Mental dynamics of GSA - Page 2

myshadow · 10-03-2011, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roeschoice

Our mind plays tricks on us. It's not the brain that is affected here. It is not a psychological response, we do not have a mental illness, we were perfectly okay before this began weren't we?

My mind was playing tricks on me and it WAS my brain that was
affected. I became mentally and physically ill from it.

GSA affects people mentally. How can you say it don't?
I'm sorry but that makes no sense to me.

I don't have a PHd but I do have life experience. You say sex is just sex.
I understand that, been there and done it.
When it's sex with a relative, It takes on a whole new meaning.
It changes the dynamics of the relationship. Sometimes forever.

cedarforest · 10-03-2011, 10:11 AM

Roe,
In your last paragraph of your above post (the last one), you insinuate that sex "works better", when shared by people in love. Is that the case, & your belief? Should sex be "reserved" at all? Is there times when it is beneficial, & other times when it isn't? If so, could it be that there is a "prescription" to when sex should, or should not be entered?

Regarding this question, I'm discussing those you term as adult & activity that you would consider consentual. I would like to know your answer, b/c I feel I'm getting conflicting posts from you.--cedarforest

Had enough · 10-03-2011, 12:53 PM

For those of us trying to learn about GSA, this was very good, so thank you. I think the more information about what GSA is and how to live with it, the better. Every decision can not be based on the legal aspect. There obviously are a whole lot of other consequences to deal with other than going to jail. Tips on how to deal with this in a positive manner that is best for all would be greatly appreciated. I thank you all for the time and commitment you put into educating people affected by GSA and opening my eyes to a different way of seeing things from a significant other's point of view.

Red.String.of.Fate · 10-05-2011, 05:15 AM

I have a feeling of deja vu.
Did we not discuss this in another thread?
Oh well. Might be just me. I have been off lately

Nice to see your face Rae!
I wish I could come out of the closet aswell!
Cheers for your bravery!

Now to the topic.
There are several consequences of GSA that feed back to your mental health.

The worse of all is if you end up doing jail time I believe, which is a consequence of the law. The restraint of physical freedom is very crushing on your mental health.

Social consequences. Feelings of inadequacy, rejection, being cast out.

Emotional consequences. Guilt, fear, pain, and shame.

All of this leads up to a divided mental state, where all of the energy is used up in the conflict between the desire to be accepted by others and getting what you want.

Results wary from depression, bypolar reactions (highs and lows), isolation, self destructive behaviour.

It usually ends when the conflict stops, and a solution is found. Be that to run away together, and become lovers, or give up the sexual aspect and become family.

Anyway, we have to look at all aspects to describe the psychological reactions, the law being one of the reactors along line sex and family.
The law, moral beliefs, and sex are just objectual participants in this equation the end result being the mental health of the person in question.

Everything must be taken into account, there is just no way around it.

myshadow · 10-05-2011, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red.String.of.Fate

I have a feeling of deja vu.
Did we not discuss this in another thread?

Yea Red, we have discussed this before. Thats ok though,
Why not keep talking about it?

New people arrive everyday and may not read all the threads
on this site. I know I haven't. It would take a very long time!
Oh, I've tried. I have spent many hours reading until my eyes burned,
my back ached and my head was pounding.

It seems like most people stick with the "current events"
on the site and thats ok too.

Good to see you back Red, was missing ya

myshadow · 10-13-2011, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red.String.of.Fate

It usually ends when the conflict stops, and a solution is found. Be that to run away together, and become lovers, or give up the sexual aspect and become family.

OR becoming familiar strangers again. They will be OUT of your life.

Is it worth it? For me , NO , sex is not worth losing everything else in the relationship.

Red.String.of.Fate · 10-14-2011, 07:06 AM

Well, I would disagree the thought that it means they HAVE to leave your life..
There are cases in which there is a way back if BOTH parties work towards it.
We have a few of those success cases here.

But I agree that sex can forever alter the relationship.

Theoretically speaking I suppose one can argue that sex can just represent an ultimate form of bonding.
But there are just so many confusing questions after that.

Will it happen again? What does that mean for me?
Does this mean we are a couple?
Can my relative be my significant other?
Do we have to be exclusive?
If not are we friends with benefits?
What about the spouses we had? Does this count as cheating?

And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Pretending like it never happened is not a way of dealing with it. It's like ignoring the elephant in the room.

So ultimately, I still say it will forever change the relationship. But there is hope of returning.

Declaring fatalistically that you will forever lose that person, makes it hard for us to have hope, who crossed the line

Vin Rohm · 10-14-2011, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red.String.of.Fate

Theoretically speaking I suppose one can argue that sex can just represent an ultimate form of bonding.

It is certainly the fastest way for two people to bond. And it is clearly the ultimate expression of intimacy, which is key to all bonding.

myshadow · 10-14-2011, 07:51 AM

Sorry Red,
I'm not trying to take away your hope, I still have hope.
Like I said, For ME. Thats how I feel about it because of what happened
to me. I know Everyone's situation is unique.

Your right, BOTH parties have to be willing to work at it.
One person can't do it alone. If the other person isn't willing,
there is nothing you can do about it. Some would say it's
for the best because that person is toxic to you, but I think
we may not have experienced that toxicity if we hadn't taken
things to such a personal level. You understand what I mean?

People need to hear about all possible senerios. Including the
possibility that they could lose their newly re-united love one again.
I'm not saying it would be forever-but it could be.
Something to consider.

OutOfThisWorld · 10-19-2011, 05:38 PM

[quote=myshadow;22516]
New people arrive everyday and may not read all the threads
on this site. I know I haven't. It would take a very long time!
Oh, I've tried. I have spent many hours reading until my eyes burned,
my back ached and my head was pounding.

[quote]

Me too! I spent hours and hours trying to figure out things, especially when I first started researching GSA. I still try to go back often and read on things, thinking I will be on here for a few minutes, and next thing I know, two or three hours have gone by!

Sidenote, I might need someone to teach me how to "Quote", haha.

10-03-2011, 10:11 AM	#12
cedarforest Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 761	Roe, In your last paragraph of your above post (the last one), you insinuate that sex "works better", when shared by people in love. Is that the case, & your belief? Should sex be "reserved" at all? Is there times when it is beneficial, & other times when it isn't? If so, could it be that there is a "prescription" to when sex should, or should not be entered? Regarding this question, I'm discussing those you term as adult & activity that you would consider consentual. I would like to know your answer, b/c I feel I'm getting conflicting posts from you.--cedarforest __________________ PLEASE READ our HOME PAGE /

10-03-2011, 12:53 PM	#13
Had enough Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 7	Great thread For those of us trying to learn about GSA, this was very good, so thank you. I think the more information about what GSA is and how to live with it, the better. Every decision can not be based on the legal aspect. There obviously are a whole lot of other consequences to deal with other than going to jail. Tips on how to deal with this in a positive manner that is best for all would be greatly appreciated. I thank you all for the time and commitment you put into educating people affected by GSA and opening my eyes to a different way of seeing things from a significant other's point of view.

10-05-2011, 05:15 AM	#14
Red.String.of.Fate Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: europe Posts: 278	I have a feeling of deja vu. Did we not discuss this in another thread? Oh well. Might be just me. I have been off lately Nice to see your face Rae! I wish I could come out of the closet aswell! Cheers for your bravery! Now to the topic. There are several consequences of GSA that feed back to your mental health. The worse of all is if you end up doing jail time I believe, which is a consequence of the law. The restraint of physical freedom is very crushing on your mental health. Social consequences. Feelings of inadequacy, rejection, being cast out. Emotional consequences. Guilt, fear, pain, and shame. All of this leads up to a divided mental state, where all of the energy is used up in the conflict between the desire to be accepted by others and getting what you want. Results wary from depression, bypolar reactions (highs and lows), isolation, self destructive behaviour. It usually ends when the conflict stops, and a solution is found. Be that to run away together, and become lovers, or give up the sexual aspect and become family. Anyway, we have to look at all aspects to describe the psychological reactions, the law being one of the reactors along line sex and family. The law, moral beliefs, and sex are just objectual participants in this equation the end result being the mental health of the person in question. Everything must be taken into account, there is just no way around it. __________________ "We fight for that which we can not compromise"

10-14-2011, 07:06 AM	#17
Red.String.of.Fate Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: europe Posts: 278	Well, I would disagree the thought that it means they HAVE to leave your life.. There are cases in which there is a way back if BOTH parties work towards it. We have a few of those success cases here. But I agree that sex can forever alter the relationship. Theoretically speaking I suppose one can argue that sex can just represent an ultimate form of bonding. But there are just so many confusing questions after that. Will it happen again? What does that mean for me? Does this mean we are a couple? Can my relative be my significant other? Do we have to be exclusive? If not are we friends with benefits? What about the spouses we had? Does this count as cheating? And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Pretending like it never happened is not a way of dealing with it. It's like ignoring the elephant in the room. So ultimately, I still say it will forever change the relationship. But there is hope of returning. Declaring fatalistically that you will forever lose that person, makes it hard for us to have hope, who crossed the line __________________ "We fight for that which we can not compromise"

10-14-2011, 07:51 AM	#19
myshadow Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: tornado alley, USA Posts: 460	Sorry Red, I'm not trying to take away your hope, I still have hope. Like I said, For ME. Thats how I feel about it because of what happened to me. I know Everyone's situation is unique. Your right, BOTH parties have to be willing to work at it. One person can't do it alone. If the other person isn't willing, there is nothing you can do about it. Some would say it's for the best because that person is toxic to you, but I think we may not have experienced that toxicity if we hadn't taken things to such a personal level. You understand what I mean? People need to hear about all possible senerios. Including the possibility that they could lose their newly re-united love one again. I'm not saying it would be forever-but it could be. Something to consider. __________________ Rae READ:: / DOWNLOAD::Barbara Gonyo s e Book http://www.amazon.com/His-Mother-But...3684136&sr=8-1 Last edited by myshadow : 10-14-2011 at 07:54 AM.

10-19-2011, 05:38 PM	#20
OutOfThisWorld Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 9	[quote=myshadow;22516] New people arrive everyday and may not read all the threads on this site. I know I haven't. It would take a very long time! Oh, I've tried. I have spent many hours reading until my eyes burned, my back ached and my head was pounding. [quote] Me too! I spent hours and hours trying to figure out things, especially when I first started researching GSA. I still try to go back often and read on things, thinking I will be on here for a few minutes, and next thing I know, two or three hours have gone by! Sidenote, I might need someone to teach me how to "Quote", haha. Last edited by OutOfThisWorld : 10-19-2011 at 05:39 PM. Reason: Added last sentence

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