if it were legal

bonnie · 05-19-2005, 10:55 AM

I was just wondering if it were legal in Sweden like news said for siblings to get married how many of us would pick up and move, to be able to have a somewhat normal life with our mates. I am very intrested myself.

Also I wanted to say that it is nice that there seems to be more activity in here these days.

Nepthys · 05-20-2005, 05:52 PM

I wouldn't.

I have come to terms with the fact that the relationship between my half brother and I is purely sexual. In terms of our emotional feelings towards each other, we are no different than any other very devoted, very close best-friend/siblings. I have no illusions about running away and marrying him, and have no desire to be in a 'relationship' with him.

But when we are together, something so intense sparks between us. And even when we resolve not to, we end up intimate.

I can't bring myself to feel bad or guilty, and there's even a bit of excitement in knowing that I've crossed the One Major Line In All Cultural Taboos. EVER. There are people in this world who would accept it better if I had shot someone in the head, than who would accept that my brother and I have performed various (probably deviant in and of themselves) sexual acts. And that fact excites me even more.

I don't know. That's just me, though.

BarbGonyo · 05-21-2005, 10:21 AM

Nepthys,

As I was reading your post about your feelings about your relationship with your brother, it struck me how siblings are when they are growing up together. I'm sure in millions of families children experimented sexually with each other. I doubt very much if there was guilt envolved in the acts of discovering each other and their bodies.

They probably never wanted to stay together as a couple for the rest of their lives either but wanted to be siblings for the rest of their lives. In reunions, reunited people go back into their missed years and want to make up for what they lost. As I've said in The Forbidden Love, they missed the years of playing in the bathtub together and want it now.

Can anyone relate to my comparrison or do you think I'm way off base? I'd be interested in knowing if anyone thinks that could be what is happening to them when they find each other?
Barb Gonyo

Teenie · 05-22-2005, 04:17 AM

Barb,

I've sat and thought about what you've said about the playing the bathtub bit together and I would say, yes I do agree on one hand but on the other hand, I don't. I do feel that me and my brother had done our "growing up" bit together during the first two years, in that we used to carry on like a pair of kids, or maybe teenagers. But we seem to have gone through that (or should I say I have, I can't really speak for him). He still wants to muck around sometimes like a teenager and, I think blimey, I'm over 40, grow up!

I'd ended the intimate side of things in January but on our last meeting things started up again. (This is why I said in one of my last posts that I seem to be going around in circles). For me, I've done the growing up bit and now I feel that I just want him by my side in everything I do as you would someone that you love and want to be with.

Don't you think that in any relationship, apart from reunions with long lost siblings, that we all go through a period of time where we're on a high and mess around and are a bit childish? Thinking back, I know I did when I had first met my husband. When you're in love it makes you feel like your 18 again, you have so much energy and walk with a spring in our step.

Don't you think there's two ways of looking at everything in life?

Sometimes I feel that if we analised everything single thing that we do in life, we just wouldn't do a damn thing.

Teenie

bonnie · 05-22-2005, 10:38 AM

Teenie I agree with you.

I think that we try to find an answer or reason for everything instead of just looking at it for what it is a relationship between 2 grown adults regardless that we are bio. related. In any relationship when you start it there is excitement, anticipation, you can't wait until you see them again. And then there are lows just like any other relationship.
We play around alot but I don't feel like that has anything to do with GSA but more to do with thats our personalities. I played around like this with my ex-husband when we first got together and guess what, we werent related.

Bonnie

MarcoPolo · 06-23-2005, 09:12 PM

I agree. The attraction to my birth mother is intensified by the fact that she IS my biological mother, not just a very good looking, bright, well-spoken, classy, as well as friendly and charming mature woman. If I saw her in grocery store, I would say, "What a MILF!". Knowing she is my bio mom adds another level of intensity.

I have no interest in having my mother, who is also a woman 17 years older and with a kid (my half sister) as my wife or life partner. Just too weird. But having a hot and steamy affair together until BOTH of us get this out of our system is another story.

MarcoPolo · 06-23-2005, 09:14 PM

I agree. The attraction to my birth mother is intensified by the fact that she IS my biological mother, not just a very good looking, bright, well-spoken, classy, as well as friendly and charming mature woman. If I saw her in grocery store, I would say, "What a MILF!". Knowing she is my bio mom adds another level of intensity.

I have no interest in having my mother, who is also a woman 17 years older and with a kid (my half sister) as my wife or life partner. Just too weird. But having a hot and steamy affair together until BOTH of us get this out of our system is another story.

Magnus · 07-05-2005, 08:46 PM

I have to say that I agree with Barb on this. I've been reading everything I can find on GSA, adoption reunions, basic sexal attraction..and anything even closely related.

With everything that I've read... and all that I'm personally experiencing with my own recently discovered sister... my take on it is that for some of us, it really is about that childhood bonding that we missed out on. There's some physcological need, something that's triggered with the discovery of a long lost sibling ... that causes us to want to bond.. to create that intamcy that we never had as children. We missed out on the " I'll show you mine if you show me yours" days. Unfortunately... becacuse we're no longer children and that innocence that we had as children that protects us is no longer there...and so other psychological issues arise.. and this seems to blur that line of emotional intamacy and sexual attraction. And then all this is compounded by what seems to be an intense animal magnatism.. which usually doesn't occur in children raised together because of the imprinting that takes place (aka the westermark effect)..without this... it's like all the rules go out the door... add in the taboo of incest.. and suddenly you've got the ultimate attraction...

...of course none of that seems to help in trying to deal with it... at least it hasn't helped me much so far.

By the way.. I'm new... nice to meet yall.

anyway.. that's my $.02

bonnie · 07-06-2005, 12:23 AM

Welcome Magnus!!!!,

Glad you found this site. How long has this been going on? Does she know how you feel?

Bonnie

Magnus · 07-06-2005, 08:23 PM

Thanks Bonnie

My sister found me about 5 months ago.. and the need to spend time with her was almost immediate. As you can imagine, everything sort of sparked off from there. To tell the truth, I didn't even know what I was dealing with until about a month ago. It was she who opened up first, telling me how she felt and what it was she was going through... it was a huge relief ...and a frighteningly pleasant surprise. I told her I felt the same way about her and since then we've been trying to deal with it. For us, it's become vitally important to not cross the line. She's married to a good guy whome she loves very much and has 3 amazing children...

it's been very hard on her marriage... not to mention my own relationships... anyway... that's my story (the short version anyway)

05-19-2005, 10:55 AM	#1
bonnie Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: united states Posts: 28	if it were legal I was just wondering if it were legal in Sweden like news said for siblings to get married how many of us would pick up and move, to be able to have a somewhat normal life with our mates. I am very intrested myself. Also I wanted to say that it is nice that there seems to be more activity in here these days.

05-21-2005, 10:21 AM	#3
BarbGonyo Administrator Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 301	If it were legal Nepthys, As I was reading your post about your feelings about your relationship with your brother, it struck me how siblings are when they are growing up together. I'm sure in millions of families children experimented sexually with each other. I doubt very much if there was guilt envolved in the acts of discovering each other and their bodies. They probably never wanted to stay together as a couple for the rest of their lives either but wanted to be siblings for the rest of their lives. In reunions, reunited people go back into their missed years and want to make up for what they lost. As I've said in The Forbidden Love, they missed the years of playing in the bathtub together and want it now. Can anyone relate to my comparrison or do you think I'm way off base? I'd be interested in knowing if anyone thinks that could be what is happening to them when they find each other? Barb Gonyo __________________ Barbara is the author of "I'm His Mother,but He's Not My Son" (formerly titled "The Forbidden Love, GSA". In the paper back edition of Forbidden Love, there are a total of 20 books left in that form. "The Forbidden Love Genetic Sexual Attraction is $15.00 plus postage and handling. Postage varies in places. In the U.S. postage comes to $2.31 Austrailia Fast Slower $8.40 one week $4.05- 4 weeks New I'm His Mother, but, He's Not My Son" will now be available electronically for your convience. The price is $15.00 check made out to Barbara Gonyo 906 Ioka Mt. Prospect, IL 60056 Upon receiving the order you will be given instructions on how to obtain the book. I hope this will be helpful to all of you who were having trouble getting the book. Barb Gonyo

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05-20-2005, 05:52 PM	#2
Nepthys Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1	I wouldn't. I have come to terms with the fact that the relationship between my half brother and I is purely sexual. In terms of our emotional feelings towards each other, we are no different than any other very devoted, very close best-friend/siblings. I have no illusions about running away and marrying him, and have no desire to be in a 'relationship' with him. But when we are together, something so intense sparks between us. And even when we resolve not to, we end up intimate. I can't bring myself to feel bad or guilty, and there's even a bit of excitement in knowing that I've crossed the One Major Line In All Cultural Taboos. EVER. There are people in this world who would accept it better if I had shot someone in the head, than who would accept that my brother and I have performed various (probably deviant in and of themselves) sexual acts. And that fact excites me even more. I don't know. That's just me, though.

05-22-2005, 04:17 AM	#4
Teenie Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: England Posts: 77	Barb, I've sat and thought about what you've said about the playing the bathtub bit together and I would say, yes I do agree on one hand but on the other hand, I don't. I do feel that me and my brother had done our "growing up" bit together during the first two years, in that we used to carry on like a pair of kids, or maybe teenagers. But we seem to have gone through that (or should I say I have, I can't really speak for him). He still wants to muck around sometimes like a teenager and, I think blimey, I'm over 40, grow up! I'd ended the intimate side of things in January but on our last meeting things started up again. (This is why I said in one of my last posts that I seem to be going around in circles). For me, I've done the growing up bit and now I feel that I just want him by my side in everything I do as you would someone that you love and want to be with. Don't you think that in any relationship, apart from reunions with long lost siblings, that we all go through a period of time where we're on a high and mess around and are a bit childish? Thinking back, I know I did when I had first met my husband. When you're in love it makes you feel like your 18 again, you have so much energy and walk with a spring in our step. Don't you think there's two ways of looking at everything in life? Sometimes I feel that if we analised everything single thing that we do in life, we just wouldn't do a damn thing. Teenie

05-22-2005, 10:38 AM	#5
bonnie Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: united states Posts: 28	Teenie I agree with you. I think that we try to find an answer or reason for everything instead of just looking at it for what it is a relationship between 2 grown adults regardless that we are bio. related. In any relationship when you start it there is excitement, anticipation, you can't wait until you see them again. And then there are lows just like any other relationship. We play around alot but I don't feel like that has anything to do with GSA but more to do with thats our personalities. I played around like this with my ex-husband when we first got together and guess what, we werent related. Bonnie

06-23-2005, 09:12 PM	#6
MarcoPolo Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2	I agree. The attraction to my birth mother is intensified by the fact that she IS my biological mother, not just a very good looking, bright, well-spoken, classy, as well as friendly and charming mature woman. If I saw her in grocery store, I would say, "What a MILF!". Knowing she is my bio mom adds another level of intensity. I have no interest in having my mother, who is also a woman 17 years older and with a kid (my half sister) as my wife or life partner. Just too weird. But having a hot and steamy affair together until BOTH of us get this out of our system is another story.

06-23-2005, 09:14 PM	#7
MarcoPolo Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2	I agree. The attraction to my birth mother is intensified by the fact that she IS my biological mother, not just a very good looking, bright, well-spoken, classy, as well as friendly and charming mature woman. If I saw her in grocery store, I would say, "What a MILF!". Knowing she is my bio mom adds another level of intensity. I have no interest in having my mother, who is also a woman 17 years older and with a kid (my half sister) as my wife or life partner. Just too weird. But having a hot and steamy affair together until BOTH of us get this out of our system is another story.

07-05-2005, 08:46 PM	#8
Magnus Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 7	I have to say that I agree with Barb on this. I've been reading everything I can find on GSA, adoption reunions, basic sexal attraction..and anything even closely related. With everything that I've read... and all that I'm personally experiencing with my own recently discovered sister... my take on it is that for some of us, it really is about that childhood bonding that we missed out on. There's some physcological need, something that's triggered with the discovery of a long lost sibling ... that causes us to want to bond.. to create that intamcy that we never had as children. We missed out on the " I'll show you mine if you show me yours" days. Unfortunately... becacuse we're no longer children and that innocence that we had as children that protects us is no longer there...and so other psychological issues arise.. and this seems to blur that line of emotional intamacy and sexual attraction. And then all this is compounded by what seems to be an intense animal magnatism.. which usually doesn't occur in children raised together because of the imprinting that takes place (aka the westermark effect)..without this... it's like all the rules go out the door... add in the taboo of incest.. and suddenly you've got the ultimate attraction... ...of course none of that seems to help in trying to deal with it... at least it hasn't helped me much so far. By the way.. I'm new... nice to meet yall. anyway.. that's my $.02

07-06-2005, 12:23 AM	#9
bonnie Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: united states Posts: 28	Welcome Magnus!!!!, Glad you found this site. How long has this been going on? Does she know how you feel? Bonnie

07-06-2005, 08:23 PM	#10
Magnus Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 7	Thanks Bonnie My sister found me about 5 months ago.. and the need to spend time with her was almost immediate. As you can imagine, everything sort of sparked off from there. To tell the truth, I didn't even know what I was dealing with until about a month ago. It was she who opened up first, telling me how she felt and what it was she was going through... it was a huge relief ...and a frighteningly pleasant surprise. I told her I felt the same way about her and since then we've been trying to deal with it. For us, it's become vitally important to not cross the line. She's married to a good guy whome she loves very much and has 3 amazing children... it's been very hard on her marriage... not to mention my own relationships... anyway... that's my story (the short version anyway)