Torn and unhappy

torn · 09-07-2007, 12:11 PM

Hi i am new to this site and just need somewhere i can talk, my husband and daughter are in a gsa relationship and it is tearing me apart. We have children and since she came along we have hardly spent any time together, They broke it off once but have since started the relationship again. I feel i have lost him completely. He says i am the only one for him and that he wants to be with me but he spends all of his time with his daughter and hardly spends any time with his other kids now who are very young. She lives with us and it just seems like it has turned into they are the married couple and we are just lodgers in the house. Is there anyone out there that feels the same? Are we the only ones? The thought of losing him is too much to bare and i would rather die than feel the pain i am experiencing right now. She promised when they broke before that she wouldn't come between us but that has all gone to pot. I hate him but love him, feel close to her but dispize her, my head is a mess and i am not coping at all. I have no-one to turn too except a forum of people who are on the otherside. What do i do?

Victor · 09-07-2007, 08:34 PM

I can imagine that my wife felt much the same way as you do. Try not to over react to their attration to each other. Do talk to your husband and let him know you feel neglected and left out of the relationship. I remember my own experience with my daughter....I didn't realize how I was acting until those around me made an issue out of it. The mistake my wife made was to over react. She outright accused us of having slept together and threw me out of the house. Well, it never happened and I have accepted that she doesn't want me in her life and have moved on. My daughter and I are now starting to realize a cooling down of those emotions, and I expect all will return to normal for both of us shortly. When it does, I'll be looking for a new spouse (she has a number of issues besides this attraction between my daughter and me, which I hope my next wife won't share in common). Communication is very important in any marriage.

torn · 09-08-2007, 02:21 PM

Victor do you mind if i ask, was your relationship with your daughter sexual or just close relationship as my husband and daughter are of a sexual which is why i am having such a difficult time. You don't have to reply but from the other side i can see why people on the receiving end of gsa have such a hard time.

Victor · 09-08-2007, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by torn

Victor do you mind if i ask, was your relationship with your daughter sexual or just close relationship as my husband and daughter are of a sexual which is why i am having such a difficult time. You don't have to reply but from the other side i can see why people on the receiving end of gsa have such a hard time.

My relationship with my daughter was not sexual at the time (mind you that we have since spent time laying together, cuddled up, deep kissing, and I have this strange need to smell her). However, I showed her a lot of affection -- hand holding, kisses, hugs, knee pats -- more than I normally show my wife and our daughter together in public. I would go to her room every morning of her visit to wake her and we would spend nearly an hour hugging and kissing and talking to each other. But our behavior was far more innocent than it appeared to everyone else.

I do have to ask you...how do you know they are having sex? Seriously. Are they doing it right in front of you? Do realize that accusing them falsely is almost like inviting them to engage in sex....if they are going to be accused of doing it then they might as well enjoy it for real and make everyone into truthsayers. Be very careful. GSA has a very powerful pull on those affected. and with out the familial imprinting that being raised in the same home provides it's very hard to resist those impulses. They don't need much of an excuse to go all the way.

Vic

liltimetothink · 09-15-2007, 08:32 PM

Victor is right. You need to address this with your husband. Your are both in a relationship as husband and wife with children in the picture. But, you got to understand that the emotions that your husband and his daughter are feeling are immense, to say the least. Try to help him realize that these actions are hurting you and destroying your marriage. If I may ask torn, how long was your husband been estranged from his daughter?

09-07-2007, 12:11 PM	#1
torn Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: somewhere in this hell Posts: 2	Torn and unhappy Hi i am new to this site and just need somewhere i can talk, my husband and daughter are in a gsa relationship and it is tearing me apart. We have children and since she came along we have hardly spent any time together, They broke it off once but have since started the relationship again. I feel i have lost him completely. He says i am the only one for him and that he wants to be with me but he spends all of his time with his daughter and hardly spends any time with his other kids now who are very young. She lives with us and it just seems like it has turned into they are the married couple and we are just lodgers in the house. Is there anyone out there that feels the same? Are we the only ones? The thought of losing him is too much to bare and i would rather die than feel the pain i am experiencing right now. She promised when they broke before that she wouldn't come between us but that has all gone to pot. I hate him but love him, feel close to her but dispize her, my head is a mess and i am not coping at all. I have no-one to turn too except a forum of people who are on the otherside. What do i do?

09-07-2007, 08:34 PM	#2
Victor Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 106	I can imagine that my wife felt much the same way as you do. Try not to over react to their attration to each other. Do talk to your husband and let him know you feel neglected and left out of the relationship. I remember my own experience with my daughter....I didn't realize how I was acting until those around me made an issue out of it. The mistake my wife made was to over react. She outright accused us of having slept together and threw me out of the house. Well, it never happened and I have accepted that she doesn't want me in her life and have moved on. My daughter and I are now starting to realize a cooling down of those emotions, and I expect all will return to normal for both of us shortly. When it does, I'll be looking for a new spouse (she has a number of issues besides this attraction between my daughter and me, which I hope my next wife won't share in common). Communication is very important in any marriage. Last edited by Victor : 09-15-2007 at 08:56 PM.

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09-08-2007, 02:21 PM	#3
torn Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: somewhere in this hell Posts: 2	Victor do you mind if i ask, was your relationship with your daughter sexual or just close relationship as my husband and daughter are of a sexual which is why i am having such a difficult time. You don't have to reply but from the other side i can see why people on the receiving end of gsa have such a hard time.

09-15-2007, 08:32 PM	#5
liltimetothink Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 15	Victor is right. You need to address this with your husband. Your are both in a relationship as husband and wife with children in the picture. But, you got to understand that the emotions that your husband and his daughter are feeling are immense, to say the least. Try to help him realize that these actions are hurting you and destroying your marriage. If I may ask torn, how long was your husband been estranged from his daughter?