just wondering....

[lfmor]

Since GSA is a "condition" should we all try to overcome it and move on? Or, should we let our hearts win and fight the taboo that has been given?

[Red]

Personally I don't see our relationship as a "condition". As far as I am concerned, I am in a relationship with a man that I love - nothing more and nothing less. Some cruel twist of fate has caused this to be with my brother, but I came to terms with this a long time ago.

[lfmor]

Thanks for your reply red...I feel the same way. I love him with all my heart and can see us living happily together for the rest of my life. It's hard for me because right now I'm in a situation where my family does not understand what is going on and they are saying it's either him or me. Not really fair, but it's what I have to deal with. Thanks for your comment though...I'm so happy there are other people like me!

[Red]

I believe there are far more people like us than anyone knows. We only recently "came clean" to our family and although I'm sure they'd be happier if we weren't in a relationship, they've had to accept that it will continue whatever they think. This kind of relationship is certainly not easy but it is so worthwhile. I wish you all the very best and feel free to pm me if you want to chat at any point.

Red xx

[mar]

Dear Ifmor,
For what it is worth I think that it is not nice that your family issued you an "ultimatum" like you indicated.... by saying that it is either them or him shows that you can be part of the family as long as you do what they say. I experienced the same thing and felt that it is my life to live as I choose. You may find in time that some members of your family will accept you for who you are.....hope it works out for you ok.
mar

[lfmor]

Yeah, I agree it is completely not fair to me or my hb. It is my side of the family who is having all the issues and they are dragging him into a tough situation. They have threatened to put us both in jail...some family huh? You're right though, it's my life and I need to stop living for them and live for myself. It's just hard because they have been here all my life and I love them all very much. I feel like if they were in the same situation as me, I would be there no matter what. They say they are looking out for my best interest, however, it is only theirs that they are looking out for. They don't want to have to explain to people why I am with the person I am. It's unfortunate that society and my family are forcing me to make such a hard decision.

**Thanks for your reply Mar. You've made me feel a lot better.

[Victor]

Originally Posted by lfmor

Since GSA is a "condition" should we all try to overcome it and move on? Or, should we let our hearts win and fight the taboo that has been given?

GSA is hardly a "condition". All humans (all animals) are attracted to others who share their own physical attributes. We mate "assortively", looking for others who have our same looks, smell, even sounds and behaviors. The closer the match, the more powerful that genetic sexual attraction. Under "normal" circumstances, living with our siblings and parents imprints on our psyches what has been called the Westermarck Effect, which seems to turn off our genetic sexual attraction for those who live in our close proximity for about six years of our prepubesent lives.

In the case of everyone here who has found themselves unusually sexually attracted to someone of their immediate family, there has been a marked separation over a long period of time which prevented in us the imprinting (Westermarck Effect) that blocks that attraction.

In truth, the Westermarck Effect is a "conditioning" that we don't have for the family members we are now genetically attracted to. It's not that we have a "condition" but that we don't have a condition.

Vic

[lfmor]

I don't think it is a condition either...I had just been reading about it (I never knew there was actually other people going through the same thing as me. I kinda thought there might be but wasn't sure), but anyways....Some of the things I read made it sound as though it wasn't just falling in love with someone. I don't know...I didn't mean to offend anyone with the use of that word.

[Victor]

Originally Posted by lfmor

I don't think it is a condition either...I had just been reading about it (I never knew there was actually other people going through the same thing as me. I kinda thought there might be but wasn't sure), but anyways....Some of the things I read made it sound as though it wasn't just falling in love with someone. I don't know...I didn't mean to offend anyone with the use of that word.

Actually, "falling in love" is EXACTLY how I first described it. I felt it once before as a teen in my first hard crush. This time it was even more intense than that first time, or any other time in my whole life. But that's the only phrase that adequately describes the sensation.