Dad And Daughter/ A Intimate GSA Twist!!!

young26shes · 11-20-2007, 02:08 PM

I have not posted anything on this site since I first announced that I was going to see my dad after having years of gsa feelings for him. Well, I flew out of state to see him. The first 2 days were full of emotion, I met 2 of my sisters who are children , and I got to experience getting to know his side of the family. My dad tried his best to be cordial and make me feel like I was at home, but for the first 2 days, inside of me, there was this jealosy and this anger because he had partial custody of my half ciblings, when years ago he just up and abandonned me and my brother, so that means he went to court and showed an interest, and took responsibility, and initiative, to have partial custody of my half ciblings, when 22 years ago he just up and abandonned me and my brother, paying no child support, and leaving my mother to struggle to support 2 kids on her own at age 30. So 2 days into my trip I packed my bags and informed my dad, that seeing him interacting with my half sisters, hugging and kissing them, and seeing them sit on his lap (in a normal relational way ) was way too much for me to handle, being that I have not had active father or father figure in my life for 22 years. So I informed my dad to take me back to the airport so that I could fly back home because after seeing the (Just One Big Happy Family behavior) I was distraut and emotionally frustrated. Well, here is where the story takes a GSA twist. I was fed up and ready to leave, when my sisters weekend time spent with my dad had ended at 5pm that day, and they were picked up by their mom, and they went home. My dad was still saying that it would be nice if I stayed and finnished my trip with him, when we both sat on the couch and he beganned to hug me. This was not just any hug, but it was long, close and sensual. He draw me as close and embraced me as deeply and as passionately as he could. his hands beganned to go places and explore my legs and other places (not to be sexual), and I wondered to myself if I liked this hug ..... and yes I did!!!!. Eventually I told him that I would stay one more day and see if it went any better. Then I went to the bedroom to go to sleep, he came in looking for something and I asked him for one more hug , and thats when our GSA went to the maximum level. we just could`nt seem to keep our hands off of eachother, he said he loved me , and he expressed his love for me over and over, then he embraced me, and (it) happenned that night !!!!!! and (it) happenned more than once throughout that week, and we took things very slow, and he made sure I was comfortable . I am not ashamed, nore do I feel guilty.We had a talk and he said he would go only as far as I was comfortable with, and that is exactly what he did.Eventually my trip ended and I flew back home, it has been one month since my visit and we talk on the phone daily. I love my dad and he is so gentle,his voice is calming and he is beautiful, the word handsome does not do him justice. I think I will probably do it again and I dont have any regrets. I dont want to marry him or anything like that. I have a husband who I am very much in love with. I just can`t help but wonder what`s in store for my future with my husband or my dad .I dont want to, and will not leave my husband for my dad( I love my husband deeply), but I long to be with my dad, who by the way is single. but the grim fact also remains I cheated on my husband with my own dad. If everything that is done in the dark will oneday come to the light, I dont know what would happen if this should ever surface.

BarbGonyo · 11-20-2007, 03:59 PM

The most encouraging thing I read in your post was that you loved your husband and wanted to stay in your marriage but not lose your father.
I feel that can be accomplished if you do not continue to have a sexual realtionship with your father and do not reveal your feelings for your father to your husband.

If you continue the intensity of the way you are reacting with your father you will no doubt lose your marriage and eventually you could lose your father also.

I hope you will continue to read the GSA website stories to see the problems that can occur. My feelings about parent/child relationships are quite clear in most of my posts if you want to read some of them.

Your father has to be your father and put restraints on this sexual relationship as you are emotionally the child and are looking to hold on to your lost father any way you know how and since you are no longer a child you are acting out in and adult way to keep him.

I know how much this hurts and hope you will do some reading and not lose your family.

Barb G

jen · 11-20-2007, 05:50 PM

hi young26shes - i'm sorry i don't have any words of wisdom or clever advice, i thought you might like to know you are not alone. Our situations are remarkably similar. I think we are trying to establish that amazing bond that can exist between a father and daughter - a bond that we were denied establishing in the conventional way, for whatever reason. Is this the best method? - who knows, but like it or not we have found ourselves with this option. I am not in a position to tell you if what you are doing is right or wrong - I am still trying to answer that question for myself - i just hope you and your dad can talk about the situation. The one thing you do need is to be able to trust him implicity. Alot of people may not agree but I do know that my father would never do anything to intentionally hurt me and has got my best interests at heart. Everything that happens between us stems from the love we have for each other - and at the end of the day I think every parent and adult child has to decide for themselves how to express that love. I wish you luck and happiness however things work out (for both of us)
Best Wishes Jen

kelly · 11-20-2007, 07:48 PM

At least we three are not alone in our plight
im in the same sort of situation but so far we have kept our relationship
on a more or less platonic level just a bit of cuddling and some kissing
i think i am now just beginning to realise how difficult this is going to be for both of us.

keep strong

kells

liltimetothink · 11-20-2007, 08:30 PM

young26shes, I am very glad you got to meet your father and spent time with him. But, I have to admit that you being married complicates your situation. If you really love your husband the way you say you do, then you should be more careful about letting your relationship with your father develope into a physical situation. Remember, you are in a relationship with someone else who is totally innocent in this. Please don't think I'm being judemental because a situation like this can spin out of control very fast. I'm not in a situation like yours, but it seems your not taking into account what your husband has invested in your relationship. Again, please don't take this the wrong way.

young26shes · 11-21-2007, 01:23 AM

you're completely right, I love my husband so very deeply and I would be a miserable if I lost him. I never really wanted to follow through on my gsa feelings for my dad but I did, and I take full responsibility for my actions. The question is , Is there a right or wrong in this type of situation?.... and ofcourse there is. I was wrong to betray my husband and compromise our wedding vows, and is there anything right about a father and daughter being intimate?..... the answer is clearly a big NO!!!!!! but in this type of situation knowing what may be to some morally right and applying it to my life, that up until now was void of the most natural ,deep, and loving relationship between a father and a daughter is very difficult. I don't want to hurt my husband who has invested his time, love, and heart into our marriage, but I really have a passion and a deep new & old love for my dad. To tell you the honest truth, I feel that deep down in my heart, as much as I may wish and hope, I really dont see how this can turn out anyway but disasterous,.. and this really scares me. My father wants our father/daughter relationship and our intimate relationship to continue, ( because we do have two different relationships which may sound a little awkward ), but I dont know what's going to happen, or what I want to happen .....all I know is that I want to continue on being happy with my husband, and I dont want to lose my father for a second time. I have always said that the heart is funny, meaning we can't chose who we fall in love with, or how we love them. I'm sure everyone in this forum has heard this saying before, but for me this saying is so true.

osiris · 11-21-2007, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by young26shes

I have always said that the heart is funny, meaning we can't chose who we fall in love with, or how we love them. I'm sure everyone in this forum has heard this saying before, but for me this saying is so true.

Oh, my god, that is so true.

Well, in a way you're one of the "lucky ones". Your love for your husband seems like it's strong enough to withstand this new love for your new-found father. It's going to be hard, now that you've already become physical with him, to put the thought completely out of your mind (love is just as much of a drug as opium, and just as addictive), but maybe for you not impossible.

I've noticed, in reading a number of the different stories here, and from my own experience, that the happiness of a couple in a close-kin relationship depends entirely on their relationships with spouses, children, and other family members.

The happiest couples, of course, are the ones with no spouse or steady lover, whose parents are no longer living, and whose children are either grown or non-existant.

Next are those couples who are in failed or failing marriages, or bad relationships.

That was my sister's and my situation when getting together: I had been divorced for two years, and her relationship with her boyfriend in the US was on the rocks... or maybe "in the doldrums" would be a better nautical metaphor.

Had our paths crossed just one year or two earlier or later, it might have been a completely different story. Oh, we might still have fallen in love, and tumbled around a bit in bed, but we probably would not be planning a life together.

You, on the other hand, sound like you have what countless women around the world don't: a happy marriage to a good man. Are you really willing to give that up?

I'm usually cheering on the opposite sidelines, for couples who have overcome their aversion to the "incest" taboo and gone ahead and loved who they have fallen in love with, be it father, mother, sister, brother, or second cousin twice removed.

In your case, however, I'm cheering right next to Barb, rooting for you to decide to not mess up one good (proven) relationship with your husband for the possibility of another (as yet unproven) relationship with your dad.

liltimetothink · 11-21-2007, 05:04 PM

young26shes, I'm glad that you don't see me as being intrusive or being judemental. Like you, I don't have a prolem with your intimate relationship with your father. You are both adults fully capable of making clear decisions about how you want to live your lives. Whether moral or immoral, that lies with the individuals in the situation. Society does have its' standards though; and this type of relationship is definetly frowned upon. As I stated earlier, I'm glad that you got to meet your father, and it helped to fill that void that has been eating at you all these years. Your dilema lies in the current relationship you share with your husband. I'm not trying to give you advice, but I think you should step back and reflect on that relationship. You stated yourself that you don't see this ending up anyway but "disasterous". I truely hope my input helps because as much as I want to see everyone in this situation happy; I also hope the people being caught-up and hurt by this are being taken into consideration.

5Kmom · 11-21-2007, 07:50 PM

young26shes, please consider what liltimetothink has suggested. It does sound like you and your father have 2 separate relationships (father/daughter, lover/lover), and it sounds like that is difficult for you. I can only imagine that my own son must have felt some of that same confusion when we became intimate. I felt it, too, but because of my difficulty establishing appropriate "boundaries", we neither one of us were listening to our heads - only responding to our need for bonding/love in the way that adults do: with sex. I wish you the best in your relationship with your husband. I am hopeful from the words that Barb wrote that you might make the transition into a more appropriate relationship with your bio-dad. Keep writing and sharing and reading - we're all "here" for you!
5Kmom

11-20-2007, 02:08 PM	#1
young26shes Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 6	Dad And Daughter/ A Intimate GSA Twist!!! I have not posted anything on this site since I first announced that I was going to see my dad after having years of gsa feelings for him. Well, I flew out of state to see him. The first 2 days were full of emotion, I met 2 of my sisters who are children , and I got to experience getting to know his side of the family. My dad tried his best to be cordial and make me feel like I was at home, but for the first 2 days, inside of me, there was this jealosy and this anger because he had partial custody of my half ciblings, when years ago he just up and abandonned me and my brother, so that means he went to court and showed an interest, and took responsibility, and initiative, to have partial custody of my half ciblings, when 22 years ago he just up and abandonned me and my brother, paying no child support, and leaving my mother to struggle to support 2 kids on her own at age 30. So 2 days into my trip I packed my bags and informed my dad, that seeing him interacting with my half sisters, hugging and kissing them, and seeing them sit on his lap (in a normal relational way ) was way too much for me to handle, being that I have not had active father or father figure in my life for 22 years. So I informed my dad to take me back to the airport so that I could fly back home because after seeing the (Just One Big Happy Family behavior) I was distraut and emotionally frustrated. Well, here is where the story takes a GSA twist. I was fed up and ready to leave, when my sisters weekend time spent with my dad had ended at 5pm that day, and they were picked up by their mom, and they went home. My dad was still saying that it would be nice if I stayed and finnished my trip with him, when we both sat on the couch and he beganned to hug me. This was not just any hug, but it was long, close and sensual. He draw me as close and embraced me as deeply and as passionately as he could. his hands beganned to go places and explore my legs and other places (not to be sexual), and I wondered to myself if I liked this hug ..... and yes I did!!!!. Eventually I told him that I would stay one more day and see if it went any better. Then I went to the bedroom to go to sleep, he came in looking for something and I asked him for one more hug , and thats when our GSA went to the maximum level. we just could`nt seem to keep our hands off of eachother, he said he loved me , and he expressed his love for me over and over, then he embraced me, and (it) happenned that night !!!!!! and (it) happenned more than once throughout that week, and we took things very slow, and he made sure I was comfortable . I am not ashamed, nore do I feel guilty.We had a talk and he said he would go only as far as I was comfortable with, and that is exactly what he did.Eventually my trip ended and I flew back home, it has been one month since my visit and we talk on the phone daily. I love my dad and he is so gentle,his voice is calming and he is beautiful, the word handsome does not do him justice. I think I will probably do it again and I dont have any regrets. I dont want to marry him or anything like that. I have a husband who I am very much in love with. I just can`t help but wonder what`s in store for my future with my husband or my dad .I dont want to, and will not leave my husband for my dad( I love my husband deeply), but I long to be with my dad, who by the way is single. but the grim fact also remains I cheated on my husband with my own dad. If everything that is done in the dark will oneday come to the light, I dont know what would happen if this should ever surface.

11-20-2007, 03:59 PM	#2
BarbGonyo Administrator Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 301	The most encouraging thing I read in your post was that you loved your husband and wanted to stay in your marriage but not lose your father. I feel that can be accomplished if you do not continue to have a sexual realtionship with your father and do not reveal your feelings for your father to your husband. If you continue the intensity of the way you are reacting with your father you will no doubt lose your marriage and eventually you could lose your father also. I hope you will continue to read the GSA website stories to see the problems that can occur. My feelings about parent/child relationships are quite clear in most of my posts if you want to read some of them. Your father has to be your father and put restraints on this sexual relationship as you are emotionally the child and are looking to hold on to your lost father any way you know how and since you are no longer a child you are acting out in and adult way to keep him. I know how much this hurts and hope you will do some reading and not lose your family. Barb G __________________ Barbara is the author of "I'm His Mother,but He's Not My Son" (formerly titled "The Forbidden Love, GSA". In the paper back edition of Forbidden Love, there are a total of 20 books left in that form. "The Forbidden Love Genetic Sexual Attraction is $15.00 plus postage and handling. Postage varies in places. In the U.S. postage comes to $2.31 Austrailia Fast Slower $8.40 one week $4.05- 4 weeks New I'm His Mother, but, He's Not My Son" will now be available electronically for your convience. The price is $15.00 check made out to Barbara Gonyo 906 Ioka Mt. Prospect, IL 60056 Upon receiving the order you will be given instructions on how to obtain the book. I hope this will be helpful to all of you who were having trouble getting the book. Barb Gonyo

11-21-2007, 01:23 AM	#6
young26shes Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 6	liltimetothink you're completely right, I love my husband so very deeply and I would be a miserable if I lost him. I never really wanted to follow through on my gsa feelings for my dad but I did, and I take full responsibility for my actions. The question is , Is there a right or wrong in this type of situation?.... and ofcourse there is. I was wrong to betray my husband and compromise our wedding vows, and is there anything right about a father and daughter being intimate?..... the answer is clearly a big NO!!!!!! but in this type of situation knowing what may be to some morally right and applying it to my life, that up until now was void of the most natural ,deep, and loving relationship between a father and a daughter is very difficult. I don't want to hurt my husband who has invested his time, love, and heart into our marriage, but I really have a passion and a deep new & old love for my dad. To tell you the honest truth, I feel that deep down in my heart, as much as I may wish and hope, I really dont see how this can turn out anyway but disasterous,.. and this really scares me. My father wants our father/daughter relationship and our intimate relationship to continue, ( because we do have two different relationships which may sound a little awkward ), but I dont know what's going to happen, or what I want to happen .....all I know is that I want to continue on being happy with my husband, and I dont want to lose my father for a second time. I have always said that the heart is funny, meaning we can't chose who we fall in love with, or how we love them. I'm sure everyone in this forum has heard this saying before, but for me this saying is so true. Last edited by young26shes : 11-21-2007 at 01:27 AM.

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11-20-2007, 05:50 PM	#3
jen Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 8	hi young26shes - i'm sorry i don't have any words of wisdom or clever advice, i thought you might like to know you are not alone. Our situations are remarkably similar. I think we are trying to establish that amazing bond that can exist between a father and daughter - a bond that we were denied establishing in the conventional way, for whatever reason. Is this the best method? - who knows, but like it or not we have found ourselves with this option. I am not in a position to tell you if what you are doing is right or wrong - I am still trying to answer that question for myself - i just hope you and your dad can talk about the situation. The one thing you do need is to be able to trust him implicity. Alot of people may not agree but I do know that my father would never do anything to intentionally hurt me and has got my best interests at heart. Everything that happens between us stems from the love we have for each other - and at the end of the day I think every parent and adult child has to decide for themselves how to express that love. I wish you luck and happiness however things work out (for both of us) Best Wishes Jen

11-20-2007, 07:48 PM	#4
kelly Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: south of england Posts: 17	At least we three are not alone in our plight im in the same sort of situation but so far we have kept our relationship on a more or less platonic level just a bit of cuddling and some kissing i think i am now just beginning to realise how difficult this is going to be for both of us. keep strong kells

11-20-2007, 08:30 PM	#5
liltimetothink Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 15	young26shes, I am very glad you got to meet your father and spent time with him. But, I have to admit that you being married complicates your situation. If you really love your husband the way you say you do, then you should be more careful about letting your relationship with your father develope into a physical situation. Remember, you are in a relationship with someone else who is totally innocent in this. Please don't think I'm being judemental because a situation like this can spin out of control very fast. I'm not in a situation like yours, but it seems your not taking into account what your husband has invested in your relationship. Again, please don't take this the wrong way.

11-21-2007, 05:04 PM	#8
liltimetothink Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 15	young26shes, I'm glad that you don't see me as being intrusive or being judemental. Like you, I don't have a prolem with your intimate relationship with your father. You are both adults fully capable of making clear decisions about how you want to live your lives. Whether moral or immoral, that lies with the individuals in the situation. Society does have its' standards though; and this type of relationship is definetly frowned upon. As I stated earlier, I'm glad that you got to meet your father, and it helped to fill that void that has been eating at you all these years. Your dilema lies in the current relationship you share with your husband. I'm not trying to give you advice, but I think you should step back and reflect on that relationship. You stated yourself that you don't see this ending up anyway but "disasterous". I truely hope my input helps because as much as I want to see everyone in this situation happy; I also hope the people being caught-up and hurt by this are being taken into consideration.

11-21-2007, 07:50 PM	#9
5Kmom Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 38	young26shes, please consider what liltimetothink has suggested. It does sound like you and your father have 2 separate relationships (father/daughter, lover/lover), and it sounds like that is difficult for you. I can only imagine that my own son must have felt some of that same confusion when we became intimate. I felt it, too, but because of my difficulty establishing appropriate "boundaries", we neither one of us were listening to our heads - only responding to our need for bonding/love in the way that adults do: with sex. I wish you the best in your relationship with your husband. I am hopeful from the words that Barb wrote that you might make the transition into a more appropriate relationship with your bio-dad. Keep writing and sharing and reading - we're all "here" for you! 5Kmom