Somebody help me PLEASE : (

[brokenhearted]

Hi, I'm in a stituation and I don't know what to do. My half-brother and I have been in a relationship for the past year and a half. We first meet each other in Aug of 2004. I love him sooooooooooooo much but this weekend he dicided that in Mar. 2008 when our lease is up that he wants to part. He says he loves me too, but he feels guilty and what we are doing is wrong and that everytime he hears an incest joke it hurts because it is real for him.........He is my soulmate and I gave up my whole life for him my family, my kids, and my marrage. He says he feels guilty when he talks to his dad or brother that it reminds him of how wrong this is...............I don't want to lose him.....March 2008 is right around the corner and I don't know what to do.............I don't have anything except for him we are to gether allllll the time except for when we are working, otherwise we are inseperatible...........Somebody please help me ...............What should I do???

[diamondbabysis]

Hi, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Maybe he just needs some time to think about it. Guilt is a strong emotion. But you can't make him stay if he doesn't want to. I wonder if this is where I'd be today IF.........
Please do not give up. Hang in there. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but all I can say is "i'm thinking of you & wishing the best" Lots of things can happen in 8 months.

[clyde-bonnie]

Has he read this forum? If not it couldn't hurt. It may help to point out that you are not the only couple.

My Bonnie and I considered the incest jokes as inside jokes and laughed together later. We got together last week for the first time in 22 years. We visited my sister while I was there and she made jokes which we all laughed at. My daughter from out here in California has not had the talk yet, but she will soon, when I fly back for the funny sister's wedding. But my daughter has already told Bonnie that she isn't grossed out by us (not knowing yet that we are soon to be a couple again). Our father's wife told me that all familys have something weird. Bonnie and I are our family's weird thing. Oh well. Our father won't like it, neither will my mother.

But they are not living our lives. You have given up everything. Are you still living close to family? I think distance helps. If you're far enough away the only ones who will visit will be the ones that have learned that its better to live with your relationship than to live without you. Those who cannot tolerate the two of you won't be dropping by. The separation won't be easy, but no part of relationships like the ones we all have here will be easy. But my Bonnie is important enough to me to give up all else if necessary.

I suspect that the issue may be the level of sacrifice that your h/brother is willing to accept.

I can only say that I hope you two make it. I can tell you that time does not help. After 22 years (almost 10 without any contact) we are both available now and our love is stronger than before.

Please let us know how things go. We would rather congratulate your success but are here to console you if things go badly. You are not alone.

[brokenhearted]

I told him about this site also printed out an interview that was done on ABC primetime, but his response was so there are many other people I feel the same way about that what they are doing is wrong. He keeps telling me there is hope, and I want to believe him, but to sleep with him every night and to continue to have relations of the sexual nature is very confusing. I don't understand stand why he wants me to stay until March 2008. He has however made it clear that we will go our seperate ways come March. I hope that after we sperate he does come back, my love for him is like no other and I don't think I will find it again..............He said he make be back one day, but he can not promise he will be............My heart is sad and I don't know how I will make to March without losing my mind......I know in my heart that if you truly love someone than you let them go, if they come back they were truly yours to begin with. I'm 29 and he is 32, I told him I will wait until I'm 50 for him to come back home to my arms.....Thats really all the hope I have to hang on to.

[brokenhearted]

A couple of things I forgot to mention. He did say that if we had been from different mother that it probly would not bother him as much.....He never got to know our mom she abandon him at age 2, along with his twin brother and his other two older brothers. Then she and my full brother were killed in a car accident when I was 9...........so he neber got a chance to know her. He say the fact that we have the same mom, and shared the same womb that we are our mother and that bothers him he looks at the father as have just donated some genes, but I keep trying to tell him that we are equally a part of our mother and father. ... He is my soul-mate and I want him to be happy.......I hope he comes to find peace with in himself and learn to love himself................

[been there]

I got a crush on my half-brother when I first met him - he has a lot in common with me, and he's very attractive! I was ashamed of myself and desperate, and found a couple of things that helped. In fact, this could help with almost any unfortunate infatuation. One short term solution is to take a SSRI antidepressant. That completely kills many people's feelings of infatuation dead. In fact, it can keep you from having any sex drive at all, pretty much, if you are one of the people that responds this way. SSRIs include Prozac, Celexa, and a few other popular brands. Another very painful, but more permanent solution is to go into therapy with a therapist of whatever gender and age range you are attracted to. Make sure they are COMPLETELY ethical by getting references, referrals, etc, and that they continue to receive their own counseling, have a happy marriage of their own, etc, so that they do not engage in an affair with you, which would do you serious psychological damage. Chances are that after spilling your heart to this person for a few months you will get a major infatuation with them that will wipe out your attraction to the person you want to forget (or at least see in a less sexualized manner). They can let you talk it out and get over it after a couple of years. It works. Hope this helps somebody. Wish somebody had told me how transference works a little earlier.

[lighthouse]

Been There, did you ever tell your h/b how you felt? If so, what was his reaction?

[nearly_died]

Sorry, no drugs for me, hobbies are more effective in making you forget things positively and without side effects. Try also volunteering to help the needy people. It makes you completely forget about yourself, your needs, your emotional needs, and be happy at the same time! Remember, love and falling in love is not the best thing in this world.

[BarbGonyo]

To nearly died.

I like your idea of fixing your problems instead of what someone might think is a fix by taking drugs to not think. That seems to be one of the big problems in our lives today is mood altering drugs to black us out so we don't have to feel. How sad that someone would even sugest that as a cure.

I too, become absorbed in my painting, crafts, and helping others who have GSA. That is what saved me. They are my drugs. I also want to say that putting your problems into Gods hands, can be a life saver also.

I know I'm not capable of changing others or fixing them or judging them. That is up to their Creator. I'm just a messenger.

Helping one another is what it is all about. Not drugs.

Barb G

[nearly_died]

Originally Posted by BarbGonyo

Helping one another is what it is all about. Not drugs.

Barb G

I couldn't agree more!

BTW, I'd like to make clear something I said previously: >Remember, love and falling in love is not the best thing in this world.<

What I meant is the kind of love towards the opposite sex. But the kind of love when you care for others even if they can never do you any favor is the best thing in this world.