if it were legal - Page 2

Saba · 07-06-2005, 08:46 PM

Hi Magnus

Welcome! If you can "not cross that line", more power to you both. But there is much more involved in this GSA that just that physical act.......The hurt and pain can come even without the border crossing. I hope you can work it all out. If I could go back and do over, I am wondering if I would not have reunited or left things as they were. The pain and agony, hurt and turmoil is almost too much to bear.

Good luck. I think you are being very smart and seemingly very cautious. You have taken others into consideration. Kudos to you! That doesn't always happen. I hope to hear your success story. We need some out here.

Magnus · 07-06-2005, 10:33 PM

Hi Saba!

Thanks for the kind words. I know exactly what you mean about the pain and agony of GSA. As I said, there have been no lines crossed at this point but it's still caused an avalanch of problems in both of our lives. It's already causing problems in her marriage and my relationships have suffered greatly also.

I know that we're still in the early stages of all of this...and I can see that it's going to be a long road. Trying to get past it seems to be a miserable process and full of pitfalls and temptations... But we've made some good choices so far. If we can keep it up.. we might even make it through this without destroying our lives and families...... but...I think we're going to need all the luck we can get .

ABASC · 07-10-2005, 02:49 PM

Barb;
You may be right in the fact of it being sexual thoughts more then thoughts of a real domestic partnership.
My sister and I are different in that I am a homebody. I go out to eat 1 or 2 times a week. I like to live in the country. Where as my sister likes to live in town and run here and there 6 out of 7 days. I do not think a domestic partnership type relationship would work out. We both would be hurt. I know it would not work,But at the same time in my thoughts I would like it to work both sexual and domestic partnership.
As I said in my other post my sister and I play dr when we were young. We never had intercouse. just rubed togather.
I do not know about other, But for me it may be the fact that it is easily to have a relationship with someone you know then with someone you need to get to know.
I do not know about the ones that is marred or have lost family as I have lived single most of my adult life. But I have dealt with the thoughts and fantasies of a sexual/domestic partnership with my sister for many years.

hairdresser · 08-01-2005, 06:36 PM

Hello all, what a relief to find this website.Thought i was going mad!
I met my half brother 3 months ago.Since then my life has turned upside down.
I was in a unhappy marraige but with 4 kids thought i'd stay for the sake of my children.
Then my brother enters my life.I had been having very strong feelings for him for a number of weeks, but didnt say anything because i thought he'd run a mile.Then 1 evening after a few drinks we got off with eachother.We didnt go the whole way.I felt over the moon thet he felt the same way,but also felt disgusted with myself.He then said it could never happen again and he wanted to just be my brother. I felt very hurt and rejected and i realised that i'd actually fallen in love with him.
I ended up asking my husband to leave, he doesnt know about what has gone on with my brother.
Anyway i met up with my brother again, we ended up spending the whole night together . we actually crossed the line.Said we loved eachother and decided to have a secret intimate relationship.
A few days later my brother said he can't do it .I was gutted. He said he cant loose me though . the thought of not having me in his life is horrendous.
How can i carry on seeing him when i feel like this.
Please help.
Feel like my life is falling apart

Teenie · 08-03-2005, 08:38 AM

Hello Hairdresser

Welcome!

I ended an intimate relationship with my half-brother in January. I feel that I no longer have GSA feelings towards my brother, although I do still get a bit confused about that from week to week. I met my brother 3 years ago.

I had decided to stop contact altogether for say 3 months because his feelings are still very much intense. He is focused on nothing else in life apart from me. But, without changing my phone numbers and moving away, it is proving very hard as he will not respect my wish and so contact is still continuing through text messages and speaking on the telephone.

I am hoping that my brother's feelings will start to fade but I have made it clear to him that he has to face up to reality. He and I, as a couple, cannot ever be! Unless of course, I am prepared to lose my children, which I am not!

My brother is in so much pain and it hurts to know what he is going through. Maybe the only answer will be for me to change my phone numbers and move away but I am hoping that I don't have to lose him totally as a brother, which would be so very hurtful.

I do believe that my brother cannot accept a lot of things. He doesn't want to. It's as though he is trying to bring a dream alive. He has to look at the hard facts and has to accept and until he does he will never be able to move on emotionally.

There are a lot of situations in life that we do not have control over. Everybody gets emotionally hurt at one point or another in life but, within time things DO get better and we DO heal our wounds.

I can relate to the pain that you're going through right now, I really can. Keep believing that things WILL get better and you will NOT stay in this pain forever!

Hang in there....it will be a rocky ride but you will come out the other end!

Teenie

lfmor · 09-30-2007, 07:16 PM

I don't know if I can say that my reasoning for the GSA is because of missing out in the childhood "games." I grew up with 5 other half siblings that I experienced all of the normal things that siblings go through. I have never once had any thoughts about them like I have my h/b I recently met. That actually goes for both of us because he also grew up with 2 half siblings. Even after all this reading I am still confused as to why things happen the way they do. All I know is that I am in love with my hb and I don't think anything can change that. I have grown up so much over the last 3 years that we have known each other and my feelings have never died down. I still get excited to hear his voice when he calls me or to look at his pictures smiling back at me. I love him because of the person he is.

07-06-2005, 08:46 PM	#11
Saba Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: United States Posts: 22	Hi Magnus Welcome! If you can "not cross that line", more power to you both. But there is much more involved in this GSA that just that physical act.......The hurt and pain can come even without the border crossing. I hope you can work it all out. If I could go back and do over, I am wondering if I would not have reunited or left things as they were. The pain and agony, hurt and turmoil is almost too much to bear. Good luck. I think you are being very smart and seemingly very cautious. You have taken others into consideration. Kudos to you! That doesn't always happen. I hope to hear your success story. We need some out here. __________________ Saba

09-30-2007, 07:16 PM	#16
lfmor Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: united states Posts: 12	I don't know if I can say that my reasoning for the GSA is because of missing out in the childhood "games." I grew up with 5 other half siblings that I experienced all of the normal things that siblings go through. I have never once had any thoughts about them like I have my h/b I recently met. That actually goes for both of us because he also grew up with 2 half siblings. Even after all this reading I am still confused as to why things happen the way they do. All I know is that I am in love with my hb and I don't think anything can change that. I have grown up so much over the last 3 years that we have known each other and my feelings have never died down. I still get excited to hear his voice when he calls me or to look at his pictures smiling back at me. I love him because of the person he is. __________________ lfmor

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07-06-2005, 10:33 PM	#12
Magnus Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 7	Hi Saba! Thanks for the kind words. I know exactly what you mean about the pain and agony of GSA. As I said, there have been no lines crossed at this point but it's still caused an avalanch of problems in both of our lives. It's already causing problems in her marriage and my relationships have suffered greatly also. I know that we're still in the early stages of all of this...and I can see that it's going to be a long road. Trying to get past it seems to be a miserable process and full of pitfalls and temptations... But we've made some good choices so far. If we can keep it up.. we might even make it through this without destroying our lives and families...... but...I think we're going to need all the luck we can get .

07-10-2005, 02:49 PM	#13
ABASC Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Fla. Posts: 6	Barb; You may be right in the fact of it being sexual thoughts more then thoughts of a real domestic partnership. My sister and I are different in that I am a homebody. I go out to eat 1 or 2 times a week. I like to live in the country. Where as my sister likes to live in town and run here and there 6 out of 7 days. I do not think a domestic partnership type relationship would work out. We both would be hurt. I know it would not work,But at the same time in my thoughts I would like it to work both sexual and domestic partnership. As I said in my other post my sister and I play dr when we were young. We never had intercouse. just rubed togather. I do not know about other, But for me it may be the fact that it is easily to have a relationship with someone you know then with someone you need to get to know. I do not know about the ones that is marred or have lost family as I have lived single most of my adult life. But I have dealt with the thoughts and fantasies of a sexual/domestic partnership with my sister for many years.

08-01-2005, 06:36 PM	#14
hairdresser Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: uk Posts: 7	Hello all, what a relief to find this website.Thought i was going mad! I met my half brother 3 months ago.Since then my life has turned upside down. I was in a unhappy marraige but with 4 kids thought i'd stay for the sake of my children. Then my brother enters my life.I had been having very strong feelings for him for a number of weeks, but didnt say anything because i thought he'd run a mile.Then 1 evening after a few drinks we got off with eachother.We didnt go the whole way.I felt over the moon thet he felt the same way,but also felt disgusted with myself.He then said it could never happen again and he wanted to just be my brother. I felt very hurt and rejected and i realised that i'd actually fallen in love with him. I ended up asking my husband to leave, he doesnt know about what has gone on with my brother. Anyway i met up with my brother again, we ended up spending the whole night together . we actually crossed the line.Said we loved eachother and decided to have a secret intimate relationship. A few days later my brother said he can't do it .I was gutted. He said he cant loose me though . the thought of not having me in his life is horrendous. How can i carry on seeing him when i feel like this. Please help. Feel like my life is falling apart

08-03-2005, 08:38 AM	#15
Teenie Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: England Posts: 77	Hello Hairdresser Welcome! I ended an intimate relationship with my half-brother in January. I feel that I no longer have GSA feelings towards my brother, although I do still get a bit confused about that from week to week. I met my brother 3 years ago. I had decided to stop contact altogether for say 3 months because his feelings are still very much intense. He is focused on nothing else in life apart from me. But, without changing my phone numbers and moving away, it is proving very hard as he will not respect my wish and so contact is still continuing through text messages and speaking on the telephone. I am hoping that my brother's feelings will start to fade but I have made it clear to him that he has to face up to reality. He and I, as a couple, cannot ever be! Unless of course, I am prepared to lose my children, which I am not! My brother is in so much pain and it hurts to know what he is going through. Maybe the only answer will be for me to change my phone numbers and move away but I am hoping that I don't have to lose him totally as a brother, which would be so very hurtful. I do believe that my brother cannot accept a lot of things. He doesn't want to. It's as though he is trying to bring a dream alive. He has to look at the hard facts and has to accept and until he does he will never be able to move on emotionally. There are a lot of situations in life that we do not have control over. Everybody gets emotionally hurt at one point or another in life but, within time things DO get better and we DO heal our wounds. I can relate to the pain that you're going through right now, I really can. Keep believing that things WILL get better and you will NOT stay in this pain forever! Hang in there....it will be a rocky ride but you will come out the other end! Teenie