I Got That Overwhelming Feeling

By Julie DeNeen

One of the hallmark symptoms of a GSA experience is the overwhelming feelings a person may encounter. Have you ever found yourself saying or thinking one of these phrases?

"It's like no other relationship in the world!"

"The connection is so powerful, I can't believe how overwhelming it is!"

"I can't resist how strong these feelings are...it's like we were meant to be together."

"This person understands me better than anyone."

"No other relationship compares to the 'high' I feel when I'm with this person..."

The hard part is it's often true. Most of us don't have any other relationships that rival in intensity. The question is why?

That is part of the reason SOAR was created, to discover all the individual "whys" of GSA relationships- to help us move beyond just the "feeling" into a better understanding of our motivations. We can recognize the reality that GSA produces emotions that aren't often felt in the everyday relationship.It is difficult to communicate to the outside world how intense the feelings are unless the person has walked the road. Rest assured, all of us here have traveled it.

Here's the part that matters- intense feelings don't ALWAYS signal health. In fact many times, it can signal the opposite. (See our worksheet on Is It Addiction? in the self-guidance section). That feeling hijacks the body and brain. It makes us susceptible to neglecting our logic, our reasoning, our commitments, our beliefs, and our principles. Like an unruly child, it sweeps the whole person into a reactive mode where the FEELING is the boss, and everything else is a slave to it's whims. And then that feeling lies to us. It tells us we will die without this person. It tells us that this person is the only one who can fill the hole in our heart. This feeling fuels an addictive cycle that makes us the opposite of in control. It puts us out of control.

GSA feelings can sideswipe the healthiest of individuals. And yet, most of us walk around with untended needs and wounds that become a breeding ground for problems when the spell of GSA hits. If you are a healthy individual, the experience is difficult to manage. If you are vulnerable and broken, then GSA can take you for a ride that may leave you absolutely devastated at it's end. You may find yourself hurting all the people that you love, hurting yourself, enduring unhealthy behaviors, subjecting yourself to abusive situations, and running towards the high that will eventually fade.

So if nothing else, for today- tell that feeling that YOU (your brain, your soul, and your spirit) want to be in charge, and just W A I T.

Feelings don't like to wait. Time is usually the magic potion that breaks the spell of strong emotions.This is coming from the girl with little in the way of patience. If I can do it today, so can you.