Half brother

puddycat · 01-03-2004, 09:59 AM

:? Thank goodness theres a proper web page on this g s a I met a half brother about a year ago, and found him attractive, but i would never tell him ,for fear of losing his friendship . it was like looking in a mirror, same hair , eyes, etc.Very weird feeling . It felt like a thunderbolt under my feet. We never grew up together, or knew about each other ,so to me most of the time i forgot we were related, but he say to me he did not know how to treat me, sister? friend/ he used to get confused, looking back now. He used to have a sharpe manner, sometimes it felt like he was pushing me away,then deny it and laugh it off. He went too far once, a bit sharpe for my liking, [on the phone] so i got angry, and emailed him a few home truths, which i regret as soon as i sent it.!! no way i ever told him how i felt, but it was really hard being close to him, or looking at him.I was not in control of my feelings i guess, hence the email i sent him, i was so mad with him, i guess i wanted to hurt him, WHY!!??Is this normal!? im getting on with things , work etc, but why did it feel like a magnet, drawing nearer to him? i miss him and i know its wrong but even after all this time i still want his friendship feels like im going crazy.... any one out there who can help me, im gratful!! thanx

Erin · 01-04-2004, 06:24 AM

hello Puddycat

I am assuming that you and your half-brother did not have a GSA relationship. How long were you reunited with him for? It sounds like your brother was scared to get close to you, hence his hot/cold behaviour towards you. Almost like a defense mechanism, to prevent himself being hurt. Taking into account your GSA feelings towards him, this was bound to have hurt and made you feel very confused. You do not say if he was feeling gSA towards you, but perhaps he was, and this may also explain his 'sharp' manner with you. i take it that after your email, the reunion disintegrated? Do not beat yourself up about this. Reunions are highly emotionally charged times. By the sounds of it, your brother pushed you towards writing this email, and it is so easy to do/say things in the heat of the moment, especially in situations like this. Have you tried contacting your brother since? Maybe if you tried to email him again/phone him to attempt some kind of reconciliation. But remember, take things slowly and gently.

Take Care

Erin x

puddycat · 01-04-2004, 11:40 AM

:wink: Hello,Erin thank you for your reply.I knew my half brother for just over a year i think!? we didnt have a g sa relationship as you guessed right, i didnt even know it was even possible to feel like that.I only heard of that term a few months ago[ in a newspaper] im gratful you put things down clearly for me...im not crazy : :x he used to act weird around me looking back, and i think you may be right on a few things.. I kept my emotions under wraps, around him [ im good at hiding my feelings always joking.] I tried to say sorry on a number of times,until im blue in the face!even went over to his, was i nevous, heck! I just said hope you are well[ him standing with his mouth open, looking shocked] he just kept saying 'oh''...then we went quiet, i said bye , he shut door!I reckon if we were truthful to each other, and understood how we felt, [but i never told him, too scared and would not be fair on him]we could have sorted it out, a cup of tea and laughed about it...then he shoulnt got sharpe on phone, and i would not have told a few home truths.. when you replied to me, it hit a nerve,even my friends saw how he acted with me, i think his brother caught on, never said any thing. just the way we were, always joking, sitting a bit too near, but i do not know if he knew i liked him a bit too much... if he did he never say any thing. i reckon i lost his friendship for good, maybe for the best. silly things he used to say to me , that he was boring , no way, find myself a young boyfriend, [he said my partner was not looking after me, taking me for granted,] what a stupid thing to say! and why he say all that!!?? jealous??or just his age... he did used to act hot';cold.. one minute all flirty, the next time, asking me stupid questions, why did i like him /? etc Is this normal for a half brother? testing me, it was getting really stupid, but i still found him like a magnet, when i stood next to him my body used to shake, now thats really daft! like a lighting bolt going through my body, [im not a young girl ,mid 3os, so this should not be happening! I read your post about you and your brother, how did you feel? or is it just me!!? anyway thanks so much for me going on, keep in touch??

crystal · 01-17-2004, 10:45 AM

Hi, I am new to this group, and have a gsa relationship with my brother whom i met 22 years ago. Our sexual realtionship only began about 12 years ago. Then we broke up for ten years moved on to other people. Shorthly after my second marriage broke i went back to the city i was born in and found my brother there. We resumed our relationship and lived together as a couple for almost a year. We now have a beautifyl baby boy who is 1 year, we aren't living together, but love each other now even more than we did before. All we want is to be together, and work through our stuff. He and I go through hot and cold spells, he is not as open abuot things as i am, i guess he is afraid of what could happen to us legally and what could happen to our son. hopefully you and your brother will reconcile.

puddycat · 01-18-2004, 10:18 AM

[color=blue][/color

Hello Crystal, i read your messege. I would love to hear from my half brother again, but somehow i reckon its gone too far without contact, to be honest i just miss talking to him, and :cry: i just wish he would say hello! So i reckon i will just have to accept no more chats or even an 'hi' from him.....

puddycat · 01-18-2004, 10:19 AM

Hello Crystal, i read your messege. I would love to hear from my half brother again, but somehow i reckon its gone too far without contact, to be honest i just miss talking to him, and :cry: i just wish he would say hello! So i reckon i will just have to accept no more chats or even an 'hi' from him.....

Treese · 03-08-2004, 06:45 PM

To Crystal:
you said: [/quote] i guess he is afraid of what could happen to us legally and what could happen to our son. [/quote]

I don't know what the laws are like in canada, but in the states, if you were adopted by people other than your biological parents, then you are legally THEIR child. The wording on the final adoption paperwork here is that the child shall there after be regarded as the "real and natural child of _____ with all the rights and responsibilities therein." If that is the case, while you are biologically brother and sister, you may not legally be. I know that here, I could marry one of my half brothers without legal repercussions, as we are not legally related. I know that this does not change the stigma that some attach to the relationship you have, but there is a good chance that there are not legal issues for your relationship. I don't know what issues may face your son, but I hope they are few or none.

I hope that helps.

04-13-2004, 08:27 AM

Thank god for the internet, or id be an in the closet freak!
Just reunited with my half brother last week, and by easter we find ourselves kissing passionately.
I am only slightly disturbed.....but obsessed at the same time.
glad im not alone.
any words of support? I feel bad, but good at the same time.

01-03-2004, 09:59 AM	#1
puddycat Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: london Posts: 12	Half brother :? Thank goodness theres a proper web page on this g s a I met a half brother about a year ago, and found him attractive, but i would never tell him ,for fear of losing his friendship . it was like looking in a mirror, same hair , eyes, etc.Very weird feeling . It felt like a thunderbolt under my feet. We never grew up together, or knew about each other ,so to me most of the time i forgot we were related, but he say to me he did not know how to treat me, sister? friend/ he used to get confused, looking back now. He used to have a sharpe manner, sometimes it felt like he was pushing me away,then deny it and laugh it off. He went too far once, a bit sharpe for my liking, [on the phone] so i got angry, and emailed him a few home truths, which i regret as soon as i sent it.!! no way i ever told him how i felt, but it was really hard being close to him, or looking at him.I was not in control of my feelings i guess, hence the email i sent him, i was so mad with him, i guess i wanted to hurt him, WHY!!??Is this normal!? im getting on with things , work etc, but why did it feel like a magnet, drawing nearer to him? i miss him and i know its wrong but even after all this time i still want his friendship feels like im going crazy.... any one out there who can help me, im gratful!! thanx __________________ puddyC@t

01-04-2004, 11:40 AM	#3
puddycat Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: london Posts: 12	TO ERIN RE HALF BROTHER :wink: Hello,Erin thank you for your reply.I knew my half brother for just over a year i think!? we didnt have a g sa relationship as you guessed right, i didnt even know it was even possible to feel like that.I only heard of that term a few months ago[ in a newspaper] im gratful you put things down clearly for me...im not crazy : :x he used to act weird around me looking back, and i think you may be right on a few things.. I kept my emotions under wraps, around him [ im good at hiding my feelings always joking.] I tried to say sorry on a number of times,until im blue in the face!even went over to his, was i nevous, heck! I just said hope you are well[ him standing with his mouth open, looking shocked] he just kept saying 'oh''...then we went quiet, i said bye , he shut door!I reckon if we were truthful to each other, and understood how we felt, [but i never told him, too scared and would not be fair on him]we could have sorted it out, a cup of tea and laughed about it...then he shoulnt got sharpe on phone, and i would not have told a few home truths.. when you replied to me, it hit a nerve,even my friends saw how he acted with me, i think his brother caught on, never said any thing. just the way we were, always joking, sitting a bit too near, but i do not know if he knew i liked him a bit too much... if he did he never say any thing. i reckon i lost his friendship for good, maybe for the best. silly things he used to say to me , that he was boring , no way, find myself a young boyfriend, [he said my partner was not looking after me, taking me for granted,] what a stupid thing to say! and why he say all that!!?? jealous??or just his age... he did used to act hot';cold.. one minute all flirty, the next time, asking me stupid questions, why did i like him /? etc Is this normal for a half brother? testing me, it was getting really stupid, but i still found him like a magnet, when i stood next to him my body used to shake, now thats really daft! like a lighting bolt going through my body, [im not a young girl ,mid 3os, so this should not be happening! I read your post about you and your brother, how did you feel? or is it just me!!? anyway thanks so much for me going on, keep in touch?? __________________ puddyC@t

01-17-2004, 10:45 AM	#4
crystal Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Posts: 3	response Hi, I am new to this group, and have a gsa relationship with my brother whom i met 22 years ago. Our sexual realtionship only began about 12 years ago. Then we broke up for ten years moved on to other people. Shorthly after my second marriage broke i went back to the city i was born in and found my brother there. We resumed our relationship and lived together as a couple for almost a year. We now have a beautifyl baby boy who is 1 year, we aren't living together, but love each other now even more than we did before. All we want is to be together, and work through our stuff. He and I go through hot and cold spells, he is not as open abuot things as i am, i guess he is afraid of what could happen to us legally and what could happen to our son. hopefully you and your brother will reconcile.

01-18-2004, 10:18 AM	#5
puddycat Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: london Posts: 12	reply to CRYSTAL [color=blue][/color Hello Crystal, i read your messege. I would love to hear from my half brother again, but somehow i reckon its gone too far without contact, to be honest i just miss talking to him, and :cry: i just wish he would say hello! So i reckon i will just have to accept no more chats or even an 'hi' from him..... __________________ puddyC@t

01-18-2004, 10:19 AM	#6
puddycat Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: london Posts: 12	reply to CRYSTAL Hello Crystal, i read your messege. I would love to hear from my half brother again, but somehow i reckon its gone too far without contact, to be honest i just miss talking to him, and :cry: i just wish he would say hello! So i reckon i will just have to accept no more chats or even an 'hi' from him..... __________________ puddyC@t

01-04-2004, 06:24 AM	#2
Erin Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 8	hello Puddycat I am assuming that you and your half-brother did not have a GSA relationship. How long were you reunited with him for? It sounds like your brother was scared to get close to you, hence his hot/cold behaviour towards you. Almost like a defense mechanism, to prevent himself being hurt. Taking into account your GSA feelings towards him, this was bound to have hurt and made you feel very confused. You do not say if he was feeling gSA towards you, but perhaps he was, and this may also explain his 'sharp' manner with you. i take it that after your email, the reunion disintegrated? Do not beat yourself up about this. Reunions are highly emotionally charged times. By the sounds of it, your brother pushed you towards writing this email, and it is so easy to do/say things in the heat of the moment, especially in situations like this. Have you tried contacting your brother since? Maybe if you tried to email him again/phone him to attempt some kind of reconciliation. But remember, take things slowly and gently. Take Care Erin x

03-08-2004, 06:45 PM	#7
Treese Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1	to Crystal To Crystal: you said: [/quote] i guess he is afraid of what could happen to us legally and what could happen to our son. [/quote] I don't know what the laws are like in canada, but in the states, if you were adopted by people other than your biological parents, then you are legally THEIR child. The wording on the final adoption paperwork here is that the child shall there after be regarded as the "real and natural child of _____ with all the rights and responsibilities therein." If that is the case, while you are biologically brother and sister, you may not legally be. I know that here, I could marry one of my half brothers without legal repercussions, as we are not legally related. I know that this does not change the stigma that some attach to the relationship you have, but there is a good chance that there are not legal issues for your relationship. I don't know what issues may face your son, but I hope they are few or none. I hope that helps.

04-13-2004, 08:27 AM	#8
Posts: n/a	Thank god for the internet, or id be an in the closet freak! Just reunited with my half brother last week, and by easter we find ourselves kissing passionately. I am only slightly disturbed.....but obsessed at the same time. glad im not alone. any words of support? I feel bad, but good at the same time.

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