Confused and in pain

[buttercup]

Well it is three weeks now since I left and still I ache - I realise it is early days - but still there is no sign of relief or a fading of the emotions. It is hard to imagine that I will ever function properly again. We are in touch and do speak and there is some relief in that - but the feeling is all to short and the desperation seeps in again.

But it is a new year and that means a beginning - so I will try and inject something positive into my head and look forward with anticipation that all will move in the right direction and we will find the happiness and peace we desire.

Happy New Year to you all - and thanks for your support.

Originally Posted by Hemmingway69

Here I sit all alone

He said "alone"!

[hurtingdaughter]

how can you two do this to us you may be hurting but we are hurting just as much all you do is lie and R you said L has kids and it would be hard for her to move away from them have you forgotten that you to have kids i have tired my hardest to understand but every time you throw if back in my face!! why are you doing this to us why!!!

[Hemmingway69]

You are right, I have carelessly persued L with little regard for the pain and suffering of both your and my family and I am sorry for that.

I guess this is the side of GSA that few write of. I envy your life and happiness that you have shared with L and I hope that in time you will be able to forgive both of us for the short time that we both found true happiness ( well the short time I found true happiness).

L has made her decision and that is to stay with the family unit.

I am broken and adrift but in time I hope I can over come this terrible loss.

Again I am sorry!!!

[Itisgsa]

R - I think that if you read the above email more closely you will realise that it is YOUR hurting daughter who has posted. And if you read all of your above posts, you will see why she may be upset - you have not mentioned your kids once, only L's.

I also have experienced GSA from the perspective that only ever feels the pain of the condition - the family of those afflicted. We do not ever feel the pure happiness that you feel. All we can do is put our understanding and trust time and time again into your unfortunate situation. I am sad to say, however, that I have yet to see anything real given back in terms of effort, or even much understanding of others pain, to those around you.

But these are the symptoms of GSA - beware other sufferers reading this thread. GSA tears families apart without mercy or thought. Yes you may all feel absolute happiness and bliss around your bro/sis, but no matter how real and pure the feelings seem, until you can understand and admit to yourself that these extreme feelings are a coglomeration of many other displaced feelings connected to the position you find yourselves in, you will never overcome it.

Just take a look around this website - do you think that it is some strange coincidence that everyone with GSA feels so strongly, and that it takes over their lives so completely? When else would you have ever lied, cheated and stolen to get what you wanted? These are symptoms of a condition which you must fight - for how is it healthy to succumb to something which is obviously a symptom of circumstance rather than real and natural love?

[hairdresser]

I have read ur reply and u talk about gsa is tearing familys apart like it is some disease. How can someone loving somebody else be a disease, please answer me this question. The way you talk aswell is as if this is some disease that we have bought on ourselves, have u thought about why bro/sis have been apart for all their lives, it's not their fault, it's the family that is suppose to be there for them (e.g. mother and father), abviously for a lot us we have been split up, never met before and then when we do meet were strangers, we might aswell be meeting as strangers in a local night club. The first point i am putting across here is that our parents have done things in the past, had relationships, we are spawn (sorry to sound so harsh) of those relationships, never grown up together, so we never had the water mark effect, growing up together as brother and sister. So when people who have been in this situation feel like this what do we do, its not EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!! What u have to remember is a lot of this is to do with their parents having a, how do i put it, a sixties lifestyle, carefree and not thinking about the consequences. Also, if bro sis were meeting in secret and other family members didnt know that they had another bro/sis and the family split up thats just an affair. My second point how many familys split up in this world through affairs, think about that one, but then u seem to think this is a disease, again like i said, people can't help there feelings, and HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD HAVE AFFIARS, BUT BECAUSE IT IS GSA IT IS SO MUCH WORSE. I know it's a shock but unless u want to lose ur family BROADEN YOUR HORIZONS.

[luvsbubby]

For me it was definetely something that I wasnt going to let anything get in the way of. We wanted to be together from the first two weeks, and we did. We both got our own place after that first two weeks, and we've been together almost seven years now. We cant be away from each other for a night, we both get homesick very easy; we found out when I had to go to Fla with my mom. Its not a disease, nor a symtom. We love each other, its the easiest most natural love I ever had. I hope that society understands you cant accept gays/lesbians, interaccial relationships, then just say "oh we're drawing the line at incest", thats hypocrasy.
I do feel for you Hemmingway, and your children. I see your heartache and them trying to understand something that really they have no choice over. Its your life and someday they will know that love is not chosen like family isnt chosen. Love just happens... you dont choose who you fall in love with.. thats part of the beauty of it. The essence of love knows where it exists but you, however do not, until it shows itself to you.
Luvsbubby

[dapau05]

will write more when i can but to say that i so understand your turmoil and feelings. Would give anything to be with my birth sister. Will write soon when i can