a message for those on the outsde

[vicki]

Hello everyone
It's been a long time since I was last on this site, but dropped by today to look in after the subject of GSA raised its ugly head yet again.

For those of you who don't know me, a brief history:
was with my h/b for 13 years, then we split, now 2 years on we're good (totally platonic) friends.
I am now just embarking upon a new relationship with a wonderful man and earlier today I finally told him my whole GSA story....
How did he take it?
Calm, quiet contemplation.. And I fear the jury is still out on that one...

But this posting is not about me or my own personal situation, this was a message to all of you. particularly those who are looking at this from the outside.
The relatives and partners who have just been told your loved ones are going through GSA.

You may have been led to this site by them in an attempt to help you understand, you may have led yourself here, but in either case, what is important is that you are reading these postings and so you must at least want to try and make sense of it.

Well, this posting is for you.
You are the ones on the outside who feel the anger and guilt, the fear for your loved one and the secret repulsion you may feel after they have told you.
Was it your fault this happened? No.
Can you draw them away from it?
No.
Can you protect them from it?
Again I am afraid No.

What these loved ones need is for you to hold them tight and simply say "thank you for telling me, that must have taken so much strength, I can't begin to understand what you're going through but I love you and I will help in any way I can"

These loved ones are terrified, confused, guilt ridden and so so ashamed of how they feel.
The self repulsion and fear GSE carries, shows no mercy.

So please... If you can, put your own fears on hold for a time as they need your strength right now.
Reassure them that they are NOT the sick perverted animals they think they are, they are wonderful beautiful human beings who are simply suffering the consequences of mixed emotional signals and as such, they need your love, support and care.

And lastly for those of you going through GSA yourselves;
allow these loved ones to ask all the questions they need to, as without your answers, they may struggle to fully understand your situation.

V
Xxxxxxx

[art4me]

Thank you Vicki, Well stated. I am sure this post will touch someone looking for support for a loved one. Great way to pay it forward.

[Amongthestars]

The POWER of patience, understanding and support from those who care about you can never be underestimated.

It rallies...

Inner strength
Guidance
Closer ties
Rounds out those "sharp, painful edges"
Relief
Sanity

If only...

Foresight were also 20/20
It didn't potentially damage current relationships and opinions to share such info
It were easier to disclose that info on yourself

Thanks for the message to the loving support group who also go through so much during these trials. It touches everyone and the burden is immense and lifelong.

Just because someone is "in love" certainly doesn't mean they are happy.

GSA is nature's dirty trick.