A father who manipulates me when I start to pull away romantically. I'm starting to stand on my own two feet. PM me if you want to chat!
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Old 10-07-2011, 03:57 PM   #15
willitstop
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I agree to with Vin, I have PM'd you Raahp, thanks.
Hard when you feel you love them too in some ways :0/
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Old 10-08-2011, 04:16 AM   #16
Vin Rohm
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I was married to an emotional blackmailer for 32 years. Funny, when I walked none of her threats on her own life ever came true...the threats on mine were tried but without success.
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Old 10-08-2011, 11:45 AM   #17
willitstop
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They usually are empty threats I know, oh I am feeling like I can never stop contact with him, I like talking to him and knowing what my family are doing I don't have much going on in my life here right now, I want to go to Italy to see him and my half sister but I can't face her after telling her a bit about this. She doesn't want to see us together, but she speaks no english so I need him there. ahhhhhhh why is this so complicated.....?
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Old 10-08-2011, 12:09 PM   #18
Jump135
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I am trying to do the same thing. I like what art4me wrote in another thread:

"Remind yourself, that you are unique and a special individual. You complete yourself. You are whole."

"Find beauty in time alone with yourself."

"Use this time in your life to do something fantastic and new. Start a new hobby, join a new group or organization, get a job, anything that will allow you to submerge yourself into new relationships."
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Old 10-11-2011, 07:09 AM   #19
raone32
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Did you have a point? As the new kid on the block, do realize that you aren't giving us anything new. Why are you here Banan?


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Old 10-11-2011, 08:18 AM   #20
willitstop
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Who me? I am on here to get advice and offload.
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