Somebody help me PLEASE : ( - Page 2

ALLEY1 · 08-23-2007, 03:47 PM

Hi Eveyrone

I spoke to Barbara and she gave me the OK to post on the site. I am a UK journalist doing a story on GSA. My national union of journalist number is NUJ 937 491.

I would like to talk to a couple who are involved with each other - brother and sister, brother/sister and half sibling. The article would be published in a UK magazine. I can change your name and age and location and we offer a fee of between $500-1000usd for your story. You would need to be interviewed and photographed - we can change your look and photograph you in a way in which you won't be identified and talk about your relationship in a way which will educate others. My email is [email protected] my phone number is +44 7747 825 884

PLEASE HELP ME EDUCATE OTHERS IN A PROFESSIONAL WAY AND NOTE I CHECKED WITH BARBARA FIRST BEFORE POSTING.
Thanks in advance and respect
Alley

Victor · 08-31-2007, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by been there

Another very painful, but more permanent solution is to go into therapy with a therapist of whatever gender and age range you are attracted to. Make sure they are COMPLETELY ethical by getting references, referrals, etc, and that they continue to receive their own counseling, have a happy marriage of their own, etc, so that they do not engage in an affair with you, which would do you serious psychological damage. Chances are that after spilling your heart to this person for a few months you will get a major infatuation with them that will wipe out your attraction to the person you want to forget (or at least see in a less sexualized manner). They can let you talk it out and get over it after a couple of years. It works. Hope this helps somebody. Wish somebody had told me how transference works a little earlier.

This completely ignores the way GSA works in us. Your attraction mechanics are based on like genetic markers (facial features, ferimones, etc.), not gender and age. And spilling your heart out to just anyone will NOT make you infatuated with them. Please....We don't need bad advice here. We get enough of that from each other.

5Kmom · 08-31-2007, 06:04 PM

I don't agree with the whole idea of finding a therapist that you could become attracted to, but I do think there is some element of truth in the idea of transference. In my own situation, I tried to transfer the emotion I was feeling about my bio-son to my husband. Sadly, it was a tough time in our marriage, so the feelings weren't reciprocated. Then, later, I became involved with another man... again in an attempt to bring my intense emotional feelings for my bio-son into a more "socially acceptable" (if you can call an extra-marital affair socially acceptable!!!) way. Because the man I became involved with seemed to reciprocate those feelings, and because I was separated from my son physically (we were thousands of miles apart) and my marriage was strained, I did manage to feel less obsessive towards my bio-son and actually felt the "pull" of the GSA lessen. However, none of my behavior was acceptable and I ended up in a crisis situation, suicidal, shoved into a sexual addiction recovery program and otherwise brutalized by the "professionals" who did not recognize that the root of the issue was GSA.
Now that I have been fortunate enough to find this website and visit with Barb and others who have experienced this unwanted, unexpected type of feeling toward a family member, the professionals have all said, "Oh - I see, that IS quite different!"
5Kmom

liltimetothink · 09-15-2007, 07:45 PM

There is not much info about GSA out there that people in this situation can refer to. In my opinion, it is because of the "taboo" nature of it. Although I do agree it should be addressed, I don't think being splattered over a magazine is going to help you cope with your dilemma. I can't think of a better way for healing other than talking to a professional about the emotional rollercoaster you are going through. I sincerly hope you find better days ahead.

Victor · 09-15-2007, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by liltimetothink

There is not much info about GSA out there that people in this situation can refer to. In my opinion, it is because of the "taboo" nature of it. Although I do agree it should be addressed, I don't think being splattered over a magazine is going to help you cope with your dilemma. I can't think of a better way for healing other than talking to a professional about the emotional rollercoaster you are going through. I sincerly hope you find better days ahead.

You are right....there's not much info on GSA out there. But talking to a therapist who doesn't know squat about GSA won't help the matter. Do make sure that the therapist you are seeing knows something about GSA before discussing this with him/her. Bad advise is worse than no advice at all where GSA is concerned.

jen · 09-15-2007, 08:41 PM

Maybe I am being very naive, but I don't see why a GSA relationship is considered so wrong. I understand that most people who haven't experienced it first hand don't and can't understand it, but that in itself doesn't make it wrong. The emotional roller coaster you refer to is actually society's view of our relationships not the relationships themselves. If we weren't judged so harshly this emotional roller coaster would not be half as bad. GSA effects a whole range of people from all backgrounds and of all ages - its not an illness and shouldn't be judged or treated as one. I know most people don't understand the relationship I have with my father - but I won't apologize for it and have absolutely no intention of seeking treatment for it. Just because society doesn't understand something doesn't mean its wrong.

liltimetothink · 09-15-2007, 09:18 PM

I don't think anyone here wants you to apologize for your relationship with your father jen. In my view, you are two adults who have as much right to happineness no matter who its with. The emotional rollercoaster I was refering to was in relation to the situation brokenhearted is facing- the ups and downs of her relationship with her brother, who now wants to part after she gave up so much.

Victor · 09-15-2007, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen

Maybe I am being very naive, but I don't see why a GSA relationship is considered so wrong.

Because the Torah condemns it, mostly. Religions based upon the Torah (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) condemn sex between a parent and child, between brothers and sisters (even though Abraham and Sarah were, according to Genesis, chapter 20:verse 12, half brother and sister), aunts and nephews, uncles and nieces, all according to the provisions of Leviticus, chapter 18. In the western world we live in a society imbued by Judaeo-Christian mores. These mores are based on tribal laws that have little reason or logic to them. And yet we are bound to them because society is bound by them, because of our general distrust for science, still.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen

I understand that most people who haven't experienced it first hand don't and can't understand it, but that in itself doesn't make it wrong. The emotional roller coaster you refer to is actually society's view of our relationships not the relationships themselves.

Exactly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen

If we weren't judged so harshly this emotional roller coaster would not be half as bad.

I dare say, it wouldn't exist at all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen

GSA effects a whole range of people from all backgrounds and of all ages - its not an illness and shouldn't be judged or treated as one. I know most people don't understand the relationship I have with my father - but I won't apologize for it and have absolutely no intention of seeking treatment for it. Just because society doesn't understand something doesn't mean its wrong.

I couldn't agree more. But still, we have a whole society out there to convince otherwise, and they have laws against this sort of thing for which they can arrest us by. And until we can convince them just how archaic these laws are, they will continue to prosecute those of us who think differently, and act on those thoughts. We need to open society's eyes to the truth, without making them blink first.

lighthouse · 09-16-2007, 09:02 PM

Here's a site that discusses the Catholic perspective on this:

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/04264a.htm

I don't understand why it was acceptable in the past (with Abraham and Sarah) but is not acceptable now. It is interesting to note that according to the March of Dimes, Muslim countries, where first cousin marriage is common, have the highest incidence of birth defects.

Victor · 09-17-2007, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lighthouse

Here's a site that discusses the Catholic perspective on this:

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/04264a.htm

I don't understand why it was acceptable in the past (with Abraham and Sarah) but is not acceptable now. It is interesting to note that according to the March of Dimes, Muslim countries, where first cousin marriage is common, have the highest incidence of birth defects.

So you know....that article from the Catholic Encyclopedia was written in 1905....
that's ....1905

I think we've come to know a lot more about science since then.

As far as there being a link between the higher incidence of birth defects in the Middle East and their allowance of first cousin marriages as you suggest, there are way too many other factors involved here in the prenatal and neonatal care we find in the Near and Middle Eastern countries, most of which are third world countries, to conclude that such a link is the main cause. I know....I've spent several years in the Middle East.

08-23-2007, 03:47 PM	#11
ALLEY1 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 7	UK journalist seeks help with story Hi Eveyrone I spoke to Barbara and she gave me the OK to post on the site. I am a UK journalist doing a story on GSA. My national union of journalist number is NUJ 937 491. I would like to talk to a couple who are involved with each other - brother and sister, brother/sister and half sibling. The article would be published in a UK magazine. I can change your name and age and location and we offer a fee of between $500-1000usd for your story. You would need to be interviewed and photographed - we can change your look and photograph you in a way in which you won't be identified and talk about your relationship in a way which will educate others. My email is [email protected] my phone number is +44 7747 825 884 PLEASE HELP ME EDUCATE OTHERS IN A PROFESSIONAL WAY AND NOTE I CHECKED WITH BARBARA FIRST BEFORE POSTING. Thanks in advance and respect Alley

08-31-2007, 06:04 PM	#13
5Kmom Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 38	Transference... I don't agree with the whole idea of finding a therapist that you could become attracted to, but I do think there is some element of truth in the idea of transference. In my own situation, I tried to transfer the emotion I was feeling about my bio-son to my husband. Sadly, it was a tough time in our marriage, so the feelings weren't reciprocated. Then, later, I became involved with another man... again in an attempt to bring my intense emotional feelings for my bio-son into a more "socially acceptable" (if you can call an extra-marital affair socially acceptable!!!) way. Because the man I became involved with seemed to reciprocate those feelings, and because I was separated from my son physically (we were thousands of miles apart) and my marriage was strained, I did manage to feel less obsessive towards my bio-son and actually felt the "pull" of the GSA lessen. However, none of my behavior was acceptable and I ended up in a crisis situation, suicidal, shoved into a sexual addiction recovery program and otherwise brutalized by the "professionals" who did not recognize that the root of the issue was GSA. Now that I have been fortunate enough to find this website and visit with Barb and others who have experienced this unwanted, unexpected type of feeling toward a family member, the professionals have all said, "Oh - I see, that IS quite different!" 5Kmom

09-15-2007, 08:41 PM	#16
jen Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 8	Maybe I am being very naive, but I don't see why a GSA relationship is considered so wrong. I understand that most people who haven't experienced it first hand don't and can't understand it, but that in itself doesn't make it wrong. The emotional roller coaster you refer to is actually society's view of our relationships not the relationships themselves. If we weren't judged so harshly this emotional roller coaster would not be half as bad. GSA effects a whole range of people from all backgrounds and of all ages - its not an illness and shouldn't be judged or treated as one. I know most people don't understand the relationship I have with my father - but I won't apologize for it and have absolutely no intention of seeking treatment for it. Just because society doesn't understand something doesn't mean its wrong. Last edited by jen : 09-15-2007 at 08:47 PM.

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09-15-2007, 07:45 PM	#14
liltimetothink Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 15	There is not much info about GSA out there that people in this situation can refer to. In my opinion, it is because of the "taboo" nature of it. Although I do agree it should be addressed, I don't think being splattered over a magazine is going to help you cope with your dilemma. I can't think of a better way for healing other than talking to a professional about the emotional rollercoaster you are going through. I sincerly hope you find better days ahead.

09-15-2007, 09:18 PM	#17
liltimetothink Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 15	I don't think anyone here wants you to apologize for your relationship with your father jen. In my view, you are two adults who have as much right to happineness no matter who its with. The emotional rollercoaster I was refering to was in relation to the situation brokenhearted is facing- the ups and downs of her relationship with her brother, who now wants to part after she gave up so much.

09-16-2007, 09:02 PM	#19
lighthouse Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 8	Here's a site that discusses the Catholic perspective on this: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/04264a.htm I don't understand why it was acceptable in the past (with Abraham and Sarah) but is not acceptable now. It is interesting to note that according to the March of Dimes, Muslim countries, where first cousin marriage is common, have the highest incidence of birth defects.