GSA is a phenomenon of familial bonding that has been delayed until adulthood.

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GSA Is Traumatic.

By Carly Sullens

GSA is traumatic. According to Healing Resources an emotional trauma contains three common elements:

• it was unexpected;

• the person was unprepared; and

• there was nothing the person could do to prevent it from happening.

When a family member reunites with a lost loved one, they are not suspecting to have an attraction to this person, they are unprepared for how to manage the attraction and there was nothing they could do to prevent the attraction. Therefore, GSA is an emotional trauma. When the emotional trauma becomes sexual, especially in a parent/child relationship- the trauma is not only emotional, but also sexually traumatic.

It is not the event that determines whether something is traumatic to someone, but the individual's experience of the event. And it is not predictable how a given person will react to a particular event.

It is so unexpected that meeting a family member would create an experience of sexual attraction that it easily overwhelms an individual's ability to cope. Morals, ethics, laws, religious sanctions that were easily followed are now being tested and questioned. The individual is experiencing an emotional traumatic event by GSA when they experience such a profound upheaval to their daily lives. For some it impacts their family, their marriage, their relationship with their children, their relationship with close friends, their relationship with God, their work, and their relationship with themselves. For some it impacts every aspect of who they are and how they function.

Often times, those who experience GSA become isolated. Who can they talk to about what they are experiencing? Communicating about the intensity of GSA to others who can respond adequately can help release some of the stress. However, finding others- even therapists who can be supportive, is difficult. The emotional trauma then becomes more compounded when individuals feel helpless by their situation and thus withdraw from others or even other's withdrawing from them because of GSA.

If we become frozen in a state of active emotional intensity, we are experiencing an emotional trauma - even though sometimes we may not be consciously aware of the level of distress we are experiencing. Those experiencing emotional trauma also experience lack of concentration, irritability, sleep disturbance, aggression, and hyper vigilance, all of which I have heard other's state they experience while encountering GSA.

Furthermore, those who were adopted or separated by family at a young age are predisposed to emotional trauma.

Sources of this developmental or relational trauma include the following:

• forced separation very early in life from primary caregiver;

• chronic un-attunement of caregiver to child's attachment signals ("mal-attachment") or reasons such as physical or mental illness, depression or grief.

It is acknowledged that early life trauma creates vulnerability for experiencing future traumatic responses. Most experiencing GSA have had early separation from their kin.

Here are some symptoms of trauma... found on Healing Resources

Physical

• Eating disturbances (more or less than usual)

• Sleep disturbances (more or less than usual)

• Sexual dysfunction

• Low energy

• Chronic, unexplained pain

Emotional

• Depression, spontaneous crying, despair and hopelessness

• Anxiety

• Panic attacks

• Fearfulness

• Compulsive and obsessive behaviors

• Feeling out of control

• Irritability, angry and resentment

• Emotional numbness

• Withdrawal from normal routine and relationships

Cognitive

• Memory lapses, especially about the trauma

• Difficulty making decisions

• Decreased ability to concentrate

• Feeling distracted

• ADHD symptoms

Emotional Numbing and Avoidance

• amnesia

• avoidance of situations that resemble the initial event

• detachment

• depression

• guilt feelings

• grief reactions

• an altered sense of time Increased Arousal

• hyper-vigilance, jumpiness, an extreme sense of being "on guard"

• overreactions, including sudden unprovoked anger

• general anxiety

• insomnia

• obsessions with death

Even when unrecognized, emotional trauma can create lasting difficulties in an individual's life. One way to determine whether an emotional or psychological trauma has occurred, s to look at the kinds of recurring problems one might be experiencing.

Common personal and behavioral effects of emotional trauma:

• substance abuse

• compulsive behavior patterns

• self-destructive and impulsive behavior

• uncontrollable reactive thoughts

• inability to make healthy professional or lifestyle choices

• dissociative symptoms ("splitting off" parts of the self)

• feelings of ineffectiveness, shame, despair, hopelessness

• feeling permanently damaged

• a loss of previously sustained beliefs

Common effects of emotional trauma on interpersonal relationships:

• inability to maintain close relationships or choose appropriate friends and mates

• sexual problems

• hostility

• arguments with family members, employers or co-workers

• social withdrawal

• feeling constantly threatened

Trauma is defined as the person's experience of a situation, not the situation itself. Not all traumatic events or experiences are recognized, especially if they are not the obvious, dramatic kind or well known like GSA.