I love her

tulip · 04-02-2008, 09:06 AM

I found my birth family about 3 years ago and immediately fell in love with my hs - in every sense of the word. This was doubly confusing as we are both female. She appeared to have strong feelings for me too at first but quickly became quite distant and seemed to keep me at arms length even though I had tried to keep the nature of my feelings to myself. i began to wonder if she liked me at all. When we met up for the second time, however, she was slightly under the influence of something or other and told me that she loved me!!!! I was elated but wasn't sure if she meant it. She also was very tactile (when my husband wasn't looking) and flirtatious. The next day I told her I had strong feeings but didn't expand on that. For the rest of the week she became increasingly cool towards me and by the end of my stay would barely speak to me. I went home feeling incredibly dejected. She no longer contacts me at all now but i still call her from time to time. I haven't seen her for 2 years but my feelings haven't changed. Over the time she has often been off-hand and cold towards me but mainly simply seems just to tolerate me. At other times though she has been the opposite, for example, telling me she loved me on more than one occasion, stroking my tatty old jumper when she thought no one was looking, signing off e-mails 'all my love' with 8 (I counted them!) kisses. Am I kidding myself? I think this is all a bit pathetic really!

kmk91 · 04-02-2008, 05:21 PM

maybe shes bipolar? im not trying to be mean about it but that kinda seems like it. id say, if possible, try to ask her how she feels. confront her about how you feel she is acting. maybe things will work out..but you know as well as i do that theres always the chance theyll get worse. just try your best in this situation and see what can come out of it. its not pathetic at all...you cant help how you feel for people. good luck!

Victor · 04-02-2008, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kmk91

maybe shes bipolar? im not trying to be mean about it but that kinda seems like it. id say, if possible, try to ask her how she feels. confront her about how you feel she is acting. maybe things will work out..but you know as well as i do that theres always the chance theyll get worse. just try your best in this situation and see what can come out of it. its not pathetic at all...you cant help how you feel for people. good luck!

No...sorry....I was married to bipolar for 32 years. That isn't it. She's in denial. When she feels safe and hidden she acts on her feelings, but when she feels she is being noticed she hides. She doesn't want others to know that she has these feelings, and yet she doesn't know how to deal with them herself. Maybe if you"accidently" left this website out where she might find it, she could finally see that she's not the only one who has these feelings. Knowing about the nature of those feelings and knowing that there are others just like you can have a healing and soothing affect on a person. Her computer explorer history will let you know if she's been here, after which it might be easier to open up a dialogue between the two of you.

04-02-2008, 09:06 AM	#1
tulip Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1	I love her I found my birth family about 3 years ago and immediately fell in love with my hs - in every sense of the word. This was doubly confusing as we are both female. She appeared to have strong feelings for me too at first but quickly became quite distant and seemed to keep me at arms length even though I had tried to keep the nature of my feelings to myself. i began to wonder if she liked me at all. When we met up for the second time, however, she was slightly under the influence of something or other and told me that she loved me!!!! I was elated but wasn't sure if she meant it. She also was very tactile (when my husband wasn't looking) and flirtatious. The next day I told her I had strong feeings but didn't expand on that. For the rest of the week she became increasingly cool towards me and by the end of my stay would barely speak to me. I went home feeling incredibly dejected. She no longer contacts me at all now but i still call her from time to time. I haven't seen her for 2 years but my feelings haven't changed. Over the time she has often been off-hand and cold towards me but mainly simply seems just to tolerate me. At other times though she has been the opposite, for example, telling me she loved me on more than one occasion, stroking my tatty old jumper when she thought no one was looking, signing off e-mails 'all my love' with 8 (I counted them!) kisses. Am I kidding myself? I think this is all a bit pathetic really!

04-02-2008, 05:21 PM	#2
kmk91 Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Pennsylvania, USA Posts: 32	maybe shes bipolar? im not trying to be mean about it but that kinda seems like it. id say, if possible, try to ask her how she feels. confront her about how you feel she is acting. maybe things will work out..but you know as well as i do that theres always the chance theyll get worse. just try your best in this situation and see what can come out of it. its not pathetic at all...you cant help how you feel for people. good luck! __________________ Aren't there more important things the government should be worrying about? Like the WAR(!) or something?

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