GSA is a phenomenon of familial bonding that has been delayed until adulthood.
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Unrequited GSA
Understanding GSA and gathering support is your best ally to a long term relationship with your reunited family member.
Some reunited family members do not experience GSA, but their newly found blood relative may have unrequited GSA feelings towards them. Support is
Other family members are significantly affected by GSA including, parents, spouses, siblings and children.
Have you recently reunited with a family member, and sense perhaps that they are feeling more than just a "familial" love for you? Are you confused, concerned, or unsure as to how to proceed with the relationship in a healthy and long lasting way?
It's important first that you understand the symptoms of GSA, and what behaviors to look for. You can read the article Symptoms of Genetic Sexual Attraction here.
Secondly, it's important to recognize that at the root of GSA, is a need to bond. Distancing yourself from the other person in hopes that they "get it out of their system" usually backfires, as it makes the other person feel even more needy and obsessed. At the same time, perpetuating an intimate relationship with excessive time alone, sharing of secrets not shared with spouses etc. can exacerbate the problem.
As far as communicating about GSA and the feelings involved, this is another fine
line. You don't want to ignite a fire by setting the precedent that it is okay to
share romantic feelings and fantasies, however-
Some important points to keep in mind…
1. Your family member's feelings are normal, though it may take a long time and a lot of patience before things settle down.
2. Give your family member lots of space and room to feel his/her feelings, without casting judgment or criticism.
3. Set clear boundaries about what you feel is safe and appropriate and what isn't.
4. Find opportunities to do family activities together. Give your family member plenty of time to "bond" and be together in arenas that are public and include other members of the family.
5. Spend time talking about the past, sharing memories of when you were little-
6. If your family member openly admits to wanting a sexual relationship, refer them to our SOAR forum and we can give them the support and help they need, so that you are not the only one bearing the burden.
7. Rejection is the worst medicine for someone feeling GSA. Trying to establish a
relationship, boundaries, and space-
8. If you feel that you need some more support, you are welcome to join our forum too and gain insight and help from other spouses and loved ones that are indirectly affected by GSA.