Still Happy

[Victor]

Originally Posted by cap

P.S. - VERY IMPORTANT - are you working with a therapist who is advising you about this whole 6 year westermark thing, or are you just flying solo and taking a chance? Id really like to talk to a "professional" or two before I even thought about taking another chance.

My therapist told me that what I was feeling was this very strong need to bond. He warned me not to let it go too far (to sex), but advised that I allow the bonding to happen just the same. We lay with one another, cuddle, touch, kiss, stroke and even smell each other. It's crazy but there is this very strong urge to smell her....her hair, her arms. Please don't ask me to explain it.

Go to a hospital ward where you can see new parents with their new child. They touch their child, kiss their child, cuddle him, stroke him, even smell him. These are all actions of a parent bonding with the child. Only for me, that child is in her 30's and is now a sexual creature herself who responds to these bonding actions in the only way she knows how. Yes, it can cross the line. And if it does, you have to try to get back on the other side of that line, but don't stop this process no matter what you do. Eventually you will bond with that child, and once you do I'm certain that you will imprint with that child and lose the sexual side of that bonding experience. No one knows how long this will take to work. We've given ourselves close to a year to try to make it work.

I don't want to write her off and never see her again, which would be the only other alternative here. So we are trying this, in hopes that we become "Dad and Princess" instead of "infatuated lovers" who can never be together.

[Bella]

From someone that had a father/daughter GSA relationship I totally believe it is regarded much diffrently than brother/sister, cousins, GSA relationships. I agree absolutley with Cap. I was absolutely totally in love with Jakob when I met him. All of you who have experienced/experience in a GSA relationship understands that electrifying experience. It almost feels like you would die without one another. It is an absolute beautiful love but I could not reconcile that Jakob was my Bio-Dad. We lived in the bible belt...can you imagine what would have happened had the truth come out? The constant living in fear....

Had I had a father, like you Victor...who is trying to work this out perhaps things would have been different. I absolutly admire you Victor...and you will see this westermeck effect will kick in. Eight years after the fact..I truly wish this thing had never happened. It truly destroyed me and because I had had such a dysfunctional family I had very little tools to deal with it.

There are happy unions I know but with the daughter/father sexual relationship I believe it is even harder to maintain. I have seen so many psychiatrists who want me to go to a sexual abuse clinic where these abuses happened to everyone else when they where children. I am told repeately that he was "the father" the adult in the situation he should not have let things go that far. But I was a 27 year old woman when I met him and I feel that I am just as responsible as he was.

Just my thoughts on my situations. May we all find peace!

[Diogenes]

Luvsbubby,

I just wanted to add my voice to yours in the "still happy" category. My sis and I have been through some tough times as well, but we're going on three years together, and things are getting better all the time.

[luvsbubby]

Diogenes
Good luck to you...I hope you continue on..there are problems that may occur but your love can see you thru. I'm here if you ever need to talk.

Victor
I surely didnt mean for you to have to defend yourself..I only meant to tell you to be careful. Which I am sure you knew anyway.
luvsbubby

[jen]

hi - victor i just wanted to let you know how things are going for me and my dad. Although its early days we seem to have found a way we can be together and maintain a father and daughter relationship. I know it must be very difficult for you and your daughter but you sound like a very caring and responsible man - i doubt there is a one fix answer for people like us - we each have to find our own way of handling things, but for my dad and i, it seems we have found a happy medium. I was wondering if your daughter ever visits this site - if she doesnt she may find it helpful

best wishes
Jen

[Victor]

Originally Posted by jen

I was wondering if your daughter ever visits this site - if she doesnt she may find it helpful

Actually Jen, she visits this website regularly. She's even the one that directed me here. So far, she hasn't posted and hasn't registered, but she did say that she might change that soon. She knows who I am on here, so hopefully she'll make that tie-in when she does post for the first time.