What is happening to me/us?

ibaharleyguy · 11-23-2007, 09:02 PM

Hi, I'm brand new to this web site...and to GSA...and my feelings towards my half sister. First of all, I'm glad there is a place to vent my feelings with others that share similar situations. To begin (and I'll try to keep this condensed as much as possible) I am the oldest and only boy of all my siblings. I have two full sisters and seven half sisters. The youngest of my half sisters (we share the same father) is the subject of my story. She is nearly 20 years younger than me. She was born after I had left home and joined the Navy. Having never grown up with her and just occassional or sparatic contact through out the years, I never felt anything toward her. After all....she's my sister! She lives about 600 miles from me and we talked on the phone from time to time...just about stuff. Then one day, she said that she wanted to stop in and see me while visiting other family members. That was last April 2007. From this point on... I don't know what has happened! From the moment I saw her (hadn't seen her in a several years), my life hasn't been the same. She looked absolutely stunning! After our short visit....I couldn't stop thinking about her. Yes... feeling guilty and confused as to these uncontrollable thoughts I was experiencing. Soon after,our phone calls became more and more frequent.... and a bit more personal. Always ending our conversations with "I love you". It didn't take long before I realized that I was falling in love with her.....and she with me.
She came to visit me a couple months ago and we spent the whole day together...just her and I. Riding the Harley, going to dinner...holding hands....dancing...talking...hugging...looking deeply into each others eyes....and that night, that we crossed the line with each other. We have since spent more time together. But like others...we are careful not to let this get out. We both have decided that there is no way that we are going to live our lives without each other. It's still in the beginning stages, but it's diffucult to find the words that best describe my deep, deep heart felt love for her. Why did we fall so crazy in love with each other??? We've asked each other this many times...and have just come to except it....and enjoy it. I can't imagine my life without her! If there is such a thing as a soul mate.... then we are living examples of it. Never have I loved so intensely. Is it because she's my sister??.... What if I had met this same beautiful woman in Walmart... would our feelings be nearly as electrifying? I know this... we both realize the reprocussions of telling the world that we are hopelessly and deliouriously in love with each other....and are more than willing to face the consequences. Besides... what choice do we have......how do you stop loving someone? Love cannot be directed....but rather.... love directs us! Is this GSA? I don't know....but I do know how much in love we both are, and that we want to spend the rest of our lives together.

osiris · 11-24-2007, 02:21 AM

Hey Harley Guy.

Wow, your story could practically be my story, except I was Army, not Navy, and, well, I don't ride a Harley, more's the pity.

But yeah, that's just how it happened. And now, nothing else matters but her, right? Not what the rest of the family, your friends, or the world thinks, right? You'd give up everything else just to be with her, right? Yeah. That's the way it is.

To understand why it happened, you have to understand a bit about developmental biology. Normally, people growing up together from early childhood are averse to selecting each other as potential sexual partners. This is called the Westermarck effect, and it's the reason not only for incest aversion in functional families, but also for children in Israeli kibbutz communes failing to marry one another when they reach adulthood.

In your case, my case, and the case of nearly everyone else on this site, something happened that prevented the normal Westermarck imprinting. Usually it's separation due to adoption or divorce, or in my case I left home before my half-sister was born. Reunited as adults, and unhindered by the Westermarck effect, we view this person as a legitimate potential mate, one which, by the way, is extremely similar to ourselves both physically and emotionally. Who hasn't ever wondered what it would be like to make love to an opposite-sex version of themselves? Well, this is as close as it gets.

It's hard putting what you're feeling and experiencing into words, because English just doesn't have the words for it. We have the word "incest," which I don't like because it pushes too many people's disgust buttons. Not to mention that "incest" is against the law in every state in the United States. The law is stupid, but that's beside the point.

We also, thanks to Barb Gonyo, have the term Genetic Sexual Attraction, which is what those blue letters in the upper left of this page stand for. However, I'm not completely happy with that term, either, for two reasons.

First, I believe that all attraction is both sexual in nature and genetically determined, so experiencing "genetic sexual attraction" is nothing special. Everyone who is attracted to anyone technically experiences GSA.

Second, I also believe that what we are experiencing is far deeper and more complicated than simple sexual attraction. Sexual attraction can be controlled, and it can eventually fade. The feelings between you and your sister, if they are genuine and mutual, are probably impossible for either of you to ignore or control, and will probably never completely go away.

English doesn't have the right word, but the Ancient Persian language does. It's a bit hard to pronounce, but it's the best word we have. The word is xvetokdas (hveh-TOKE-dass), which can be roughly translated as "the holy union of close kin".

The Zoroastrians believed that the first man and woman on earth were twin brother and sister, and that the entire human race came about as a result of xvetokdas. Marriages between brother and sister, mother and son, and father and daughter were not only allowed, but encouraged, as this was viewed as the highest form of love possible.

In my case, having fallen completely and inescapably in love with my own little sister, I can tell you that the old Zoroastrians were probably right.

Welcome, brother.

ibaharleyguy · 11-28-2007, 04:15 AM

Hi Osiris.... just a quick note here before leaving for work to say "thankyou" for your response. So ironic, that I was so intriqued by your story that, I had read your "post" even before I had written mine....and was so taken by the similarities that I told my h/s to read it too! (She still lives 600 miles away but that's all about to change). The other day, her and I were reading your response together..... her on her 'puter, and me on mine. You seem very knowlegable on this subject and have done lots of research. I find it, not only refreshing to find someone to share my feelings of (gsa??)with... but also theraputic. When I have time, I'll let fill you in on where this is all leading to. Again, thank you for your interest and response. Gotta' go...
Ibaharleyguy.

11-23-2007, 09:02 PM	#1
ibaharleyguy Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: N.E. Ohio Posts: 2	What is happening to me/us? Hi, I'm brand new to this web site...and to GSA...and my feelings towards my half sister. First of all, I'm glad there is a place to vent my feelings with others that share similar situations. To begin (and I'll try to keep this condensed as much as possible) I am the oldest and only boy of all my siblings. I have two full sisters and seven half sisters. The youngest of my half sisters (we share the same father) is the subject of my story. She is nearly 20 years younger than me. She was born after I had left home and joined the Navy. Having never grown up with her and just occassional or sparatic contact through out the years, I never felt anything toward her. After all....she's my sister! She lives about 600 miles from me and we talked on the phone from time to time...just about stuff. Then one day, she said that she wanted to stop in and see me while visiting other family members. That was last April 2007. From this point on... I don't know what has happened! From the moment I saw her (hadn't seen her in a several years), my life hasn't been the same. She looked absolutely stunning! After our short visit....I couldn't stop thinking about her. Yes... feeling guilty and confused as to these uncontrollable thoughts I was experiencing. Soon after,our phone calls became more and more frequent.... and a bit more personal. Always ending our conversations with "I love you". It didn't take long before I realized that I was falling in love with her.....and she with me. She came to visit me a couple months ago and we spent the whole day together...just her and I. Riding the Harley, going to dinner...holding hands....dancing...talking...hugging...looking deeply into each others eyes....and that night, that we crossed the line with each other. We have since spent more time together. But like others...we are careful not to let this get out. We both have decided that there is no way that we are going to live our lives without each other. It's still in the beginning stages, but it's diffucult to find the words that best describe my deep, deep heart felt love for her. Why did we fall so crazy in love with each other??? We've asked each other this many times...and have just come to except it....and enjoy it. I can't imagine my life without her! If there is such a thing as a soul mate.... then we are living examples of it. Never have I loved so intensely. Is it because she's my sister??.... What if I had met this same beautiful woman in Walmart... would our feelings be nearly as electrifying? I know this... we both realize the reprocussions of telling the world that we are hopelessly and deliouriously in love with each other....and are more than willing to face the consequences. Besides... what choice do we have......how do you stop loving someone? Love cannot be directed....but rather.... love directs us! Is this GSA? I don't know....but I do know how much in love we both are, and that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Last edited by ibaharleyguy : 11-23-2007 at 09:35 PM. Reason: Spelling check

11-24-2007, 02:21 AM	#2
osiris Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 43	Welcome to the club Hey Harley Guy. Wow, your story could practically be my story, except I was Army, not Navy, and, well, I don't ride a Harley, more's the pity. But yeah, that's just how it happened. And now, nothing else matters but her, right? Not what the rest of the family, your friends, or the world thinks, right? You'd give up everything else just to be with her, right? Yeah. That's the way it is. To understand why it happened, you have to understand a bit about developmental biology. Normally, people growing up together from early childhood are averse to selecting each other as potential sexual partners. This is called the Westermarck effect, and it's the reason not only for incest aversion in functional families, but also for children in Israeli kibbutz communes failing to marry one another when they reach adulthood. In your case, my case, and the case of nearly everyone else on this site, something happened that prevented the normal Westermarck imprinting. Usually it's separation due to adoption or divorce, or in my case I left home before my half-sister was born. Reunited as adults, and unhindered by the Westermarck effect, we view this person as a legitimate potential mate, one which, by the way, is extremely similar to ourselves both physically and emotionally. Who hasn't ever wondered what it would be like to make love to an opposite-sex version of themselves? Well, this is as close as it gets. It's hard putting what you're feeling and experiencing into words, because English just doesn't have the words for it. We have the word "incest," which I don't like because it pushes too many people's disgust buttons. Not to mention that "incest" is against the law in every state in the United States. The law is stupid, but that's beside the point. We also, thanks to Barb Gonyo, have the term Genetic Sexual Attraction, which is what those blue letters in the upper left of this page stand for. However, I'm not completely happy with that term, either, for two reasons. First, I believe that all attraction is both sexual in nature and genetically determined, so experiencing "genetic sexual attraction" is nothing special. Everyone who is attracted to anyone technically experiences GSA. Second, I also believe that what we are experiencing is far deeper and more complicated than simple sexual attraction. Sexual attraction can be controlled, and it can eventually fade. The feelings between you and your sister, if they are genuine and mutual, are probably impossible for either of you to ignore or control, and will probably never completely go away. English doesn't have the right word, but the Ancient Persian language does. It's a bit hard to pronounce, but it's the best word we have. The word is *xvetokdas* (hveh-TOKE-dass), which can be roughly translated as "the holy union of close kin". The Zoroastrians believed that the first man and woman on earth were twin brother and sister, and that the entire human race came about as a result of xvetokdas. Marriages between brother and sister, mother and son, and father and daughter were not only allowed, but encouraged, as this was viewed as the highest form of love possible. In my case, having fallen completely and inescapably in love with my own little sister, I can tell you that the old Zoroastrians were probably right. Welcome, brother. __________________ "Osiris had been torn to pieces, but Isis his sister and lover crossed the ocean, put him back together, and brought him back to life."

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11-28-2007, 04:15 AM	#3
ibaharleyguy Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: N.E. Ohio Posts: 2	Hi Osiris.... just a quick note here before leaving for work to say "thankyou" for your response. So ironic, that I was so intriqued by your story that, I had read your "post" even before I had written mine....and was so taken by the similarities that I told my h/s to read it too! (She still lives 600 miles away but that's all about to change). The other day, her and I were reading your response together..... her on her 'puter, and me on mine. You seem very knowlegable on this subject and have done lots of research. I find it, not only refreshing to find someone to share my feelings of (gsa??)with... but also theraputic. When I have time, I'll let fill you in on where this is all leading to. Again, thank you for your interest and response. Gotta' go... Ibaharleyguy.