New - introduction.

[rosebud]

Hi Belinda, I've been reading your post with great interest as some of your situation sounds similar to mine. Like you, I was also reunited with my h/brother. We share the same birth dad, but have different mothers. I am actually married with a family & my brother is single. Having both grown up looking like no-body in our families & having nothing in common, it truly was mind blowing for us both. Before our reunion, we got to know each other firstly by e-mail & phone calls. It was at our reunion that my brother gave off signals that left me totally confused. He spoke to me as if we were on a 1st date. We would look into each other eyes & it was here that we would loose ourselves completely. At the end of our reunion, I asked for a simple hug. He did open his arms to me & all I was expecting was the hug. However he actually lunged forward & tried to kiss me really hard on the lips. It was here that I became even more confused as I wasn't sure what was happening. It was only when I researched it on the internet that I to came across this site.

Reading about GSA did teach me more about what was happening & it did scare me. However deep down, I to felt the thrill & excitement of possibly being in a relationship with my brother.

After our reunion, my brother did tell me he had developed weird feelings for me. Even though I knew what it was, I couldn't find the courage to tell him. Because of all the confused thoughts & feelings, my brother ended up telling me he couldn't see me again. This of course left me deeply hurt as I saw that as rejection. It's only more recently that I have understood why he felt that total separation was the best outcome.

I want nothing more for my brother to maybe one day settle down & perhaps have kids of his own. However I still continue to love him more than he actually knows. Yes I want to be with him more than anything. I even have days when I feel sick & have butterflies in my stomach.

I feel that if I tell him about my true feelings, he will either deny it & reject me again, simply deny it all, or I will scare him even more.

I truly truly relate to how you seem to be obsessed with your brother. I was the same to, more so after our reunion. I would bombard him with e-mails & text messages telling him how attractive he was & that he was my type of guy. Funny thing is, he is the type I go for & that alone is weird. He would always be polite & thank me for always being nice to him. Then when my e-mails got more flirty, this is when he started to back down.

I know deep down he wanted me as much as I wanted him. But I'm just to scared to tell him. So now I've lost him & I feel that I have to sit & wait until he feels ready to get back in touch. However I have also prepared myself for the worse. He may never contact me again & that hurts me even more.

I really hope things work out for you. As the saying goes, you can't choose who you fall in love with. Just be careful about being too obsessed, this might scare him off even more & then this could lead to him rejecting you to. I would also like to add that even though most of us go with what our hearts tell us, sometimes you need to take a little step back & think with your head.

Good luck & I look forward to reading your updates.

[Belinda]

Thanks Rosebud! I appreciate your post very much!!! I can't tell you how comforting it is to know someone else is going through/has gone through what I'm experiencing...(especially the shameless flirting). I'm flirty by nature, but I have been over the top with him and he's already starting to pull back a bit.

Despite my overwhelming feelings of desire for my half brother, I do think I owe it to him (and I) to get to know him first. We've only met once and talked on the phone may 5-6 times. If he were not my half brother- someone I was just starting to date - I would spend more time getting to know him before I was intimate so the same rule SHOULD apply here.

I am seeing him this weekend for dinner and will post what happpened.

Thanks again...