hi everyone

seven · 07-20-2006, 11:17 AM

Hi Everyone,

Am not new to the site as was registered under 'mar' before but changed e-mail address so easier to register a new user name!

Anyway, have not visited the site in a long time and Thanks to Barb for keeping it going and for the new layout!

Everyone's situation is different but for me it has been for the most part a happy story. When I met my bf I was single and so was he. We have been together for more than 12 yrs now. My closest friends know about us and are supportive and accepting of the relationship. My family for the most part are not. I live with him and we are a couple as it is not something we broadcast. I understand the problem people have with this but for me my father was the man who raised me, not the man I live with now.

Anyway, at the moment am debating the issue of having children. It is a huge dilemma and was pretty sure of the route of sperm donor. Barb you made an interesting comment about that which got me thinking....and a little research on the net came up with a lot of issues for children of sperm donors vis-a-vis having potentially so many half siblings etc. Now I am wondering if that is the way to go. I know the risks of birth defects in close relations having children (not that much higher than normal actually)but we both would have genetic screening done to see if we are carriers for those diseases that are identifable. The issue remains however about the child and possible problems in society for them as I would be honest with them about who his/her parents are.

Any thoughts out there on this?

Regards, Seven

BarbGonyo · 07-20-2006, 03:43 PM

I'll be curious to see what the readers have to say about your questions as to having children with your father.

I'm sure it will be interesting.

Barb

Red · 07-20-2006, 04:11 PM

Hiya Seven,

Just wanted to say welcome! Feel free to pm me anytime you fancy a chat x

okgirl73 · 07-24-2006, 01:43 AM

This is a huge issue for me - and part of my insecurity about further developing a romantic relationship with my h/b (I'm completely up in the air about it). He has two daughters and isn't terribly keen on having any more kids to begin with (issue #1) and I might like to have a child someday so then there's the issue of genetics (issue #2). We have a strong family tendency toward a particular set of mental/emotional issues and addiction that we can already identify. I'd be hard pressed to knowingly expose a child to that - as well as the societal issues of having a child with a father/uncle and mother/aunt. I'll be interested to hear what others have to say as well.

I would say that although I haven't done much reading about sperm-donor's offspring and their feelings etc. about what other siblings they may or may not have, being an adoptee I always but ALWAYS wondered about my parentage. Having been reunited, i discovered that in many ways my biological father was a sperm donor and after the initial disappointment and anger, I haven't been utterly heartbroken about not knowing him or not being able to meet him - of course I know some of the particulars about him, which make me not overly interested in knowing much more about him too. I do still have curiosity about certain things though - such as - differences in my personality from that of my maternal biological family (I have VERY strong similarities in personality, facial structure and intellect) and I wonder if the differences come from nature or nurture so those are questions I'd guess might be big ones for someone with sperm-donor paternity.

That's my pittance of a 2-cents, but as I said, I'll be curious about others replies!

G.

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07-20-2006, 11:17 AM	#1
seven Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 1	hi everyone Hi Everyone, Am not new to the site as was registered under 'mar' before but changed e-mail address so easier to register a new user name! Anyway, have not visited the site in a long time and Thanks to Barb for keeping it going and for the new layout! Everyone's situation is different but for me it has been for the most part a happy story. When I met my bf I was single and so was he. We have been together for more than 12 yrs now. My closest friends know about us and are supportive and accepting of the relationship. My family for the most part are not. I live with him and we are a couple as it is not something we broadcast. I understand the problem people have with this but for me my father was the man who raised me, not the man I live with now. Anyway, at the moment am debating the issue of having children. It is a huge dilemma and was pretty sure of the route of sperm donor. Barb you made an interesting comment about that which got me thinking....and a little research on the net came up with a lot of issues for children of sperm donors vis-a-vis having potentially so many half siblings etc. Now I am wondering if that is the way to go. I know the risks of birth defects in close relations having children (not that much higher than normal actually)but we both would have genetic screening done to see if we are carriers for those diseases that are identifable. The issue remains however about the child and possible problems in society for them as I would be honest with them about who his/her parents are. Any thoughts out there on this? Regards, Seven

07-20-2006, 03:43 PM	#2
BarbGonyo Administrator Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 291	seven I'll be curious to see what the readers have to say about your questions as to having children with your father. I'm sure it will be interesting. Barb __________________ Barbara is the author of "I'm His Mother,but He's Not My Son" (formerly titled "The Forbidden Love, GSA". In the paper back edition of Forbidden Love, there are a total of 20 books left in that form. "The Forbidden Love Genetic Sexual Attraction is $15.00 plus postage and handling. Postage varies in places. In the U.S. postage comes to $2.31 Austrailia Fast Slower $8.40 one week $4.05- 4 weeks New I'm His Mother, but, He's Not My Son" will now be available electronically for your convience. The price is $15.00 check made out to Barbara Gonyo 906 Ioka Mt. Prospect, IL 60056 Upon receiving the order you will be given instructions on how to obtain the book. I hope this will be helpful to all of you who were having trouble getting the book. Barb Gonyo

07-20-2006, 04:11 PM	#3
Red Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: England Posts: 40	Hiya Seven, Just wanted to say welcome! Feel free to pm me anytime you fancy a chat x

07-24-2006, 01:43 AM	#4
okgirl73 Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5	This is a huge issue for me - and part of my insecurity about further developing a romantic relationship with my h/b (I'm completely up in the air about it). He has two daughters and isn't terribly keen on having any more kids to begin with (issue #1) and I might like to have a child someday so then there's the issue of genetics (issue #2). We have a strong family tendency toward a particular set of mental/emotional issues and addiction that we can already identify. I'd be hard pressed to knowingly expose a child to that - as well as the societal issues of having a child with a father/uncle and mother/aunt. I'll be interested to hear what others have to say as well. I would say that although I haven't done much reading about sperm-donor's offspring and their feelings etc. about what other siblings they may or may not have, being an adoptee I always but ALWAYS wondered about my parentage. Having been reunited, i discovered that in many ways my biological father was a sperm donor and after the initial disappointment and anger, I haven't been utterly heartbroken about not knowing him or not being able to meet him - of course I know some of the particulars about him, which make me not overly interested in knowing much more about him too. I do still have curiosity about certain things though - such as - differences in my personality from that of my maternal biological family (I have VERY strong similarities in personality, facial structure and intellect) and I wonder if the differences come from nature or nurture so those are questions I'd guess might be big ones for someone with sperm-donor paternity. That's my pittance of a 2-cents, but as I said, I'll be curious about others replies! G.