Me and My Mother. Please read.

RyanMCG2385 · 03-31-2008, 07:59 PM

Having been raised by grandparents until the age of ten, I was barely acquainted with my mother. When my grandmother died while away on vacation, I was staying with my aunt and uncle and it became a semi-permanent home. During the two years that I was living there, my uncle and my older male cousin systematically molested me and through fear and physical abuse trained me for their purposes. Though my aunt knew what was happening, she was also living in fear of my uncle who was violent and mean. It was she who delivered me to my mother at the age of twelve, telling my mother only that homosexual acts had occured between myself and my older cousin, without any suggestion, that I heard about, that I was abused of molested by my cousin or her husband, my uncle.

Why my mother was not involved in my earlier life, I can only speculate because she never would talk about it and never expressed remorse for that. What she did do, however, was to undertake "corrective" sexual training with the stated goal of making sure I wouldn't turn out "queer." At twelve, I had experienced a premature sexual awakening through the two years at the hands of my cousin and uncle. My mother elicited from me, I must say she did it gently and lovingly, she got me to divulge the full extend of my experiience in some detail. After that she took me step by exciting step into heterosexual territory. The feelings that we had for each other during that period were unusual, to say the least, and only recently have I determined in my own mind, at least, that the GSA theory as to reunions of genetically related individuals was likely in evidence between us. Her approach to my "education" was comprehensive in nature, partly because she was living alone and had the freedom to act in ways that might otherwise have been prohibitive.

She started by dressing me in her clothing, which, as it happened, was about the right size. She said she wanted determine if I was inclined to like living as a girl. While I found the exercise fun and went along with it for awhile, I wasn't that pretty or that comfortable in the role. After a month or so of regular cross-dressing during that summer, she abandoned that effort just as I was getting to like wearing lipstick. During all that time, from the first with her, there was lots of hugging and kissing, and not the kind of kisses one normally gives ones mother. I was beginning to suspect her of having lesbian leanings. After determining that I did indeed prefer to be a boy, she set out to make a man of me. I don't know that I became a man at her hands, but I became a competent lover before I joined the military at the age of seventeen. During highschool, I never dated or participated in extra-carricular activities because I was the "man" of the house. When I graduated it was assumed that I would find some trade or get some job where I could learn a trade. The economy was slow that year and I was unable to find a real job, so I decided to enlist in the military to learn electronics.

I also had in the back of my mind that continued sexual involvement with Mom was unhealthy for both of us. It was a bitter break from home as she didn't want it to end. She would later write me that it was best that we part, that I was right about it. During my military service, she remarried rather quickly and I formed the opinion that she hated being alone. My own relationships for the next twenty years or more seemed to be a continued search for my mother's love and loins. My mother died of cancer at a relatively early age and I've not found yet the security and unconditional love I had with her. And, although I never became "queer," I have had episodic submissive encounters with men that were also comforting to me in some strange way that takes me back to my childhood. Maybe GSA influenced my emotional legacy from my cousin and uncle. Or maybe I just enjoyed it.

RyanMCG2385 · 03-31-2008, 08:32 PM

tttttttrrrr

methredhel · 03-31-2008, 09:00 PM

you know, if it wasn't illegal now, i'd be linking you to goatse.

RyanMCG2385 · 03-31-2008, 09:01 PM

What is goatse?

RyanMCG2385 · 03-31-2008, 10:54 PM

Hmm

ok]

?

RyanMCG2385 · 04-01-2008, 11:03 AM

TTT

please someone respond

Victor · 04-01-2008, 01:56 PM

Exactly where did you get your training in electronics, Ryan?

Victor · 04-01-2008, 02:53 PM

And I might also point out that GSA is between consenting adult relatives who meet as adults after being separated at a very early age.

What you have described is sexual abuse, first by your mother's brother and his son, and then by your mother. Most likely they too were abused by their father/mother/both. I hope you have the good sense to seek out psychological help. But this is not GSA.

03-31-2008, 07:59 PM	#1
RyanMCG2385 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 7	Me and My Mother. Please read. Having been raised by grandparents until the age of ten, I was barely acquainted with my mother. When my grandmother died while away on vacation, I was staying with my aunt and uncle and it became a semi-permanent home. During the two years that I was living there, my uncle and my older male cousin systematically molested me and through fear and physical abuse trained me for their purposes. Though my aunt knew what was happening, she was also living in fear of my uncle who was violent and mean. It was she who delivered me to my mother at the age of twelve, telling my mother only that homosexual acts had occured between myself and my older cousin, without any suggestion, that I heard about, that I was abused of molested by my cousin or her husband, my uncle. Why my mother was not involved in my earlier life, I can only speculate because she never would talk about it and never expressed remorse for that. What she did do, however, was to undertake "corrective" sexual training with the stated goal of making sure I wouldn't turn out "queer." At twelve, I had experienced a premature sexual awakening through the two years at the hands of my cousin and uncle. My mother elicited from me, I must say she did it gently and lovingly, she got me to divulge the full extend of my experiience in some detail. After that she took me step by exciting step into heterosexual territory. The feelings that we had for each other during that period were unusual, to say the least, and only recently have I determined in my own mind, at least, that the GSA theory as to reunions of genetically related individuals was likely in evidence between us. Her approach to my "education" was comprehensive in nature, partly because she was living alone and had the freedom to act in ways that might otherwise have been prohibitive. She started by dressing me in her clothing, which, as it happened, was about the right size. She said she wanted determine if I was inclined to like living as a girl. While I found the exercise fun and went along with it for awhile, I wasn't that pretty or that comfortable in the role. After a month or so of regular cross-dressing during that summer, she abandoned that effort just as I was getting to like wearing lipstick. During all that time, from the first with her, there was lots of hugging and kissing, and not the kind of kisses one normally gives ones mother. I was beginning to suspect her of having lesbian leanings. After determining that I did indeed prefer to be a boy, she set out to make a man of me. I don't know that I became a man at her hands, but I became a competent lover before I joined the military at the age of seventeen. During highschool, I never dated or participated in extra-carricular activities because I was the "man" of the house. When I graduated it was assumed that I would find some trade or get some job where I could learn a trade. The economy was slow that year and I was unable to find a real job, so I decided to enlist in the military to learn electronics. I also had in the back of my mind that continued sexual involvement with Mom was unhealthy for both of us. It was a bitter break from home as she didn't want it to end. She would later write me that it was best that we part, that I was right about it. During my military service, she remarried rather quickly and I formed the opinion that she hated being alone. My own relationships for the next twenty years or more seemed to be a continued search for my mother's love and loins. My mother died of cancer at a relatively early age and I've not found yet the security and unconditional love I had with her. And, although I never became "queer," I have had episodic submissive encounters with men that were also comforting to me in some strange way that takes me back to my childhood. Maybe GSA influenced my emotional legacy from my cousin and uncle. Or maybe I just enjoyed it.

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03-31-2008, 08:32 PM	#2
RyanMCG2385 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 7	tttttttrrrr

03-31-2008, 09:00 PM	#3
methredhel Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 3	you know, if it wasn't illegal now, i'd be linking you to goatse.

03-31-2008, 09:01 PM	#4
RyanMCG2385 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 7	What is goatse?

03-31-2008, 10:54 PM	#5
RyanMCG2385 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 7	Hmm ok] ?

04-01-2008, 11:03 AM	#6
RyanMCG2385 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 7	TTT please someone respond

04-01-2008, 01:56 PM	#7
Victor Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 347	Exactly where did you get your training in electronics, Ryan?

04-01-2008, 02:53 PM	#8
Victor Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 347	And I might also point out that GSA is between consenting adult relatives who meet as adults after being separated at a very early age. What you have described is sexual abuse, first by your mother's brother and his son, and then by your mother. Most likely they too were abused by their father/mother/both. I hope you have the good sense to seek out psychological help. But this is not GSA.