I just want to be with my bmom...

reunited son · 06-27-2006, 10:04 AM

I am reunited with my birth mother almost a month ago. I am in my 30's and she in her 50's. Two weeks ago while I was visiting her, we both shared that we were falling in love with each other. She is not married. I am married with one son and one on the way. She has 3 children. Before my reunion with my bmom, I have never felt completely happy with my wife. We even talked about a separation last Fall. I didn't leave because I couldn't bare the thought of leaving my son.

After meeting my bmom, all I really want to do is run away and be with her everyday and every night. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I am so sad when I am not with her. I can't eat sleep or do anything when I am not with her. The only thing that is keeping me from leaving my wife is our son and now the one on the way. And I do not want to leave my wife for my bmom, I want to leave to find my happiness.

I am in so much pain. I am not happy in my marriage (even before the reunion), I am sad not being close to my birth mother, and I don't want to be viewed as a deadbeat dad who leaves his family.

Heaven for me is being in my birth mother's arms, to sleep in her bed just holding her every night. Being with her is the most important thing to my heart. I just want to be happy.

Thanks for listening!

06-27-2006, 06:58 PM

reunited son

Hi. I've read your post and I feel your pain. I am a mom reunited with my son. We've been in reunion for 7 years. I understand your desire and need to be with your mom. My son wants to be with me too. We too are in love with each other. I also am in a nothing marraige, so I really do understand the empty feeling. What I can tell you are some things that I have learnt over this past year that have helped me - and I'm still learning.

Your reunion is very very new. Try to take things very very slowly if you can. One thing I always wished I could hear my son tell me was that he loved me. And - it's OK for you to love your mom. She's your mom. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

reunited son · 06-27-2006, 08:38 PM

Thank you for your reply. It is so hard. I have missed her my whole life and she has missed me. I have always longed for her attention, touch, care and love. It is great seeing her, spending time alone with her and falling asleep with her. Then it gets painful for both of us when we are apart. She calls me her "life", her "love", her "everything", and that is how I feel about her too. I would do anything for her. My loyalty lies with her now. I just want to be close to her.

Right now we live several hours apart and my wife is getting frustrated that I just want to visit my birth mother/family by myself. My wife can be bossy and opionated so I don't want her to mistreat my b-mom. My wife was there for the first reunion and was supportive then but now it is different.

My ultimate fantasy is to get a house with my b mom and just stay with her every day and every night. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I know GSA is tied to sexual feelings but what I feel now all comes straight from my heart. I love her like a mother and like a woman. I need her.

Well, thanks for listening. It helps me to get things out.

06-27-2006, 09:13 PM

I am in the same type of situation. My husband is very very contolling, and was supportive while I was trying to make contact with my son, but now he has become very very jealous. We don't even share the same bed anymore. I really do understand the want and need - my son can't see me as his mom - but I know he sees me as the woman he's waited for all his life. It's very very hard. One thing I have learnt over this past year was how moms and babies bond together - it's like they are one person. I never knew that. Everyone always told me that my son would have a better mom than I could have been. It's not true - they lied. I have read a very good book called 'primal wound'. It helped me a lot - to explain why I feel the longing I do and why my son does too. Have you read that book reunited son? I really do recommend it - but - I will tell you - it's really hard reading. So - if you have at least a week to just devote to yourself - to let it sortof 'all sink in' then I would highly recommend you start there. Keep loving your mom - she needs that. And I agree. It is a relief to be able to let it out. To just be able to talk about it makes things seem better :!:

5Kmom · 08-30-2007, 10:00 PM

Hello - I don't know your "name" but am very interested in sharing thoughts with you. I am a reunited biomom who was involved sexually with my relinquished son (he found me when he was 29). Are you and your son still close? How does your husband feel about the relationship?

My husband has insisted that I have no contact with my bio-son now. I feel so sad and my son is very hurt and confused. He feels victimized. It's like: when we were discovered and went through the trauma of all that followed, he (and I) were able to look at what we had done in a different light - and understand how devastating that was for the rest of my family. At this time, his family does not know the real reason we are no longer in contact. It has been 2-1/2 years now, almost 3 since I have seen him. I feel so sad about our situation.

I am just interested in how you are doing and how your relationship with your son (and your husband) has lasted this long.

I hope you can write back.
5Kmom

5Kmom · 08-30-2007, 10:03 PM

Dear reunited son - I hope that things are going well for you. I know you received some feedback from another bio-mom and I also wanted to offer my "ear" if you need to talk. In some small way, maybe it will help me feel like I'm offering some assistance to my own reunited son.

5Kmom

dn7 · 11-09-2007, 10:41 PM

what does platonic mean?

Victor · 11-09-2007, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dn7

what does platonic mean?

It means: SEXLESS

dn7 · 11-10-2007, 01:14 AM

thank you : )

young26shes · 11-18-2007, 04:03 PM

hello reunited son, I recently met my birth father, and after we worked through some past issues,after about 2 days it was a instant connection. I understand how you feel about loving your birth mother as a mom and as a women because that is exactly how I love my dad. He is so sweet, beautiful/ handsome and gentle. His voice calms me, his embrace sooths me ,I long to be in his arms.This is one of the most deepest feelings I have ever experienced, and one of the most truest of loves I ever felt, and it comes straight from the heart. I really love him .The sexual feelings may be gsa, but in my deepest of heart it's called love .

06-27-2006, 10:04 AM	#1
reunited son Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3	I just want to be with my bmom... I am reunited with my birth mother almost a month ago. I am in my 30's and she in her 50's. Two weeks ago while I was visiting her, we both shared that we were falling in love with each other. She is not married. I am married with one son and one on the way. She has 3 children. Before my reunion with my bmom, I have never felt completely happy with my wife. We even talked about a separation last Fall. I didn't leave because I couldn't bare the thought of leaving my son. After meeting my bmom, all I really want to do is run away and be with her everyday and every night. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I am so sad when I am not with her. I can't eat sleep or do anything when I am not with her. The only thing that is keeping me from leaving my wife is our son and now the one on the way. And I do not want to leave my wife for my bmom, I want to leave to find my happiness. I am in so much pain. I am not happy in my marriage (even before the reunion), I am sad not being close to my birth mother, and I don't want to be viewed as a deadbeat dad who leaves his family. Heaven for me is being in my birth mother's arms, to sleep in her bed just holding her every night. Being with her is the most important thing to my heart. I just want to be happy. Thanks for listening!

06-27-2006, 08:38 PM	#3
reunited son Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3	thank you Thank you for your reply. It is so hard. I have missed her my whole life and she has missed me. I have always longed for her attention, touch, care and love. It is great seeing her, spending time alone with her and falling asleep with her. Then it gets painful for both of us when we are apart. She calls me her "life", her "love", her "everything", and that is how I feel about her too. I would do anything for her. My loyalty lies with her now. I just want to be close to her. Right now we live several hours apart and my wife is getting frustrated that I just want to visit my birth mother/family by myself. My wife can be bossy and opionated so I don't want her to mistreat my b-mom. My wife was there for the first reunion and was supportive then but now it is different. My ultimate fantasy is to get a house with my b mom and just stay with her every day and every night. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I know GSA is tied to sexual feelings but what I feel now all comes straight from my heart. I love her like a mother and like a woman. I need her. Well, thanks for listening. It helps me to get things out.

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06-27-2006, 06:58 PM	#2
Posts: n/a	reunited son Hi. I've read your post and I feel your pain. I am a mom reunited with my son. We've been in reunion for 7 years. I understand your desire and need to be with your mom. My son wants to be with me too. We too are in love with each other. I also am in a nothing marraige, so I really do understand the empty feeling. What I can tell you are some things that I have learnt over this past year that have helped me - and I'm still learning. Your reunion is very very new. Try to take things very very slowly if you can. One thing I always wished I could hear my son tell me was that he loved me. And - it's OK for you to love your mom. She's your mom. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

06-27-2006, 09:13 PM	#4
Posts: n/a	I am in the same type of situation. My husband is very very contolling, and was supportive while I was trying to make contact with my son, but now he has become very very jealous. We don't even share the same bed anymore. I really do understand the want and need - my son can't see me as his mom - but I know he sees me as the woman he's waited for all his life. It's very very hard. One thing I have learnt over this past year was how moms and babies bond together - it's like they are one person. I never knew that. Everyone always told me that my son would have a better mom than I could have been. It's not true - they lied. I have read a very good book called 'primal wound'. It helped me a lot - to explain why I feel the longing I do and why my son does too. Have you read that book reunited son? I really do recommend it - but - I will tell you - it's really hard reading. So - if you have at least a week to just devote to yourself - to let it sortof 'all sink in' then I would highly recommend you start there. Keep loving your mom - she needs that. And I agree. It is a relief to be able to let it out. To just be able to talk about it makes things seem better :!:

08-30-2007, 10:00 PM	#5
5Kmom Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 38	Hello - I don't know your "name" but am very interested in sharing thoughts with you. I am a reunited biomom who was involved sexually with my relinquished son (he found me when he was 29). Are you and your son still close? How does your husband feel about the relationship? My husband has insisted that I have no contact with my bio-son now. I feel so sad and my son is very hurt and confused. He feels victimized. It's like: when we were discovered and went through the trauma of all that followed, he (and I) were able to look at what we had done in a different light - and understand how devastating that was for the rest of my family. At this time, his family does not know the real reason we are no longer in contact. It has been 2-1/2 years now, almost 3 since I have seen him. I feel so sad about our situation. I am just interested in how you are doing and how your relationship with your son (and your husband) has lasted this long. I hope you can write back. 5Kmom

08-30-2007, 10:03 PM	#6
5Kmom Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 38	Dear reunited son - I hope that things are going well for you. I know you received some feedback from another bio-mom and I also wanted to offer my "ear" if you need to talk. In some small way, maybe it will help me feel like I'm offering some assistance to my own reunited son. 5Kmom

11-09-2007, 10:41 PM	#7
dn7 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 9	what does platonic mean?

11-10-2007, 01:14 AM	#9
dn7 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 9	thank you : )

11-18-2007, 04:03 PM	#10
young26shes Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 6	hello reunited son, I recently met my birth father, and after we worked through some past issues,after about 2 days it was a instant connection. I understand how you feel about loving your birth mother as a mom and as a women because that is exactly how I love my dad. He is so sweet, beautiful/ handsome and gentle. His voice calms me, his embrace sooths me ,I long to be in his arms.This is one of the most deepest feelings I have ever experienced, and one of the most truest of loves I ever felt, and it comes straight from the heart. I really love him .The sexual feelings may be gsa, but in my deepest of heart it's called love .